He has over the last 4 years had 3 jobs, the first 1 he was actually being bullied in, it was a horrible time I had just had a baby and he was being forced out of his job.
He left anyway went somewhere else and the same thing happened again, although to me it seems that he was asked to do something by a foreman, didn't like having to do it so kicked up a fuss, making the foreman give him the even worse jobs, this he said amounted again to bullying, from this job he was eventually let go. In his next work place same thing repeated itself, to cut a long story short there were a few who were mate sin this place, took a dislike to dp (who to be fair to him is a really hard worker, always going in at 7 coming home bout half 5 - 6) so he was let go because he wouldnt sign a new contract lowering his wages to 2 thirds of what they originally were, long long story I wont go into but again he was eventually finished up in July. His dad was diagnosed with cancer and began chemo so dp couldn't concentrate fully at work. Its been a horrible time for us the past few years anyway.
During this time I've been setting up a business along with looking after ds who is now 3 and only at nursery 2 full days a week, I've been able to do more work as he has been here to entertain ds but it was only ever a temporary measure that we agreed on.
In august I was given the horrible news that my grandmother who has raised me as her own was given an end of life notice due to spreading cancer that we thought was under control, to say it was a shock to us is an understatement. Her final wish was to be kept at home so I and my uncle did that to our best, I would spend days there caring for her until she finally passed away in October. Ive not been able to grieve in the time since as Im constantly worrying about money. DH has now been signed off sick since July, his reasons for not looking for another job are because he is depressed I can see why he is due to the bullying from work and he is getting help to gain his confidence back, and the other is because he needs to drive his dad to chemo. With all due respect the hospital is 10 minutes from their house, I have offered numerous and have actually even taken hims a few times. so I don't see this as a reason to not be looking for work.
I found out this morning due to someone calling the house that he was offered 2 weeks temp agency work starting from today that he had turned down.I am fuming. I've had to come upstairs as I cant even face looking at him. For the pas 6 months I've tried so hard to hold it altogether, running round after him and ds along with clearing out my nans belongings which was hard in itself, then id have to come home and clean the house, if I made a fuss he'd clean the kitchen once and think that was enough... I feel like i've lost all respect for him, sorry just ranting as i have no one in rl to talk to about this.
AIBU?
To be utterly pissed of with dp, In fact I know im not already so this is a rant.
mumofsnotbags · 11/12/2015 15:03
YANBU, but I guess different people have different levels of ability to cope, his dad's cancer is obviously something he is not coping with.
As to the work situation it sounds like there's a strong pattern of him not getting along with bosses or workmates, is he contributing to this pattern at all?
You are being amazingly strong and he really needs to step up fast. I would be very angry but I would try and calm down before speaking to him, given his dad's situation,
It sounds like you've both got a lot on your plate at the moment. I can totally understand why you're frustrated with him but clinical depression can be hard to recover from (but it is hard to live with someone suffering with it so for you). What treatment has he been having? It is scary going back to work when you're not sure how you'll cope, especially in an unfamiliar work place, so maybe you're being a bit hard on him.
Do you had any rest time coming up over Christmas?
fairylea were in a similar position, this month is his last sick note then he will be transfer onto jobseekers. I no longer get carers for my grandmother and my tax credits have been reduced due to an overpayment (something to do with ds's nursery hours that changed september 2014, and they've only just worked it all out!!) Ive lost £248 a month which is a lot, especially for the bills etc there's nothing left, we've cut back as much as we can but still struggling. all thats left is my income which is only when I work and not guaranteed each month unlike dp's was. I do hope things improve in the new year for you, at least your dh is looking for jobs. Its a crap time to look right before christmas though, the new year always seems a better time to get searching to make a change.
I feel for him so stressed but i'm also stressed, don't know what the solution is, not sure I can manage with this amount of pressure on me much more. I do feel like booking a hotel for a few days away somewhere just to go off on my own. I couldn't even afford the diesel to get there though 
(Imust I think it's DP's DF who is drinking and smoking, unless I've misread it.]
OP, can you get access to any additional support, emotional or financial, for yourself? Have you spoken to the GP yourself? You really are having a tough time of it
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