Next month my DP has a significant birthday. MIL has offered to stay at our house to look after dc (she lives in another county) as I have arranged a spa weekend with us, DP's closest friend and his DW. I never asked for her to 'babysit', she made the offer when we were talking about his birthday a few months back. That is the situation now.
A bit of backstory, to try and put things into perspective....
MIL has a terrible habit of letting us down. When I was pregnant, and through mat leave, she made many offers for childcare and many promises. We never asked, always took the attitude that we chose to have dc so childcare is our problem. All throughout we kept asking if she still wanted to stick to what she had offered and gave many, many opportunities for her to back out. Even said out straight that we needed to know if she wasn't 100% happy with what she has offered so we could arrange childcare, as it's easier to sort ahead of time. No, she said, she meant what she said and she wants to help.
Fast forward to my first month back at work.......4 times in that month she let us down, citing precarious reasons 'I can't pick up dc as your father has booked us a table to go out', 'I can't pick up dc as the traffic will be really bad at that time of day' etc. In that first month I used up all my carers leave as I had to leave my shift to pick up dc (she always gave very little notice, either the night before or on the actual day). In the end, I went on permanent nights as I was finding it impossible to sort out childcare at such short notice At this point in time I was NC with my family (just in case anyone was wondering why my family didn't help).
Last weekend was the latest let down. Both my DP and I ended up being booked to work on Sunday. This is very rare, we are normally very good at marrying up our shifts to stop this happening. DP happened to mention on the phone to MIL that he will take Sunday off. Her response was 'Oh, don't do that, I can come and look after dc for you'. DP said not to worry, he was due a day off anyway but she insisted that she would come and look after dc. On Friday came the phone call...'I just wanted to let you know that I won't be able to look after dc on Sunday, it's too far to come and return in one day'
So my AIBU finally .....I have spoken to DP and now revealed his birthday surprise I really wanted to surprise him on the day but, after the weekend, I really feel I can't trust MIL not to let us down at the last minute. My mum, who we are now back in contact with, has offered to have dc for the weekend and I know my parents won't let us down. I said to DP that I would like him to tell his mum not to worry about the weekend as I have made other arrangements. He doesn't want to do this as it 'may upset her'. AIBU to cancel her and use my mum instead?
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AIBU?
To cancel MIL babysitting?
39 replies
needingtovent · 07/10/2015 10:01
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