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AIBU?

To be shit scared of telling my manager I'm handing in my notice?

48 replies

MsRamone · 09/10/2015 17:59

I'm a newly qualified nurse.

Back in March I secured a staff nurse job on a ward I liked so I accepted it (whilst still a student).

However, my last placement was in the community - And I loved it!

So - upon leaving university my manager (of the ward) agreed to take me on as a care assistant until my pin number came through. I started as a care assistant early September. Upon starting, I've discovered the ward is awful - Me and the other new starter were given 7 shifts in a row and when queried the manager went mental and shouted that she dictates the shifts, not us. On top of this I recently heard a staff nurse slagging me off to A PATIENT!!!! and we still have no off duty for November which is ridiculous. We can't plan anything in our personal lives as we have no idea what shifts we will be working in 4 weeks time - same goes for the staff nurses that have worked on there years so it's not something that will get better once we have our pin numbers. And on top of this - the ward is ridiculously short staffed and the patients are so demanding - the staff nurses keep saying to us "why do you think everyone is leaving?" and "why you want to work on here is beyond me, everyone else wants to leave!"

Then, job came up in the community - I thought I had no chance but applied for it anyway. Interview was today and I got it!!!

Now my problem is telling my manager that I'm leaving before my pin number has even come through.

She's not the most approachable woman and she's going to go absolutely ape shit. I'm scared to death of telling her (and then working my 4 week notice!!)

How the hell do I approach this when she's done me a favour by allowing me to work as a care assistant and has paid for my post uni training, uniform and has spent time organising me into the staff rota etc.

She's going to go mad. Rightly or wrongly? AIBU here and do I deserve the shit storm coming my way?

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BikeRunSki · 09/10/2015 18:05

I'm not a nurse and no nothing of nursing, or understand the significance of the PIN number. But just to say, even after 20 years I am still nervous of resigning!

I really wouldn't worry about resigning. You're giving your 4 weeks notice, as is your right. It sounds like you are behaving far more professionally than your manager. She is a manager, she'll cope.

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DoreenLethal · 09/10/2015 18:09

She's not the most approachable woman and she's going to go absolutely ape shit.

If she does, just look at her and say 'this is why'.

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DoveCazzoEIlMioCaffe · 09/10/2015 18:12

Doreen that is just genius! Do you think you could do that OP? If not, and if this person does lay into you or make your working life unbearable I suppose you could always get signed off with work related stress? You might have to explain the situation to your new boss?

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Muckogy · 09/10/2015 18:13

weren't you on here about this before OP?
sorry you're so nervous, i don't blame you.

but the easiest way is often the simplest way.
just tell her. do it today.
and have a witness with you - very important.

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WhereYouLeftIt · 09/10/2015 18:13

"she's done me a favour by allowing me to work as a care assistant and has paid for my post uni training, uniform and has spent time organising me into the staff rota etc. "

SHE HAS NOT DONE YOU A FAVOUR.

She is the manager of a ward which is short-staffed, where other staff are leaving, and which is frankly badly managed (by her). She needed/needs warm bodies to carry out the work and you were there, without enough experience to reach for a barge-pole. She grabbed you with both hands, if anyone was doing anyone a favour it was you doing her one.

And as for organising you into the rota - pfft, she clearly couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery, otherwise you'd be able to organise the rest of your life around a sensible rota.

So no you do not deserve a shitstorm, and if one comes you way and she starts bawling at you like a fishwife, just calmly wait for her to splutter to the end of her tirade and then comment that she has just demonstrated one of the reasons you are leaving. Then grit your teeth and work your notice. And remember, she NEEDS you, notice or no.

Good luck in your new job.

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MsRamone · 09/10/2015 18:15

Funnily enough, me and the other new starter had tried to arrange a meeting with the manager earlier in the week. The other new starter said to me "if she kicks off, simply say "this is why I'm leaving"."

I started just under a month ago and have been stressed and upset every since. I just want out of there, it's awful. It's like a massive pressure cooker and the interview today was so lovely, two lovely managers - a lovely team behind them, so much support on offer - I simply can't turn it down.

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Muckogy · 09/10/2015 18:21

tell her immediately.
just be sure and have someone you trust with you.
bitch owes you nothing.
if she threatens you, report her.

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Muckogy · 09/10/2015 18:21

sorry that should read you owe that bitch nothing.

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HarveySchlumpfenburger · 09/10/2015 18:27

Exactly what whereyouleftit said.

The only person that deserves a shit storm coming her way is her. If she can't support her staff and treat them like human beings, then she is going to have them leave regularly.

You don't have to put up with that, and if you've found somewhere better, then grab the opportunity with both hands.

