Please give me your views. Been with new man for about 18 months. He is self employed and that comes with it's issues I'm sure. However, he seems to lurch from one financial crisis to another. I have done his account for free for the last year and got it all pretty much sorted. Invoicing up to date etc etc. However, I don't know what goes on with his bank account. I don't have access obviously so have no idea who has paid or hasn't. But that's not really my remit. However, clearly he doesn't manage his finances at all well. He doesn't have debt as such but doesn't have much spare cash. I can live with that. Up to a few weeks ago we lived a sort of half in half our relationship. He was here more than not so I wrote to working tax credits people and local council and said I was was no longer singe parent so did not need single person discount on council tax and working tax credits any more. the correct and honest thing to do I guess. up to this point we had an arrangement that I paid the monthly bills and he paid for all food and petrol for cars and other add hock items now and again. But a few weeks ago he got stung by his own his son. He did some work for him (who is also in the same line of business) and he never paid him. The upshot was no money for food or fuel and no I now discover he doesn't have any money to pay a huge tax bill in two months time. On top of that his (grown up) kids keep tapping him for money and not paying it back. They all live on the edge of the law, non tax paying individuals with a passion for getting into debt an not paying their way. This is now starting to impact on our (my) standard of living. A few weeks ago I said that I was not going to be compromised financially while his kids spunked all their money and then came to him which in turn resulted in him not being able to pull his weight here. I divvied up the household costs and said that is what you will give me each month or week regardless of what is going on. Fair enough he agreed and started to pay. But it continues. His son's are still doing things that will get him into trouble. He promised a few weeks ago that he would try to not do business with his family any longer. He doesn't need to. He's well known in the area and trusted by all his customers. I have just discovered that his sons are doing work without the correct licence but using their dad's licence number to certify said work and registering him as the licensed engineer that carried out the work. Also they did a job for a less desirable individual and fiddled the invoice and said individual is now trying to extract a huge amount of cash from my partner because the son used his license number to to the job. Said individual is now threatening to "smash up the place". Police and liaison officers are now involved. My man told his son not to do the work because he knew what he was like but son ignored in and did it anyway. I feel really angry at all of them. Am about to ask him to leave. He is a lovely bloke, and would, in the main, do anything for me, but be responsible for his own welfare. But i have to preserve my own welfare. Luckily there is no joint issues financially. But of course the heartache. I love him but really can't, as responsible citizen with a government job, be involved with people that live so outside the law. Am I being unreasonable in telling him to leave? This is not new to him, the arguments about the risky business behaviour started about May this year but I've not felt anything I've said has got through.
Your views please. And thanks for reading this little lot.
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13 replies
DearestMommy · 26/09/2015 13:44
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LindyHemming ·
27/09/2015 01:35
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LindyHemming ·
28/09/2015 04:07
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