To think I hit my husband with a door in a perfectly reasonable fashion?

(121 Posts)
HoneyDragon Mon 28-Sep-15 21:02:17

Dh came into the kitchen/diner from the living room and decided to pour a glass of wine. Rather than walk around the bench he opts to lean over the table pushed against the bench from the dining room side, resulting in him standing directly in front of the main door into the kitchen from the hallway pouring his wine.

I came downstairs and walked into the kitchen and hit him with the door, thoroughly splashing him in red wine too.

He was disgruntled when I politely enquired

"What the bleeding fuck are standing in front of the door for?"

I maintain if you stand consciously directly in front of a door you should not be surprised and disgruntled if another family member opens the door, and that he should walk the extra four foot into the kitchen and pour wine like a normal person.

He maintains it is perfectly acceptable to take the shortest route and that the door opener should be more careful.

I maintain that he was justly hit by a door for being a dimwit and I am wholly unreasonable.

<Disclaimer: my sympathy to those Mnetters that may have passed out from the sheer tedium of this post>

FarFromAnyRoad Mon 28-Sep-15 21:04:29

He got precisely what he deserved!

I like "What the bleeding fuck.............." which I intend to appropriate and use as my own from this moment hence!

goawayalready Mon 28-Sep-15 21:05:10

was there anyway you could have seen him through the door?

could he hear you walking down the stairs?

HoneyDragon Mon 28-Sep-15 21:07:49

The door is solid wood and no he wouldn't have heard me come down the stairs.

goodasitgets Mon 28-Sep-15 21:16:16

Perfectly reasonable. I was ironing in a galley kitchen, put the iron down and said "this is hot, be careful"
The reply was "obviously, what kind of idiot thinks it's cold"
As he leant over to put a teabag in the bin and singed his arm with a perfect V shape burn from the top of the iron
hmm

HoneyDragon Mon 28-Sep-15 21:19:42

Oh that's worse. Sarcasm then self singe....that's just all kinds of unreasonable

MissingPanda Mon 28-Sep-15 21:24:02

I maintain that he was justly hit by a door for being a dimwit and I am wholly unreasonable.

You may want to amend this slightly OP grin

HoneyDragon Mon 28-Sep-15 21:28:25

Arsebuckets

I am reasonable. REASONABLE. DAMNIT.

Garrick Mon 28-Sep-15 21:31:17

Tell him he's a silly sausage. I'm an expert, you can take my opinion as gospel smile

tibbawyrots Mon 28-Sep-15 21:32:49

what the bleeding fuck
arsebuckets

I intend to bring those into a sentence every day from now. grin

captaincake Mon 28-Sep-15 21:36:30

Is the wine ok?

sugar21 Mon 28-Sep-15 21:37:53

Why on earth was he standing behind a door BUT what is more concerning is the sheer awfulness of losing wine. This is extremely bad form
grin

AnnaMarlowe Mon 28-Sep-15 21:38:40

I would suggest a truce and two glasses of wine.

fififolle Mon 28-Sep-15 21:39:01

White or red? Did you stain him?
I think that you are perfectly reasonable.

RainbowRoses Mon 28-Sep-15 21:41:32

I laughed, it's his own fault.

FattyNinjaOwl Mon 28-Sep-15 21:41:49

grin

RainbowRoses Mon 28-Sep-15 21:42:49

*its his own fault for not pouring you a glass.
If he had poured you both a glass, he would not of been standing there, it's Karma grin

Passmethecrisps Mon 28-Sep-15 21:43:25

Was he pouring your wine?

If so he is doubly daft for taking such risks

NorksAreMessy Mon 28-Sep-15 21:47:16

arsebuckets
For that alone YANBU

HoneyDragon Mon 28-Sep-15 21:51:08

MY wine was in the kitchen properly. (I'm tee total mines magical boozeless wine)

HIS wine was in the stupid place.

I may see if I can do a diagram.

Hang on.

WandaFuca Mon 28-Sep-15 21:52:11

captaincake - grin

HoneyDragon Mon 28-Sep-15 22:00:24

The wine was fine, apart from what went on the floor and dog. We had a brief spell of mourning then resumed bickering like nine year olds debating.

<---------diagram of wine locations

CalliopeTorres Mon 28-Sep-15 22:05:22

Love the diagram grin

Sagethyme Mon 28-Sep-15 22:06:55

Oh no i've just spurted tea through my nose by laughing! Love the diagram honey

EatShitDerek Mon 28-Sep-15 22:08:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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