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AIBU?

Split swimming changing for parents and toddlers

53 replies

MummaB123 · 26/11/2015 15:41

Just wanted people's opinions on something...
A local swimming pool runs a parent and toddler session a few mornings a week, at roughly the same time as an over 50s session.
A new sign up this week states that from now on, the over 50s must use one end of the changing room, and parents and toddlers the other end.
When asked why, I have been told this is due to the over 50s requesting exclusive use of part of the changing rooms after their session.
The problem with this is that in the end we are now 'banned' from, are 2 family changing rooms with baby changing tables (I am only aware of 5 or 6 more, and obviously these are in high demand!).
Also, the only showers with doors on are now in the banned end!
I have raised my concerns with customer services and am told they have noted my concerns but are still going ahead with it. I am currently awaiting a manager to contact me as I feel this is discrimination.
They say the separation is only until 10.30 and the parent and toddler session runs from 10-11, so shouldn't cause any problems. They seem to have ignored my point that the changing rooms can be busy at the BEGINNING of a session, not just the end, and also, we sometimes leave the pool for a shower before 10.30 as it can be quite cold (bearing in mind there are many babies at this session!).
I just wondered what other people's opinions are on this and whether I am over-reacting a bit??

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Enjolrass · 26/11/2015 15:51

Why have the over 50s asked for that?

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MummaB123 · 26/11/2015 15:58

I don't know, I'm still waiting for the manager to get back to me to answer that. So far I've just been told they requested exclusive use to part of the changing rooms after their session.
As the pool is closed to the public at that time of day, I certainly assume it is because they don't want parents and toddlers around. Bearing in mind, it isn't communal changing, it is all cubicles, I don't really understand how we as a group are bothering them!

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SocksRock · 26/11/2015 16:04

Sounds odd. I would be unhappy personally as I need to shower properly after swimming or I get very red flaky skin, which I assume is a reaction to the pool water. So I need to get my costume off and have a proper rinse. Sounds like I wouldn't be able to do this in your scenario? Which means I wouldn't be able swim, which surely is discriminatory against a medical condition?

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TheSpottedZebra · 26/11/2015 16:07

Is it something to do with running little ones tripping up older unsteady ones? Or them jot being able to manoeuvre round buggies?

NB I know that over 50's aren't typically infirm, but it will be called 50s and over to attract 65's and over or similar...

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MummaB123 · 26/11/2015 16:11

I don't have a medical condition that requires it, but definitely like to get properly washed after swimming. I don't want to go home and have to shower again! But in your case it would definitely be discriminatory! Obviously, they say after half ten we are able to use those showers but I started going when my baby was 8 weeks old, as do many people, and they don't often manage to stay in half an hour!
I think the whole thing is odd! One group have asked for something and got it without any thought to the others!

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VinylScratch · 26/11/2015 16:12

That's ridiculous, if I needed to use a baby changing unit or shower and there were none free at the "permitted" end I'd use one in the other area. They ABU to expect parents with young children to hang around getting cold waiting for a suitable space, if everyone can't get along and deal with being in the same changing area then the pool will have to move one of the sessions to another time.

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DamsonInDistress · 26/11/2015 16:13

I'd simply carry on with my normal routine - I've paid to be there, I'd use the showers, and I'd use the changing tables. They really are not going to challenge a confident, polite woman with a child.

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honkinghaddock · 26/11/2015 16:14

Do they want to make sure they have access to some of the bigger changing rooms? How many disabled changing rooms are there? Could be not wanting toddlers running around them.

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ifgrandmahadawilly · 26/11/2015 16:15

YANBU at all.

You have valid concerns and reasons for wanting to use those particular parts of the changing
Ridiculously entitled behaviour (and a little nasty) from the over 50's group! I don't understand why the pool is pandering to them?

There were a group of middle aged women like this at the pool I used to swim at in the mornings. Very Clique-y and very terrortorial

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Enjolrass · 26/11/2015 16:15

I think you need to find out the reason why, before saying its discrimination.

At my gym (has a pool) so many of the parents with toddlers cause chaos for the older people there. Toddlers running around and general being dangerous to those who were a bit infirm. Tbh one toddler knocked a girl in her twenties over once.

You have the side with more large changing rooms.

The showers are a problem. Tell the manager they need to have doors put on.

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MummaB123 · 26/11/2015 16:18

I think there is just one disabled changing room. It may be that they want more space, but surely if they are also the ones with baby changing in, it should be first come first served. As it always has been.
I wish I could be more confident about it, but would probably go to pieces if someone confronted me! Dreading the manager phoning me, but I have my list of points to make, and I am feeling very angry about it, so hope I am brave enough!

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MummaB123 · 26/11/2015 16:20

There are never toddlers running around. I have never seen that and I have been going for nearly 4 years with my DD and now my DS. Not just saying that to be defensive, I have genuinely never seen it.

