To expect more than three hours notice

(15 Posts)
Thewoodenspoon Sat 19-Dec-15 22:49:40

That my brother in law is bringing his veggie wife to stay....

Sorting out Christmas has been a bloody nightmare. We have had PIL for quite a few years as BIL and SIL always have Christmas with her family. This if fine but PIL obviously want to see them over Christmas as some point. Anyway because of the timings of her family staying and dog issues, we finally agreed that BIL would come down with nephew this weekend, leaving his wife behind as she had lots to sort out before her family arrived. Plan was come this afternoon and BIL and nephew would leave Monday am. PIL would come down earlier so we could all meet up.

I ordered shopping yesterday and planned all the meals. Home made lasagne tonight and a huge piece of pork shoulder to slow roast tomorrow for about 6 hours with mash and apple sauce. Yum yum. Spent this morning cooking and prepping.

Anyway we had a text saying just before lunch saying "we are leaving now but 3 of us now coming". Hence frantic panic and a dash into busy town to pick up veggie stuff and rush back to sort out beds. Sorted.

It now transpires that they are planning on going back tomorrow afternoon before pig fest rather than staying. If I had known they weren't going to be here I would have bought a much smaller piece of meat so we won't be eating it until Christmas (ok slight exaggeration!).

Is it me or is this just rude? Surely she must have known she was coming with more than 3 hours notice.....

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Sat 19-Dec-15 22:51:24

It is rude and I would have asked them to bring something suitable.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Sat 19-Dec-15 22:54:14

I guess if she's veggie, maybe they thought that leaving earlier was better than making you cook pork shoulder plus something for her? Or maybe she can't stomach sitting through you all eating pork.

I quite fancy pork shoulder now. Enjoy it!

Puffpastry1 Sat 19-Dec-15 22:54:19

Just say that she's more than welcome but you haven't had time to accommodate her dietary requirements so could they pick something up along the way.

honeysucklejasmine Sat 19-Dec-15 22:54:47

Absolutely rude. I would have replied making clear how inconsiderate he was not to tell you, without blaming his wife for being a veggie or for coming! Hard line too tread.

Or, I would have got my dh to phone his brother and tell him off.

MaisieDotes Sat 19-Dec-15 22:55:14

That's a pita. I had BIL and his then GF last year for 10 days (10 bastard days!) and only on their arrival did anyone feel the need to advise me that the GF is veggie.

I had a fridge absolutely groaning with meat and DH had been banging on about how much BIL loved his food so I had loads of meat-centric dishes planned.

I wasn't impressed.

WhispersOfWickedness Sat 19-Dec-15 22:59:38

Yep, definitely rude. But DH and I will be round tomorrow to help you polish off the pork shoulder grin

Thewoodenspoon Sat 19-Dec-15 23:02:47

Glad it's not just me who thinks it is rude! It's not the first time they have done this - they came down to visit in October with the same amount of notice.

Still I put on my hostess with the mostess smile and did my best to look serene whilst plotting to do the same back to them next year. grin

Anchor - there will probably be enough spare for you (and a few thousand!!)

Potatoface2 Sat 19-Dec-15 23:07:29

i used to be a veggie.....and i didnt care if people didnt cater for me....i just ate loads of veggies, thats what veggies do ...eat vegetables!

whois Sat 19-Dec-15 23:19:55

Yeah a bit rude but maybe she is just happy eating the veggies so doesn't think you need to cook anything extra?

It would be v acceptable fm for you to have replied 'great looking forward to seeing you all. Didn't realise X was coming today so haven't got anything veggie in tho! Can you pick something up on the way, otherwise obviously lots of potatoes and veg if that's ok.'

BillMurrey Sat 19-Dec-15 23:21:18

Too much thought is going into all this food prep. I'm sure she would be happy with just not having the meat.

And the Pork Shoulder can go in the freezer.

People massively over-cater at Christmas.

nickelbabe Sat 19-Dec-15 23:23:45

If they have form, I personally would get a box of veggie burgers to put in the freezer for these visits.

Or make veggie lasagne grin

OwlinaTree Sat 19-Dec-15 23:24:23

There's probably not potatoes and lots of veg with lasagne tho. Op would need something else.

honeyroar Sun 20-Dec-15 04:55:34

Just stop giving the impression you don't mind. Cook the food you'd planned, leave the bedding for them to put on themselves (sorry, I only just got it dry in time, i expected you tomorrow...).

honeyroar Sun 20-Dec-15 04:56:51

As in, make them welcome, but don't make it seem as though changing menus and sleeping arrangements is water off a ducks back to you..

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