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FishWithABicycle · 09/10/2015 18:28

You are clearly highly employable - she has been taking advantage of you, not doing you a favour.

You aren't an indentured slave, they means you have the right to leave any employment situation now or in the future.

Hand in your notice. Allow any storm to rage unheeded - she has no power over you.

Good luck with your new job.

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KitKat1985 · 09/10/2015 18:42

YANBU to leave if you are unhappy. However, and I say this as a nurse, please do not expect community nursing to be any less chaotic / better staffed. One community nurse I spoke to recently was trying to manage a caseload of over 80, and almost every ward I know at the moment has staffing issues.

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elfycat · 09/10/2015 18:43

Sound like a solid escape plan. From the sounds of the ward you were lucky that your PIN hadn't come through and you were left with the responsibility/accountability of running a sinking ship.

No guilt, no fear. They haven't done you a favour except to show you that there are better options. Go have fun in the community.

If I return to nursing (currently lapsed after having DC but DD2 is now in reception) it will be to go to the community.

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x2boys · 09/10/2015 18:45

I,m a nurse although not working right now grab the community job with both hands she's done you no favours do you really want to be working all the shitty shifts over Xmas? And I wouldn't worry about a referance off her i, m sure you can get one off past placements go for itSmile

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MsRamone · 09/10/2015 18:49

Thanks guys, I really am in turmoil over this but I know community is for me. Smaller teams (social anxiety issues), no nights (chronic insomniac), the office is literally around the corner from my house, the team are lovely, I get to spend the majority of my day on my day (heaven for an introvert) - I just wanted this so much ... I know she's going to go mental though because that's how she is and I hate, hate, hate conflict

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MsRamone · 09/10/2015 18:51

Plus, last year the newly qualified staff nurse on the ward did Christmas eve, Christmas day, boxing day and then NYE night and NYD night. How the hell is that fair? Manager has also hinted that 7 days in a row could become a more regular thing. I simply can't do it.

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Castrovalva · 09/10/2015 18:51

What is she gonna do,

Sack you?

;)

< sorry, flippant, I know but just keep repeating that to yourself>

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MsRamone · 09/10/2015 18:54

I know but she's quite a force to be reckoned with Sad especially for someone who likes to just fade into the background lol - I hate conflict

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x2boys · 09/10/2015 18:54

Have you any holidays to take ? If she goes mental tame it further I hate how NHS .managers think they have the right to treat people like crap but you only have to put up with for four weeks so just get on with it if the staff slag you off it because they are jealous.

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lougle · 09/10/2015 18:54

Just type a letter, thanking her for the experience, but explaining that you have the rare opportunity to join the community team, which you feel is a career path you'd like to pursue.

I did a return to practice placement in one department and thought I'd work there afterwards. Then I saw an advert for ICU and decided to work there instead.

You have a contract for a reason. It allows you to give notice that you intend to leave.

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voodoolooloo · 09/10/2015 18:56

You've done her a favour! A ( soon to be) qualified nurse working on a carers wage?!. You are obviously very employable, I bet he couldn't wait for you to start work.
You have nothing to fear. She ant do anything. You hand it in and if questioned tell her you've decided community work is the way for you. I she gets arsey make sure she knows she's A huge part of your reason.
The best of luck for this and your new job.

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KitKat1985 · 09/10/2015 18:57

Yes your manager probably will go mental and it probably will be a miserable 4 weeks working out your notice, but you can't let that alone put you off this job if that's what you really want.

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Iliketeaagain · 09/10/2015 18:58

I half understand why you feel guilty, but if you've got a job you really want, you take it and hand in your notice.

And yes the community can be stressful, incredibly busy etc etc, but no nights is a big relief (imo), but there is no greater place to work (totally biased opinion!)

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Namechangenell · 09/10/2015 19:02

Did you post about this a week or so back, OP? If not, there's someone with a very similar thread on here. Either way, just resign. If she goes crazy, walk away. Job done and everyone lives happily ever after.

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Muckogy · 09/10/2015 19:11

i hate conflict too.
but sometimes you just have to face things.
honestly you'll feel better once you tell her, regardless of her reaction.
what can she do? hit you? fire you?

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SealSong · 09/10/2015 19:11

I work in the NHS, I know what a difficult environment it can be. One possibility would be for you to hand your notice in via HR and ask them to contact your manager on your behalf, saying the request is due to your fear of your manager's reaction. I've generally found HR in the NHS to be pretty approachable.

But honestly do not think twice about leaving the shitty job, the job in the community sounds like it is worth grabbing with both hands. Good luck and just stay focussed on thoughts of your future career.

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