To think it's not always rude to ask someones age?

(19 Posts)
MinecraftWonder Tue 06-Oct-15 15:44:23

Dh and I were at an appointment this morning. It was a 'professional' appointment but the guy we spoke to was lovely, very chatty, we had a few laughs and had a bit of rapport going.

So the conversation touched on dc, then schools/areas...and when I mentioned the comprehensive school I went to, the guy we were seeing said 'Oh I went there!'. It was a bit of a coincidence as the appointment was about 30 miles away from said school so not really local and obviously piqued my interest.

Anyway, my instant response was 'Oh really?! How old are you?'.
So he kind of smiles, mutters and mumbles a bit and goes a bit pink then faffs with some papers and changes the subject quite abruptly - kills the conversation stone dead.

Dh thought it was a weird response but thinks I must have embarrassed him by asking his age. I suppose I could have said 'Oh really, when were you there?' but essentially that's the same question anyway!

In the context of the conversation i'd have said it was pretty obvious I was asking to try and pin him down to a year at school - he was quite clearly in the same sort of age bracket as me. I'm rubbish at ages but would have guessed between 28-34ish and would say it was highly unlikely impossible that he was actually a young looking 50 year old or anything. I also look around the 'just under 30' mark so it's not like he was actually 26 and may have thought I was 45 and lumping myself with him, which he was offended by.

AIBU to think it's 'odd' to be embarrassed by age questions when asked by someone similarly aged? Or was IBVU to ask him at all? It did cross my mind that maybe the 'I went there!' from him was actually a spur of the moment fib, which he instantly regretted and then panicked about in case I started naming names he should know lol.

Prettyeyedpiratesmile Tue 06-Oct-15 15:46:34

It's a natural question to ask someone who went to the same school as you...if you'd said "oh when did you go there?" then you've as good as asked his age....so YANBU and people need to stop being over sensitive!

Prettyeyedpiratesmile Tue 06-Oct-15 15:47:19

Ps....did you take the jackets back? gringrinflowers

trollkonor Tue 06-Oct-15 15:49:14

You weren't in the same year and he was embarrassed that you didnt remember him?

MinecraftWonder Tue 06-Oct-15 15:51:41

Pretty - I've ignored the thread for a while as the constant barrage was starting to get to me! But I will return to it tonight when I have more patience time to give an update!

MinecraftWonder Tue 06-Oct-15 15:53:18

Oh fuck troll, I can feel my cheeks going red just reading your comment. That's not something I considered, I bloody hope not!

blush

InTheBox Tue 06-Oct-15 16:03:13

You shouldn't have asked him so directly. You should have said 'when were you there, I was there in xyz'. It might be the same thing but tact and all that... it's not always what you say but how you say it. In short you were being unreasonable.

Prettyeyedpiratesmile Tue 06-Oct-15 16:10:31

Haha! That thread gave me mileage for DAYS! I asked so many people what they would've done and 90% said keep it lol. I think said man is a bit strange. I don't remember everyone I went to school with nor do I expect them to remember me! I wouldn't worry about it. smile will you have anymore meeting with him and you can dig a bit further?

Prettyeyedpiratesmile Tue 06-Oct-15 16:13:18

inthebox do you really think it's unreasonable to ask someone in the course of a conversation that relates to going to the same school what age you are? It's generally the first one I would ask...then have a good old gab about the teachers we remember or folk we knew. It's not like OP asked him how much he earned or how much his house cost?!

InTheBox Tue 06-Oct-15 16:17:02

Prettyeyedpiratesmile Yes I do.
There was a more 'polite' way of doing it as OP mentioned, better to ask what school year, in fact that would provide better clarity, age wouldn't necessarily pin someone down but a class year would. I concede that perhaps he just made it up to try and win them over but asking people their age in such an off-the-cuff fashion is just not on.

Prettyeyedpiratesmile Tue 06-Oct-15 16:22:17

The other way OP put it is still a give away about age. I honestly don't get how some people get by in life by being so sensitive about simple questions confused

MinecraftWonder Tue 06-Oct-15 16:26:27

I'd never ask someone who was noticibly older or younger than me their age...it was drilled into me as a child. But I don't think I'd have ever considered asking someone the same age as me as rude.

Anyway, you may judge me but trolls comment gave me a cold sweat so I've just typed him into facebook blush . I found him and actually have a few friends in common, but all sorts of random people (couple from work/school/old job etc) and no obvious link. He doesn't have any school info down though.

I really don't think I've ever clapped eyes on him, i'm pretty sure I should remember someone from my year - but it was over a decade ago and there were 300 in the same year as me confused

MrsTedCrilly Tue 06-Oct-15 16:31:07

I don't get why people are so sensitive about age confused YWNBU!

DrDreReturns Tue 06-Oct-15 16:33:51

I just don't understand sensitivity about your age. If someone asks me my age I tell them! I can't see what the big deal is!

LibrariesGaveUsP0wer Tue 06-Oct-15 16:35:56

What an odd thing to seem put out over, given the context confused

squoosh Tue 06-Oct-15 16:37:49

I'll never understand why some people are coy about revealing their age.

sproketmx Tue 06-Oct-15 16:40:45

Or maybe..... he was a bit of a dork or a dickhead at school and didn't want you realising who he was?

JessicaTreuhaft Tue 06-Oct-15 18:07:43

I can tell you that I had a personal experience of this from the other side and I dodged the question because I did not want the person to remember me from back then. I was a stubborn hot headed teenager and me then bears no similarity to who I am now as a much happier nicer adult. Perhaps he, like me, was a twat at school and preferred you like him as he is now! Clamming up is exactly the sort of awkward silly thing I would do too!!

have you forgotten? he was the guy you snogged every lunchtime behind the bike sheds for a full term shock

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