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AIBU?

To think that a double standard applies to cock size?

141 replies

Babycham1979 · 04/10/2015 20:25

Sorry in advance, this is a thread about a thread. On the sex forum, there was a discussion about whether you can assess a guy's cock size based on any other part of his body (of course you can't).

However, it strikes me that the way women discuss men's dicks would be considered utterly unacceptable if the sexes were reversed. Surely, a big cock is no different to a tight vagina (and a small one, a very loose vagina), but if men regularly and publicly made jokes about, or compared women's tightness/looseness, they'd be strung up from the nearest lamppost.

AIBU?

OP posts:
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usual · 04/10/2015 20:27

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QuickNameChanger · 04/10/2015 20:30

YABU. Its sexual politics innit. Men have the power in our society sexually speaking so disparaging them is not the same as disparaging women who have little power. Simples.

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BolshierAryaStark · 04/10/2015 20:31

Nope

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slugseatlettuce · 04/10/2015 20:32

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LadyDeirdreWaggon · 04/10/2015 20:33

YANBU, I often think the same thing.

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spanisharmada · 04/10/2015 20:35

I don't agree with Quick for what it's worth, its a poor argument and doesn't really do anything to support women or feminism IMO.

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Pseudo341 · 04/10/2015 20:36

YANBU.

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Babycham1979 · 04/10/2015 20:39

Sorry, Quick, but that argument is the lamest get-out of the desperate. Why do people always use it to justify hypocrisy?

Small cocks generally feel crap for sex, as do baggy vaginas. Whys that not comparable? Why pretend it's anything to do with years of supposed oppression?

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Muckogy · 04/10/2015 20:39

some men already make disparaging comments about women's breast size, nipple size, backsides, tightness of vaginas, facial features, weight, skin, hair, arms, legs, often openly. in fact no stone, in terms of a women's physicality, is left unturned by some men.

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usual · 04/10/2015 20:46

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ShebaShimmyShake · 04/10/2015 20:48

Men make revolting judgmental comments about women all the time, frequently in our hearing range and telling us it's a compliment. (Not all men, obviously, but enough for it to be a serious problem.) I'm having trouble getting wound up about a discussion of this nature on a Mumsnet forum.

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QuickNameChanger · 04/10/2015 20:49

People (or I) use this argument because the years of 'supposed oppression' are not supposed. Very real and still happening. Sexual oppression of women is and has always been wide spread (from rape/trafficking/genital mutilation to male editors controlling images and comments about womens bodies in the media) Men just haven't been exposed to the same level of sexual abuse and control at all. Context is entirely different.

(Disclaimer - that is men as a gender not as individuals.)

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AuntieStella · 04/10/2015 20:49

I thought that (a bit), but the thread - at the time I read it - was talking only about whether you can tell size of one body part from the size of others.

And the consensus then was that there was no predictable correlation - any more than there was eg height to breast size.

So unless that thread has taken a weird turn, it's an example of an OK discussion.

I remember other threads about penis size being deleted. Because it's something the man can do nothing about, and sexual insult based on body type makes for very unpleasant reading.

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EatShitDerek · 04/10/2015 20:51

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TheStripyGruffalo · 04/10/2015 20:54

Comments about either are shallow. Who gives a fuck what size cock a man has? Other things are far more important.

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ShebaShimmyShake · 04/10/2015 20:55

No, it's not ok, but once again nobody bats an eye when men do it but suddenly moralise when women do (and in general, to a much lesser extent). That's the real issue that concerns me more. This reminds me of the thread about the woman who outed the man who harassed her on LinkedIn. A bit of lip service to 'oh well obviously he wasn't very nice either' but generally he was left alone and she was pilloried for not taking his sexist shit in silence. A few people - on Mumsnet of all places, and who apparently weren't fully braindead - even castigated her for posting a 'sexy' photo (of her face, in a high-necked black top) on her business linking network profile, or posting a photo at all, because pretty women should have the decency to make themselves invisible.

No, I don't care about women on a female dominated forum asking whether you can assess a man's penis size by looking at the rest of him. It may not be a paragon of morality (little as I care) but it's not a major issue in society.

