Please tell me to get a grip!

(6 Posts)
IASM Tue 20-Oct-15 16:21:11

More of an IABU and need a mumsnet grip rather than anything else. So, a few months ago I got chatting to a really nice guy while our daughters were doing sport. He was the first person to whom I'd been genuinely attracted since stbxh (who left over 18 months ago). I left the session kicking myself for not giving him my number - which is very unlike me anyway.

Forward a few months and I recognise him on okCupid so send him a message to that effect. He replies, we have a short chat and I'm really chuffed to have met him again.
Except that from threads on a local FB group it seems that he has slept with one of my friends and was that evening on a date (which ended in time honoured fashion) with another - both of whom through the dating site.

I'm not gutted or upset - that would be an overreaction - but I am a bit sad. The group of friends on okCupid seem to have slept with half the decent local men on there and I'm not looking for that. I'm a bit disillusioned and - truth be told - a bit lonely with no way of meeting anyone really. I'm clearly not cut out for Internet dating!

Please can someone hand me a grip and quickly?! grin

sparechange Tue 20-Oct-15 17:23:05

Ah, so you've spent the last few months quietly fantasising about a perfect life with this guy, and now you find out he is a bit of a man whore player and your dreams are shattered?

PlymouthMaid1 Tue 20-Oct-15 17:46:38

I dated someone once (from a dating site) and it turned out that I was the third Mum from my daughter's school class he had been out with. Put me right off (he was kind of tedious too so no real loss). Luckily I didn't actually know any of the other ladies so no embarrassment factor.

IASM Tue 20-Oct-15 18:26:26

sparechange not so much months - I spent a few days kicking myself for not exchanging numbers and the next class keeping a shifty eye out for him and then forgot. But yes, it'd have been nice to have found out whether we got on for longer than a half hour chat. And a bit weird to be Internet chatting to someone who has shagged two friends (so I no longer am).

Basically I think it's what happens in Internet dating in a smallish community and I don't really like it! grin

So now what - how on earth does someone single with three young children go about meeting people? Not in any hurry or desperate, just would be nice to have a bit of a flirtation and feel like someone other than mummy.

reni2 Tue 20-Oct-15 18:35:27

Yes, that would be a bit too much opportunity to compare notes for my liking, too. Take up a hobby lots of men enjoy. Carpentry maybe or volunteer fire fighting.

IASM Tue 20-Oct-15 18:39:24

Haha! Not sure firefighting is my thing...and if I had time for a hobby I'd probably have time to go for a drink with friends and do it the traditional way. Although I did sign up for language classes recently but they got cancelled. Boo.

And notes have already been shared with me, so I sort of feel like I know him fairly intimately as it is. <boak>

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