Work full-time and have a couple of p-t jobs. All require preparation so many, many hours spent in the week working. OK (ish) up to now but now looks as though I have polymyalgia & possibly a stomach disorder. Raft of tests being carried out.
Am in pretty much constant pain & often the pain is really quite severe. Possibility of going onto steroids once stomach pains diagnosed.
In absolutely no position to give up my full-time, day job as DH's income fluctuates &, through no fault of his own, is very modest even when he manages to get full days' work. We don't spend much on ourselves at all. Support a DC at uni (who unfortunately doesn't have a job either at uni or when he's home in the holidays - been a constant battle to motivate him to work - long story) & other DCs finding their way after graduation but needing a helping hand. Have other pressing expenses - mortgages & historic debts.
But I work bloody hard and long and have been telling DH for a long time that we should consider a cleaner, if only once a week, as my aches and pains are making it hard to set to after a day's (and often evening as well) work. In an ideal world, DH & DCs when they're home (all boys - don't know if that makes a difference - it dam well shouldn't of course) would organize a rota amongst themselves or simply get down to it.
DH has been consistently negative about prospect of hiring a cleaner & to cap it all this morning, he stormed out of the room, saying 'Alright, we'll get a f..ing cleaner' - meaning, of course, not a word of it.
I'm hurt by his attitude & baffled (because they clearly love me) and saddened by the fact that the boys (DSs and DH) can't see what's going on and just get down to it.
DH - indeed DCs too - are BU - are they not?
AIBU?
Is DHBU re hostility to a cleaner when I'm ill?
Eleanor04 · 27/12/2015 12:55
TABU.
But perhaps it's hard for them to acknowledge you're as ill as you are?
In any case, I think DH should do more housework than you, as it seems like he's at home more often?
Hope you feel better soon. 
If money is tight enough for you to need to work 3 jobs whilst ill, paying out for a cleaner is not the answer.
The answer is for your DH, who is not reliably in full-time employment and presumably just the one job when he is working, to get his finger out & do the bloody cleaning himself!
And please do explain to your adult children that you are no longer able to support them financially. There's a difference between helping out when you can afford it and being replied upon.
Please be kind to yourself. A colleague of mine has had similar problems around her diagnosis with fibromyalgia - she thinks it's because she doesn't "look ill" people assume she must be over exaggerating it 
.
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