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AIBU?

Nativity and child protection issue

332 replies

DrMum83 · 01/12/2015 22:09

AIBU?

An acquaintance on Facebook (girl I went to primary school with) has posted a video of her child in the school nativity play. Her mother (the GM) has then shared it on her Facebook. The acquaintance commented that 'I know some people are against videos of children but it's largely focused on DS and its a sad world we live in if I can't do that'.

One of her friends commented that there are child protection issues surrounding this and that at her daughter's school, they are specifically requested to not video the play or post on social media photos of other kids. My acquaintance retorted with 'the headmaster announced at the beginning of the play that video taking is allowed as long as no parents present object'

This rang alarm bells for me.

A) as part of my role at work, I am involved with safeguarding children. Children can be found on fb and hunted down by parents when in care and this can be disastrous.
B) 'no parents present object' what about the parents not present? And what about those sharing the video forward (as in this case)?

I have managed to find the name of school and have typed a letter to headmaster. He may think I'm an interfering busybody but would I be unreasonable to send it?!

Thoughts?

OP posts:

Report

Oysterbabe · 01/12/2015 22:11

I think you are being an interfering busybody.

dementedpixie · 01/12/2015 22:11

We are told we can take pictures but not to put it on social media

dementedpixie · 01/12/2015 22:12

Were there other children in the video?

Jojay · 01/12/2015 22:13

Yanbu. It wouldn't be allowed at our school and we've asked parents to take unsuitable pics down from Facebook in the past. ( I work in a school). Send the letter.

DrMum83 · 01/12/2015 22:13

Yes, the whole bloody reception class were in the video!

OP posts:

Djelibeyb · 01/12/2015 22:13

Usually you are told No social media for this stuff due to child protection.

PurpleDaisies · 01/12/2015 22:14

No you're right to flag it to the school. People have no idea that kids from abusive backgrounds might be in serious danger if they were identified and found. Something along those lines happened at a local junior school.

I don't know how it would be policed by the school though.

DrMum83 · 01/12/2015 22:16

purple policed by interfering busybodies like me, ay oyster? ;)

OP posts:

AChickenCalledKorma · 01/12/2015 22:16

It's routine at our school for the headteacher to say that no photos/videos may be posted on social media. People do ignore her, mind you. Not sure whether I'd say anything or not in your situation - you are quite far removed from the school in question and the chances are there are plenty of staff and parents who already know this is going on.

Ineedtimeoff · 01/12/2015 22:16

If parents of children that are in care want to know where their children are they will find a way. Actually, most parents already know where their children are. Parents have to have their parental rights removed and a child approved for adoption for them not to know where their children are being placed.

I think the child protection element is overplayed. I really don't have any issue with an over zealous parent or grandparent sharing pictures/videos of their child at a school nativity.

ilovesooty · 01/12/2015 22:17

I'd send the letter to the school as well.

Hero1callylost · 01/12/2015 22:18

I'd be cross if my child was in it. I don't mind putting photos on Facebook myself but that's because I'm careful with my privacy settings and friend list. As soon as someone else shares something, you have no visibility or control of who sees it and shares it - precisely why all those photos go round on Facebook of teachers showing pupils how far and wide photos can be shared!

I think you need to ask first what the parents were being asked to agree/disagree with first though. Was the headmaster asking if they objected to their children being filmed for personal parental use? Or was he asking if they mind their children being filmed with the prospect of being shared on social media?

Sounds like it probably wasn't the latter, in which case send the letter.

Wolfiefan · 01/12/2015 22:18

I choose not to put my kids on FB. I would be pissed off if a video of their nativity was on there.
Oh and pissed off at the twats who sat in front of me with their phones held aloft and completely blocking my view of said nativity.
(Suppose I could always watch it later on FB )

ASAS · 01/12/2015 22:19

I'd have previously thought you were being a little dramatic. Then I read about a lady who was featured on Children in Need. Her ex waited at the school gates, kidnapped her and her daughter. Took them to a house where the little girl waited in the garden while he raped the mum inside. He found them via a school video shared on Facebook.

ICantThinkOfAUsernameH · 01/12/2015 22:19

I agree with your thoughts on this. DS came home with a letter from his nursery today stating that at the upcoming Xmas plays they can be filmed and will be on social media and if against that then the child can have the option not to participate?!

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 01/12/2015 22:19

Please do, this would be a huge issue for my family.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 01/12/2015 22:19

If you have concerns then no you're not being unreasonable to voice them especially where children are involved.
You do actually make a very good point about children being hunted down on FB. Put it this way. I would not appreciate my child being put on there. I don't have FB because I value mine and my childs privacy.
If he's a good HT. He'll just be pleased you have those childrens safety at hesrt.
However I would quite imagine most schools have the same policy as Little Pixies school.
However you obviously would not be allowed to take pictures of the children were parents had refused permission.

kennyp · 01/12/2015 22:21

i'd be really pissed off if my kid was on someone else's video on face bloody book.

i'd let the head know. totally unacceptable behaviour which puts at risk children at further risk. plus children who aren't officially at risk could be at different sorts of risks.

Darvany · 01/12/2015 22:21

My mate's XP tracked the family down from a VHS Christmas play video he found in a charity shop. The fallout was terrible. I spent the rest of the nineties buying and destroying them whenever I couldn't convince the staff that it was a bad idea to have them for sale.

It's even more dangerous now. People who go against the no social media rule are ignorant selfish fuckwits.

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 01/12/2015 22:22

agree you should send letter to school

so called interfering busybodies often save children form suffering more harm

celtictoast · 01/12/2015 22:22

YANBU

babybythesea · 01/12/2015 22:22

Ineedtimeoff but it's not just kids in care, is it?
What about kids who are in hiding with one parent as the other was violent? They might be in hiding from one parent but they still need to go to school...

christinarossetti · 01/12/2015 22:23

I would definitely send the letter.

It may be that the school didn't issue the usual 'no social media' caveat when talking about taking videos/photos, but this will hopefully prompt them to do so in the future.

Removing this video from FB is a sensible precaution which will harm no-one, but could save a child from harm so a no brainer really.

TimeToMuskUp · 01/12/2015 22:24

I think you should send the letter.

I work in an infant school and have a DS there, too. We have a couple of children who can't be photographed or filmed for whatever reason, and you'd think some parents were being shot and tortured at the beginning of assemblies and plays as the HT reiterates the "no sharing of films or pictures on social media". And so many parents totally ignore it, naive to the fact that at-risk children can be more at risk because of their ignorance.

Eventually parents won't be allowed to attend school assemblies and performances because people can't consistently follow rules.

Jakadaal · 01/12/2015 22:26

As someone else has said this would be a huge issue for my family as both of my children are adopted. I choose not to post pics of my children online so nobody else has permission to do so. We have a no consent to photos being taken in school and this type of behaviour could lead to my children not being able to participate in school events just in case someone decided to ignore the rules

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