WIBU To Take All the Straws off DD?

[Lostallsanity]

Dd1 is 5.5 Dd2 is 3.

Whilst I was out shopping today , I picked them up some silly straws and some plastic jewellery .

There were 5 straws in the pack . I asked each dd to pick their favourite and that would be their own straw. I said they could share the rest.

Dd2 picked her straw and said thank you .

Dd1 went on and on about how she couldn't choose her favourite , she wanted two ! I said she could pick one and share the rest .

She kept taking the straws out my hand , hugging them and doing her awful fake tantrum cry . Shaking herself and legs in anger and insisting she wanted two

I told her I was starting to get cross , her behaviour was rude and her 3 year old sister had picked one , so she had to too . She still wanted two - she even tried to make a "deal" where both straws would be hers , but she would only use one today.

In the end , I told her to put both of the straws back and she would have none .
Obviously a tantrum erupted .

She then decided she could pick her favourite and reluctantly took one straw , but cried about it .

Later in the day , I got out the pack of bracelets when they were playing dressing up . All the bracelets in the pack were the same . Both girls picked a bracelet and seemed happy .

A few minutes later , dd1 came to me and said her bracelet had a bit of plastic sticking up (it was just the edge of the bracelet , not sharp and all the bracelets had the same but on ) . Dd1 asked for a different bracelet .

I said the bracelets were the same , they had been put away and we weren't picking a different one right now as it was almost time for dinner .

She again , went on and on about it and then chucked her bracelet across the floor

At this point , I picked up the bracelet and put it away , telling her there was no bracelet for rude behaviour .

I explained to her why her behaviour was rude and it was bad manners to ask for more when you are offered something .

She is going to her first ever party next week and I am petrified I'm going to have the child who behaves like a brat when the party bags are given out

Did I handle this ok? WIBU?

[FattyNinjaOwl]

Ywnbu. You handled it perfectly fine as far as I can tell. The fake cry would have seriously annoyed me. DS went through a stage of doing that. It's very frustrating as you know they are just trying to get their own way, but want the noise to stop!

[laffymeal]

You did the right thing. She's just testing boundaries and seeing how far she can push her own way and get more than her wee sister. She'll behave like an angel at the party

[DisappointedOne]

According to a book I was reading yesterday, 5.5-6.5 is a massive period of disequilibrium for children. So this sort of shit isn't going to stop anytime soon. Sorry.

[LittleMissIntrovert]

You handled it very well, it doesn't get any better I'm afraid, DS2 just turned 8 and is still very good at tantrums

[MinecraftWonder]

Ds2 is 5.5 and this sounds like fairly typical behaviour to me.

He also does a fake cry which sets my teeth on edge. I think you handled it perfectly, you just need to stay firm so that she realises what the boundaries are and that tantrumming won't get her her own way.

[fulldutypaid]

You did great.

State what you're doing and carry it through.

You get nothing for a tantrum, absolutely nothing. Leave the child to it. They soon learn not to.

Of course every now and again they try it on. Repeat and leave them to it

[nokidshere]

Love how they can have a huge tantrum about the smallest of things!

I would have just given them all though - if I bought a pack of 5 of anything I tell my boys (even now at 14 & 17) two each for you and one for mum

[Flomple]

YWNBU. ideally maybe offer a clear choice before it kicks off too much - you can choose one nicely or have none of your own, which do you choose?

I wonder if it was something like her sister chose the one she wanted, and maybe she felt cross about that or she remembered her sister choosing first at some random point in the past too, and thought her own turn was well overdue or something. My DS (6) often kicks off for seemingly random reasons but there is often an incredibly complicated, but flawed logic in his head that he doesn't even begin tell us. It's tough being 6.

I bet she'll be fine at the party. Just pre-warn her that not all parties have party bags / balloons / party tea, but they are all still lots of fun and a big treat.

[grumpysquash]

Perfectly handled IMO! My DS used to be exactly the same, always trying to negotiate on extras. A hard line on 'choose one now or have none' was the only way. And if there was a fuss, I used to say that if he didn't think he could enjoy what he was offered, then he might as well say 'no thank you'.

For what its worth, the delaying tactics "I can't choose", " I like both of these so much" did actually in RL get him extra things (e.g. at the barber when they give out lollies at the end of the haircut. The number of times the barber said "oh well, have both the red and the green then"....it just reinforced that it works :() And once he got an extra lolly because he made them laugh when he asked if he could have an Afro (he has straight flat mid brown hair). But for ages after at home, he tried to say funny things, then ask for two of whatever was on offer.