Flatmate is driving me batshit crazy.

(57 Posts)
itsthecircleoflife Sun 08-Nov-15 22:43:03

Shes lived here 3 months. Shes a lovely girl, and we do have a laugh- shes just doing things that are getting on my last wick (and in one instance, my neighbours)

Despite me telling her countless times not to, she smokes indoors with no windows or doors open. And she smokes a really stinky brand that smells partically horrible. We agreed that she could smoke at the front door, as long as it was open. Or in the lounge if the french windows are left open. She leaves cigarette ends everywhere- in undrunken mugs of tea, in bowls shes eaten out of and despite me asking her to put them in the outside bin (which is right next to the front door and a 10 second walk from her room and the lounge/kitchen) she throws them in the kitchen bin so im met with the stench everytime I open the bin. Apparantly im a hypocrite because I smoke my odorless and mess free electronic indoors. Right hmm

She constantly borrows things without asking. She doesnt see a problem with going into my room and going through my drawers to find something when im not there. I dont have a gun hidden in there, but I dont want her rooting through my vibrators personal belongings. Shes borrowed clothes and ruined them, and then refused to replace them- the latest being a pair of £90 jeans I hadnt even worn myself. I did lend her things in the past, but that was when I believed she would treat them with a bit of respect and when she wasnt taking them of her own accord. She just doesnt see the problem, and im seriously considering on finding a way to lock my door.

Shes the messiest person ON THE PLANET. When she has been off, ill come home to dishes everywhere, towels on the bathrolm floor and general debris everywhere. And then she kicks off if I throw it into her bedroom. She does fuck all. Shes had the same bedsheets on for weeks, and they were only changed when her Mum came over one day. Oh, and she takes her washing home every fortnight. confused

We agreed when she moved in she would pay £15 a month into a household kitty for joint household essentials- kitchen roll etc. She paid it the first month, and has since refused but funnily enough will still happily enough wipe her arse on my toilet roll. She doesnt eat properly- ready meals, pot noodles or sandwiches.She isnt lazy, she is really bright and has a good job. She would just rather spend her time smoking, doing her nails/hair and thinks theres better things to be doing with her time then housework and cooking. I appreciate im probably a bitnmore house proud than her as its my flat, but shes taking the piss a bit.

We have a parking space outside our front door that belongs to the flat upstairs. The rest of the parking is at the back of the building. Neighbour upstairs doesnt have a car, but her boyfriend stays Friday-Monday, so has told us we are welcome to use it during the week but otherwise her boyfriend will be using it. Flatmate has decided its her parking space. It wouldnt be too much of a big deal, but theres no free parking in the residents parking, some people already have to leave their cars on the street outside. Neighbour is understandbly pissed off because its the space allocated to her property

AIBU to be getting really narked? Im seriously considering of finding a way to get her out!

Hobbes8 Sun 08-Nov-15 22:46:04

When you say it's your flat do you mean you own it and she's your lodger? If so, just tell her to leave. You can give decent notice if you're feeling generous.

EnthusiasmDisturbed Sun 08-Nov-15 22:46:50

give her notice tomorrow

it will only get worse

Arfarfanarf Sun 08-Nov-15 22:48:06

She sounds awful.
You say it's your flat? What sort of tenancy agreement does she have?
If she's breaking any rules then tell her.
I suppose it would be unacceptable to rub a chilli on a loo roll and just take you own in when you go to the loo grin
Seriously though get rid.
When she pissed the neighbours off they'll lump you in with it too.
She doesn't respect any house rules and she's mooching off you too.

EmpressKnowsWhereHerTowelIs Sun 08-Nov-15 22:49:31

Yes, give her notice. The smoking is a deal-breaker even without all the rest.

ImperialBlether Sun 08-Nov-15 22:49:44

Her going into my room and taking things would be enough for me. Get d.

ImperialBlether Sun 08-Nov-15 22:50:04

Get rid, I mean!

