Talk

Flip

AIBU?

To want to be anti social and not bother with people for ONE week?

12 replies

Esmee83 · 22/09/2015 15:29

My ds has started school full time last Thirsday (so this is his first full week being there all day), he has additional needs, these are currently undiagnosed, we are fighting for diagnosis but any how it doesn't mean his needs are any less if you get what I mean. Anyway due to ds's behaviour this last year I'm now on anti depressants due to feeling low and having high anxiety levels.

I've been a sahm to ds for three years and as you can imagine it's been hard going at times so him starting full time was something I was looking forward to. I've been feeling so poorly lately that I need to recharge my batteries so I told my family (nicely) that I just want to test this week whilst ds is at school, and without meaning to come across as ignorant, that I want to be by myself, and they said that was fine. But low and behold I've had my brothers sisters, and parents round nearly everyday. I honestly love them all but AIBU to just expect some alone time for one week?

OP posts:

Report

OurBlanche · 22/09/2015 15:33

Tell them again, in words of one syllable

Much as I love you I need to be on my own for a while. So, all of you, do not come round here next week. Not one day. Not one hour. No time at all. Thank you.

Report

Esmee83 · 22/09/2015 16:17

If I tell them straight, mainly my sister and my mum they get a mood on thinking that I'm just being nasty or that I can't be arsed with them. The rest of my family aren't quite as bad. They don't know that I'm on anti depressants but they're not stupid, they see when they come round that I'm low and that's it's a huge effort to just get through the day doing every day things yet they come round constantly but don't actually do anything to help, they can't even sit and watch my son for five minutes whilst I make THEM a cuppa!

OP posts:

Report

OurBlanche · 22/09/2015 16:22

OK. So having time to yourself isn't as important as keeping your mum and sister happy?

I appreciate it isn't easy, but maybe letting them think whatever the hell they like and taking time for yourself is the right thing for you right now

Report

AChickenCalledKorma · 22/09/2015 16:23

Don't answer the door? And if they ask why not, tell them you were asleep.

Report

Bottlecap · 22/09/2015 16:32

Goodness, it sounds as though your sister and mother have no self-awareness.

Send a nice text and make yourself unavailable. It's really not a big deal. People do this all the time.

Report

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 22/09/2015 16:46

Can you pretend you're going away for a few days? Extreme perhaps but I used to have to do this with my mother (now nc but that's another thread!).

Report

Ragwort · 22/09/2015 16:51

Don't answer the door/if you have to just say you are going straight out/arrange to meet at their house and then cancel /say you are doing a home study course and need peace and quiet.

Learn to be assertive. .

Report

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 22/09/2015 16:51

YANBU

Stop putting other people before yourself.

If they get in a mood, let them. You are not responsible for everyone else's happiness.

Report

anotherbloomingusername · 22/09/2015 17:11

I do know what you mean about just needing time alone. I feel like that a lot. Can you develop a terribly contagious illness for a week?

Report

horsewalksintoabar · 22/09/2015 19:21

oh I feel for you! I just am a hermit by nature and always require periods of time when I just don't communicate. I wonder if your family thinks they're being supportive of you (if they're aware of your depression). But many people don't understand depression and they think you need companionship when actually, you need to breathe and now is your time to do just that.
Do you know what? Just say you're doing some day trips with school mums or people they don't know and won't meet. No one likes to lie but it's the less hurtful approach and it will give you those days to yourself that you desperately need without having the extra burden of actually having to tell them you need space. That sounds like it would be too difficult a talk to have. Make it easy on yourself, fib a little, and get those days alone.

Report

ohtheholidays · 22/09/2015 20:20

Tell them you have the lurgy,flu,bad stomach,anything that will keep them away for the week but that won't mean any of them offering(insisting)on looking after you.