To be narked a grown woman is texting my 11yo ds?

(406 Posts)
OiledBegg Fri 27-Nov-15 18:30:48

Myself and my 11yo ds's father are divorced but have a great co-parenting relationship.

Through a hobby, exH is friends with a woman who is in her mid 30s and married. No children.

Ds is also involved with this hobby so has met this woman many times and they get on well and see each other frequently. She bought him a little bday present which I thought was sweet.

For ds's bday a week ago he got his first mobile phone. Mainly to keep in touch with the parent he isn't with that particular weekend, and to get him used to keeping in touch with us ready for when he's older and more independent.

ExH clearly gave this woman ds's number as she's been texting him a few times in the last week.

The first message was some quote from a film/series that I don't know of which was "hey baby, you smell good you been bathing in cupcakes and rainbows again?"

Then he replied, and she text back with "now you have my number you contact me if you need to, about anything at all ok?xxx"

Aibu to find this annoying, and feel kinda undermined as his mother? The other texts are just "morning! Have a good day at school!" and stuff like that.

Also is this even appropriate behaviour? What if ds were a girl and this adult friend were male, surely it'd be majorly off so why is it different that he's a boy?

Or am I being jealous and precious and totally overreacting?

SweepTheHalls Fri 27-Nov-15 18:31:56

Utterly inappropriate IMO. I would be blocking her.

AlbertHerbertHawkins Fri 27-Nov-15 18:32:40

Hmm, wouldn't be comfortable with that tbh, but not sure how I would deal with it

BumWad Fri 27-Nov-15 18:32:48

YANBU.

Makes me feel a bit uncomfortable

whitershadeofpale Fri 27-Nov-15 18:33:19

Errr, that seems off to me. Those are the type of texts you'd send to somebody you're dating (or grooming).

GruntledOne Fri 27-Nov-15 18:33:20

A grown woman texting an 11 year old with a quote about him smelling good sounds distinctly dodgy. She certainly seems over-involved with him if she's texting him in the mornings just to wish him a good day.

iwantbrewstersmillions Fri 27-Nov-15 18:33:22

What the?!? Weird.

Wonder if she has eyes for your ex and so trying to get friendly with son

Hissy Fri 27-Nov-15 18:36:08

id give her a ring and tell her to back the fuck off your 11yo ffs, and tell her she's blocked.

One more contact and you'll be seeking legal advice for harassment of a child

This feels inappropriate because it is inappropriate.

Then would tell your exh NOT To give out his sons number again.

Spilose Fri 27-Nov-15 18:36:45

That's really weird. I'd be blocking her number.

Hissy Fri 27-Nov-15 18:37:13

One more strike and the number gets changed.

Snozberry Fri 27-Nov-15 18:37:33

If they were chatting about the hobby I'd think it a bit weird that she was contacting him privately but not be too worried, but sending him little pleasantries and quotes which could come across as flirty if it was between adults is creepy. ExH needs to talk to her.

lifeinslowmotion Fri 27-Nov-15 18:38:13

Totally inappropriate. I would block her and tell your ex why.

PresidentUnderwood Fri 27-Nov-15 18:39:00

Not appropriate. If it was a man you'd be immediately concerned, don't assume women aren't a problem.

As for the hoards of posters who'll post following this saying that there's not a peodophile on every street corner - there are a whole lot more than you realise, figured out this week support that.

Block her number and get your DH to ask her not to contact Ds. If he won't, you will need to speak to this woman

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Fri 27-Nov-15 18:39:32

Weird.

I text some of DS's mates, just the odd funny meme or something. But not daily.

She's being kind of odd.

SparklyLeprechaun Fri 27-Nov-15 18:40:38

wtf? Block her number. And delete her from your son's contacts and tell him not to share his number with weirdos.

BoxofSnails Fri 27-Nov-15 18:41:04

That doesn't sound appropriate. She may mean it in a way that is intending to be supportive but it's not coming across that way. I don't think it's all bad for an adult to have an 11yos number - a friend's daughter often comes to my house to make Christmas presents or birthday cakes for her parents and has done since she was 12 - but I text her with the blessing of BOTH her parents.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Fri 27-Nov-15 18:40:45

Yeah dodgy. I also think she might be after your ex.

VagueIdeas Fri 27-Nov-15 18:41:31

I cannot for the life of me think why a grown woman would want to strike up a text friendship with an eleven year old boy. Nope.

Putting herself forward as a confidante is bloody sinister as well.

lavenderhoney Fri 27-Nov-15 18:41:58

I would screen shot them, or take a pic with my phone.
You need to talk to your ex - and I would block her tbh. She sounds weird. Does your DS want her to stop?

Keeptrudging Fri 27-Nov-15 18:42:45

No, I'd be massively concerned by the tone of messages, rather than worried about her trying to get in with your ex.

kormachameleon Fri 27-Nov-15 18:42:49

I think the best way to handle this is to contact her and just tell her straight
"Hi I'm x's mum. Just to let you know that I find the texts you send him really inappropriate and unnecessary. Please do not contact him again via text"

That way there is no room for confusion

TeaPleaseLouise Fri 27-Nov-15 18:43:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairylea Fri 27-Nov-15 18:43:59

If it was an 11 year old girl getting texts from a grown man we'd all say it was grooming. The gender of the roles make no difference. Block her, it's utterly inappropriate.

Kr1stina Fri 27-Nov-15 18:45:04

No it's seriously weird . I wouldn't text any of my kids friends , even the ones who are teenagers . I mean 16, 17 year olds , most of whom I have known for year and some I also know their parents .

And other adults ( non family members ) don't text my kids either .

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Fri 27-Nov-15 18:45:11

Not appropriate and I'd be having a conversation with her about it.

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