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AuntieStella · 04/10/2015 20:57

Oh, did the thread turn into piss taking? Pity. It wasn't how it started out.

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RJnomaaaaaargh · 04/10/2015 20:59

I don't think anyone male or female should be judged on a physical characteristic.

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ragged · 04/10/2015 21:08

What kind of age is this, I stopped having conversation about this kind of thing when I was 14.

I recall boys quite liked joining in and looking mischievous no matter how the numbers compared. Talk about their willy of any size was fine by them. I am talking about daft teenagers

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DadWasHere · 04/10/2015 21:08

whether you can assess a guy's cock size based on any other part of his body (of course you can't).

No, in fact you can, in terms of length but apparently not in terms of girth, its just that all the 'old tales' of comparing foot/nose size were bunk.

Its shown by the size difference between the index finger and ring fingers. The closer they are in length to one another the smaller the mans penis, the bigger the difference the bigger his penis.

www.webmd.com/men/news/20110705/study-penis-size-linked-to-length-of-fingers

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Cloppysow · 04/10/2015 21:10

Em... lets see...

Fanny like a wizards sleeve

Like throwing a sausage up a tunnel

Fanny like a bucket

I'd kick her in the fanny, but i don't want to lose my shoe.

Should i go on?

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ShebaShimmyShake · 04/10/2015 21:11

They should not, RJ, of course not.

I'll admit my beef here. Something you should know about me is that I have massive tits. I mean they're freaking huge. I mean when I start breastfeeding, I am going to have to have them specially made because they will surpass an L cup (they very nearly have already). And I'm not big all over, which makes them look even more enormous. I'm completely average looking in all other regards, but my God do I have huge tits.

I've been regularly harassed, groped, followed and catcalled since I was 14. I'm now quite heavily pregnant and it still happens. When I talk about it, it is almost always downplayed, I am told to lighten up, told to stop bragging, told to dress differently (I don't dress provocatively unless I'm pursuing my kinkster activities, not that it should matter if I do - however I don't wear high necks because they make them look EVEN BIGGER), etc etc etc etc.

When do I hear about double standards and things being unfair? When women sometimes have drunken hen parties and yell things, or have a crass internet discussion.

Of course nobody should be judged or made fun of or harassed. Of course not. But you'll forgive me my frustration when, after years and years of this fucking shit in real life, and having it downplayed when it happens to me, I'm always expected to be the bigger person and get far more annoyed when women act badly to an extent that doesn't even begin to touch the shit I go through endlessly, to the extent of sometimes fearing for my safety, and always being told it's not as bad as I think it is.

If you think that thread is nasty, just check out the manosphere, PUA websites, player discussions, etc etc etc. My God, if that thread offended you, you ain't seen NOTHING, my friend.

OP is right there is a double standard, but it's not what she thinks it is and that's why I get pissed off.

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usual · 04/10/2015 21:15

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NewMrsX · 04/10/2015 21:18

Yanbu. It's so sad that people in general are judged over physical characteristics they have no control over

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DiscoGoGo · 04/10/2015 21:18

I am also surprised to hear that it is unacceptable for men to comment on women's bodies including their vaginas.

The first thing that sprang to mind was robbie williams joking that seeing his wife give birth was like seeing his favourite pub burn down.

Which, whether you think it's funny or not, was a joke that was aired on the TV. So, not a massive outcry, no stringing up that I spotted. Well apart from a few women on MN saying "hold on that's not very nice!".

I have also heard men laughing and joking about women having capacious cunts, and in fact women as well now I think of it, but it's a bit different when women do it especially if they're laughing about themselves.

Anyway. So, 2 wrongs don't make a right. But the premise - that men whether in real life or on the internet don't make these types of comments (HA!) and if they did they'd be string up (HAHAHAHAHHA!) is incorrect I'm afraid. They can and they do and no-one says much of anything about it really.

Go onto a male dominated websites and find men talking about women and their bodies and sex. You think they will be more respectful than women are on MN on the occasional threads where this sort of thing comes up? Seriously?

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