to think that most people only care about themselves

(23 Posts)
SplatterMustard Thu 29-Oct-15 20:23:24

people really don't give a shit about other people do they, they just pretend to when they are with somebody.

WorkingBling Thu 29-Oct-15 20:24:25

Yanbu. Do you have a reason for feeling. This way?

CookieDoughKid Thu 29-Oct-15 20:29:02

It's generally true IMO. We as humas are wired for survival and we put ourselves and our offsprings first. And so what? What's bothering you??

ilovechristmas123 Thu 29-Oct-15 20:31:08

yep mostly agree,most not all

Quietlifenotonyournelly Thu 29-Oct-15 20:32:55

YABU when put like that, not everyone is like that.
Has someone made you feel this way?

Arfarfanarf Thu 29-Oct-15 20:36:19

I agree.
Most people only do thing that benefit themselves ( the win) or benefit someone else but also have a benefit to them (the win-win) or benefit them to the detrement of someone else (the win-lose)

But rarely if ever will anyone do something that benefits someone else that is only negative for them (the lose-win)

pinotblush Thu 29-Oct-15 20:41:11

Its instinctual and yes you do to a certain extent but once a child comes along that changes and you put them first.

SeasonalVag Thu 29-Oct-15 20:42:46

Yes. I have two slipped disks no way if getting my kids to school and my parents have been useless

Oolva Thu 29-Oct-15 20:43:01

Yep most people are selfish cunts.

I get taken advantage of all the time as I'm nice and thoughtful.

CombineBananaFister Thu 29-Oct-15 20:46:18

I didn't use to feel like this until I had children then I realised something kicks in, something survival/maternal that knows no bounds. BUT i disagree all adults feel like this with kids took out of the equation, yes there are many selfish people and I hope you haven't become too disallusioned due to total wankers because there are still some nice, loyal people out there. Not everyone is a user sad

Milkand2sugarsplease Thu 29-Oct-15 20:48:57

Bauman got it right in his work. We have a 'universe of obligation' - ourselves and those close to us who we are predisposed to put before others in any situation.

Mrsmorton Thu 29-Oct-15 20:50:57

I agree on the whole, you only have to look on here. The threads that take off are those where a question is asked like "name five unique things about you" or some such other banal question. Cue (not que) dozens of posters just typing stuff about themselves with rarely a pause to read what someone else has written.

There are many many selfish people out there who aren't interested in listening to and hearing what others have to say and who are totally incapable of empathy.

If you're nice and thoughtful oolva people will use you as a listener and never ever return the favour.

SplatterMustard Thu 29-Oct-15 21:03:30

I guess I am disillusioned. The shit hit the fan here a few weeks ago and not one person has bothered to try and help or give a sympathetic word.

brokenhearted55a Thu 29-Oct-15 21:06:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProudAS Thu 29-Oct-15 21:25:57

There's a theory that everything we do has an ultimately selfish motive and I think that there is some truth in it.

Fortunately, we can get a sense of well-being out of helping another person. As for putting our children first I gather that's about our "self centred" desire to keep our genes going not sure that evolution has caught up with step and adopted children

whois Thu 29-Oct-15 22:12:29

I care about myself, DP, my parents, my sister and her DH and children because I wouldn't want her to suffer, my best friend. Those people I would do something of great detriment to myself to help them.

Other people I like but probably wouldn't run into a burning building to save st risk of my own life, but would leave work early to help them out, offer practical and emotion help if in trouble or sick etc.

Osolea Thu 29-Oct-15 22:27:45

While I agree that most actions have an ultimately selfish motive, I think many people are motivated purely by the feel good factor they get from doing a good thing for someone else. And there's nothing wrong with that.

I think if you're feeling that people really don't give a shit about others then it says more about the people you are surrounded by than people in general, because I really don't feel that way. I see a lot of kindness and generosity around me, and I try to give it back but I rarely feel taken advantage of. I won't go out of my way to help people that I don't think appreciate it though, so I suppose that is selfish in a way.

Mmmmcake123 Thu 29-Oct-15 22:32:10

Yanbu but I think once you accept that it can make you stronger. Most people will not think to offer help without being asked.

Enjolrass Fri 30-Oct-15 07:36:39

I would like to think that I don't always put me or my kids first.

It entirely depends on the situation though.

I have cancelled appointments or trips to the park to help a friend out.

It really depends on the degree of impact it will have on my kids tbh.

A friend had an operation and I ran myself ragged helping her out for three weeks. It didn't impact the kids too much. But I wouldn't have done as much if, for example, if the kids would have had to miss school for 3 weeks.

madmomma Fri 30-Oct-15 13:37:53

Gosh I really disagree! I must have nice people around me. I find most people very caring.

juneau Fri 30-Oct-15 13:42:30

Have you reached out to people? I've found that people DO care and are really helpful when I'm in a bind - but then I reach out and tell people what's going on. By the same token I am there for my friends when they need help too.

SplatterMustard Fri 30-Oct-15 14:09:21

Yes, I've reached out to people, I sent a friend a message explaining what had happened, she's read it and hasn't replied.

AyeAmarok Fri 30-Oct-15 14:38:59

It knight just be that she's busy though OP. Having time to read a message doesn't mean you have time to sit down and reply properly.

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