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Enjolrass · 26/11/2015 16:24

The thing is, it only takes one accident to make a business change the rules.

Try not to get worked up until you have spoken to the manager.

Write down the points you want to get across, so if you do get flustered it's there in front of you.

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MummaB123 · 26/11/2015 16:28

I do understand that not everyone likes children and it's fair enough if they want their own space, it's just that I don't think it's fair to give them a section with changing tables in whilst a parent and toddler session is coming in.
You might be right that an accident happened, but what they have told me so far is that it was a request from the over 50s to have exclusive use.
I will try to stay calm. SmileWine

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honkinghaddock · 26/11/2015 16:29

You change a baby on your lap or the floor. If you are an adult needing more space it is not so easy.

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Jw35 · 26/11/2015 16:30

YANBU

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G1veMeStrength · 26/11/2015 16:30

Don't forget it is FINE to say 'let me think about that and get back to you in the next day or so'. Sounds obvious but easy to forget and just mumble something you don't really mean.

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SignoraStronza · 26/11/2015 16:30

Honestly, I would just carry on as usual. Petty 'rules' like this are made to be ignored. If anyone challenges you, well, good luck to them going to find a manager in their half dressed state to come and 'tell you off'.

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Florriesma · 26/11/2015 16:34

Sounds really petty.
Any other swimming pools run parent and toddler sessions nearby? I would vote with my feet and let them know why.

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MummaB123 · 26/11/2015 16:39

No! I have looked everywhere and can only find proper swimming lessons. I won't go back though, I'll just take him swimming on my own.
Thanks for all the support, and suggestions. Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels it's unreasonable!

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LaLyra · 26/11/2015 16:41

I think you need to find out why they've made the change before deciding if it's unreasonable or not. I can't imagine the pool manager just decided it one morning.

Some of the folks using the toddler session don't have a habit of leaving buggies and bags in the cubicles while they are in the pool do they? I know that caused a spat at a local pool. It basically meant the other swimmers either had to move someone's stuff or not use most of the cubicles.

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Janeymoo50 · 26/11/2015 16:52

I took a toddler recently to one of these session, OMG, it was grim. The changing room (afterwards) turned into a madhouse of screaming toddlers, kiddies dropping jammy dodgers and wotsits on the floor, mums not clearing them up, swim nappies left in nappy sacks on the benches along the wall, mums dragging those plastic changing tables from one end to the other, groups of women with their toddlers literally taking up enough space for about 6 adults with the amount of stuff they had bought with them and then the buggies, you could literally not move around the changing room for buggies.

Now, before I'm flamed, I totally get it's hard work trying to get everyone changed etc after swimming (I did it myself) but sometimes the two different age groups for the swimming don't "work" particularly well in the changing rooms afterwards at the same time. I reckon those elderly over 50's have got fed up of treading in sodden quavers and not being able to move for sodden toddlers and nappy bags.

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MummaB123 · 26/11/2015 17:04

Haha, I won't flame you, it's a fair point. The thing is though, their session is 9-10, and ours is 10-11. So we are just getting in when they are getting out. At this stage there are no wet nappies lying around, or, I would imagine, food. After our session, maybe.
Barely anyone takes buggies, especially as the lifts have been in the process of being 'serviced' for months now! And if they do, there is a parking area for them.
I have also never seen bags left in changing rooms. There are signs everywhere stating this is not allowed and they will be removed.

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Hissy · 26/11/2015 17:05

Why have the over 50s asked for that?

I take adult swimming lessons which start a little while after the children's lessons have finished. I don't want to change in front of other people's kids. Especially if they are not even changing, just tagging along as part of a brood.

I also don't want to listen to that inane high pitched, upward intimated chatter of teens, or suffer the travelling shebang of chaos that is the swim parent and her little assorted pyjamaed ducklings.

I don't blame them asking for some space. I'm working up to making a similar request that only those who are actually having lessons are in he changing room and the other poppets can squeal and jabber outside in the lobby so I can undress in peace without little Tarquil and Jacinta taking up perches with bloody idevices.

I have a ds, he's 10, changes in the boys now. I don't hate kids, but I don't want every environment i am in to be dominated by them.

Op, it may not be your kids, but everywhere these days seems to be overrun with kids running about and not sharing a public space with thought to others. It's a parents job to teach their child about appropriate behaviour and noise levels. Sadly, it's as rare as hens teeth.

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AuntieStella · 26/11/2015 17:11

Yea, perhaps the better solution is to move the family swim back to 11:30 so that everyone can get through the changing rooms.

Our local pool has set times that are adults only, and those with children cannot go in (including to the changing rooms) at all until thse sessions have finished.

Most places I've been to have far more children's sessions than adult ones, let alone adult senior ones. So if it is important to them to do this sort of health outreach work, they do need to make it work for them (especially as they might be funded to provide it).

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