So SIL is pregnant with twins (IVF pregnancy), & I'm feeling pretty fed up with her (please tell me I'm being unreasonable so I can shake it off) basically since she announced she has been very O.T.T, saying she can't clean, can't do anything strenuous, shes going to be huge, her sickness is terrible, basically she has said she should have bed rest because her pregnancy is precious, she rang my mum saying she had a cold, mum told her to take a paracetamol (shes a nurse) but she ignored her anyway went to the doctors who basically told her the same thing, she also keeps going on about how her babies should be very intelligent because shes been taking extra folic acid & supplements for a year.
I've tried to offer her advice about things to aid sickness, based on my experience and she shot me down saying it's much worse with twins, anything I say she shoots me down, I'm trying to bond with her over the pregnancy but she's acting like the only person who has ever been pregnant . She also said she won't be going to term (which is common with twins anyway) because her babies are more precious, she said this in front of our cousin who had a very late loss (7 months). I know IVF is very a hard emotional thing to go through but I can't seem to stop wanting to bang my head against a wall when I see her. AIBU?
AIBU?
Pregnant Sister AIBU?
yellowox · 19/10/2015 06:54
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The difficult bit is the IVF. Now she's pregnant she's the same as everyone else and I wouldn't be indulging all this preciousness (which seemingly has two meanings in this instance.) 
Besides which all the talk of how babies are going to be born early "because they're so precious" is just bullshit - it's because they're twins and there's every chance they might not be born early anyway. My ex sil had twins through IVF, iirc she worked up until about 32 weeks and had the babies by csection at 38 weeks. And the world wasn't expected to indulge any talk of how her babies were any better than anyone else's. Oh and she wasn't the only woman giving birth to full term twins at the time, because she told of another mum who had had twins weighing 8 lb each. 
So I would be inclined to say to sil "actually, they'll let you carry the babies for as long as possible because it's far better that you carry them to term." and then I would disengage.
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I presume these are her first. So actually, she has no other pregnancy to compare it to.
With regards to sickness and so on, my twin pregnancy was easier and the sickness finished on the dot of 12 weeks. With my older 2 singletons, I felt horrific and sickness continued past 20 weeks. But that was me.
A friend who has had 2 successful ivf pregnancies was very much the same as your sil. I think because they had paid out so much money to have their babies (1 singleton, several failed attempts and then twins), they were determined to do anything to keep those babies in as long as possible. Which for her did mean quitting all the housework and doing as little as possible which could cause her to exert and induce spontaneous labour. As it happens, she went to 35 weeks.
The only thing you can do is grin and bear it, and call her out on insensitive comments like her babies are more precious than the bereaved parents. No baby is ever more or less precious than another imo.
And it will only get worse when the babies are here and she realises she doesn't have enough hands herself to do everything when you've two babies wailing to be fed, one's been sick and the other needs a balky change!! 
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