M00nUnit Sun 08-Nov-15 22:53:56

No of course you're not being unreasonable! She has no respect for you or your home and is affecting your quality of life. How dare she smoke indoors and leave disgusting stinking fag butts around your flat! You should ask her to leave.

M00nUnit Sun 08-Nov-15 22:55:58

...And having someone go into my room and rifle through my belongings would make me absolutely furious too. Totally unacceptable behaviour.

GruntledOne Sun 08-Nov-15 22:58:35

Give her notice, and in the meantime get a lock put on your door and keep everything you don't want her to get her hands on locked up in your room. And do what Arf suggested re the loo paper.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted Sun 08-Nov-15 23:03:57

If it's your flat then she's a lodger with absolutely no security of tenure. Give her a week's notice, or if you're feeling particularly generous, a fortnight.

Don't tolerate any more of her shit. She's a brazen piss-taker. The going into your room and taking your stuff is beyond the bloody pale. Get rid and do it right away before you're tempted to give her the good kicking she deserves.

lorelei9 Sun 08-Nov-15 23:04:38

She sounds horrific. What's the set up? Get rid of her or move yourself if it's rented.

Arfarfanarf Sun 08-Nov-15 23:05:47

I just am amazed that you start by saying she's a lovely girl then describe how she takes your stuff, ruins your stuff, won't pay her way, thinks rules don't apply to her, pisses off the neighbours and takes advantage of you in umpteen different ways.
A lovely person would not do the things you list.

lorelei9 Sun 08-Nov-15 23:06:10

Oh sorry, it's your flat, get rid of her then. Before she starts a fire with all the carelessness around cigarette butts.

Jux Sun 08-Nov-15 23:10:32

Gove her notice. Get rid of her. I don't see why you haven't done it long ago.

ChilliAndBint Sun 08-Nov-15 23:12:46

She sounds like a nightmare.

My friend had a lodger from hell; supposed to be 2 weeks, it ended up 18 months.

In the end she gave her two weeks notice and she was gone 2 days later.

You've cut n her a lot of slack and she has taken the piss.

I'd give he immediate notice to leave, you have no proper legally binding agreement. I'd change the barrel in the lock. BTW it takes a few minutes to do this.

Jux Sun 08-Nov-15 23:14:47

Do take all your valuables/important stuff into your room and lock your door; try to keep everything outside your room in a way that you will notice if she nicks permanently borrows anything.

It's a horrible way to live, but it'll only be for a short time.

specialsubject Sun 08-Nov-15 23:16:24

there's no minimum term of notice for a lodger - with this kind of entitled filth I'd be telling her to get out tomorrow...

tell her to sling her hook and change the locks. She can go back to mummy who can reap what she's sowed.

Pigeonpost Sun 08-Nov-15 23:21:48

Tell her to get the fuck out. Why have you put up with her for so long???!!

gamerchick Sun 08-Nov-15 23:28:13

but shes taking the piss a bit

A bit? hmm the smoking would be enough to get her out if my loud snarl didn't do the trick first.

Seriously you and her are not comparable, time to ask her to leave and make sure she knows why! Scruffy twat.

RockinHippy Sun 08-Nov-15 23:57:37

Smoking rules breach alone would have me telling her to sling her hook

This is still the "honeymoon period" with this kind of ott, princessy entitled behaviour already, I dread to think how bad it's really going to get.

You need her out & FAST!

Jeffreythegiraffe Mon 09-Nov-15 00:03:51

Is it your flat? Then get rid of her! I'd go ape shit if someone went through my room.

Epilepsyhelp Mon 09-Nov-15 00:10:09

Jesus Christ why would you consider keeping her on even for a second?! She sounds utterly vile.

PrimalLass Mon 09-Nov-15 00:12:45

Is this a joke?

TheWitTank Mon 09-Nov-15 00:25:50

Why is she still there?! Notice first thing tomorrow. Far from being a nice girl, she sounds like a selfish twat.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now