to think DP is disgusting for doing this?

(121 Posts)
FishFace99 Sat 19-Sep-15 10:47:29

I have suffered from OCD in the past so I'm aware I could be overreacting here and your perspective will be taken on board.

DP does (or fails to do) a number of things which I see as disgusting, but he thinks I'm being a nag and there's no issue. For example, in the past 24 hrs:

I asked him to run a bath for the kids. He knows I always clean it first but thinks that's unnecessary. It hasn't been cleaned for a week because we've all had showers all week, but the shower is over the bath so I think it needs cleaning because there are hairs etc from showering. He then takes the baby's nappy off and puts her straight in the bath even though she's done a poo. The other dc are asking to get out because there's bits of poo floating around, DP shouts at them when they say he should have wiped baby first saying the point of the bath is to clean her.

He uses the same cloth we use for the highchair and worktops to wipe the floor and bin.

He doesn't use a sponge or cloth to wash up, just dunks things and gives it a quick rub with his fingers.

He doesn't wash baby's hands before giving her food.

He doesn't think 3 yo needs to wash her hands after going to the toilet.

Last night we had our dog, cats, rabbits and chickens out in the back garden who obviously all poo. DP put the crawling baby on the lawn this morning to crawl around without doing anything about the poo. I just arrived to find her putting grass with chicken poo in her mouth.

I could go on. Aibu to think he is disgusting?

JoanFerguson Sat 19-Sep-15 10:48:33

I think he's actually a bit neglectful tbh

TooOldForGlitter Sat 19-Sep-15 10:50:45

YANBU. I'm not going to pick out the couple of things that I think are totally unnecessary because actually, the things that he does are pretty gross and i'd be pretty pissed off too, and i'm very lax about hygiene..

Kim82 Sat 19-Sep-15 10:50:55

Yep, all of those things are disgusting - especially the poo floating in the bath and letting the baby crawl around outside surrounded by poo. I'd be going mental if dh did that.

TheWitTank Sat 19-Sep-15 10:50:58

Yes, he is disgusting. The bath poo thing made me feel ill, poor kids! Who wants to sit in a bath full of floating shits?! It would make me question his personal hygiene and if I would want him touching me at all to be honest. Grim.

Gruntfuttock Sat 19-Sep-15 10:51:02

Yuk. That really is disgusting.

SewSlapdash Sat 19-Sep-15 10:51:41

With the exception of cleaning the bath, all of those are pretty disgusting. My DH doesn't understand that there should be a different cloth for the floor either.

SillyOldElfBackToYourself Sat 19-Sep-15 10:51:51

Well I am far from a domestic goddess but that has made me feel a bit sick.
The poo in the bath is disgusting!

Vixxfacee Sat 19-Sep-15 10:53:22

He sounds lazy and dirty.

Floggingmolly Sat 19-Sep-15 10:53:40

Yes, by anybody's standards he is bloody revolting envy. Some of those things are an actual health hazard, tbh; you really need to have a word.

FarFromAnyRoad Sat 19-Sep-15 10:54:03

My hygiene standards are practically in the gutter and I'd have a problem with some of that! Poo floaters is the worst I think but none of it's particularly good.
I'm truly not convinced you need to wash the bash before every use - you're certainly not going to catch cooties off the odd stray hair!

DonkeyOaty Sat 19-Sep-15 10:55:15

Grim. Yanbu.

Any good points?

whatdoIget Sat 19-Sep-15 10:55:15

Horrible and unhygienic. No wonder you had ocd. Is he doing it on purpose or does he genuinely not know anything about basic hygiene?

FishFace99 Sat 19-Sep-15 10:55:31

Also he's been using the same towel for at least three weeks and thinks bed covers only need changing once every three months or so.

RJnomaaaaaargh Sat 19-Sep-15 10:55:51

I don't think you're over reacting at all and I'm a slathers.

OrderofWork Sat 19-Sep-15 10:57:03

After the first one, about cleaning the bath before use I thought it was going to be you, but omg, even by my lax standards he's grim.

KoalaDownUnder Sat 19-Sep-15 10:57:42

I'd give the bath a quick slosh around and rinse, not a full clean, so I'm not fussed by that one.

The rest of it? Foul

(And I'm not remotely germaphobic - never use antibac sprays etc)

OrderofWork Sat 19-Sep-15 10:58:16

How on earth did the two of you end up together? grin

KoalaDownUnder Sat 19-Sep-15 10:58:26

Also he's been using the same towel for at least three weeks and thinks bed covers only need changing once every three months or so.

Nooooooo. Revolting.

standclear Sat 19-Sep-15 10:58:36

No OP, your past ocd is definitely not making you over-react.

I think most people would definitely give the bath a quick clean before climbing in (especially if it hadn't been cleaned for a week and is above shower).

Absolutely unhygienic to not clean poo off baby thoroughly before putting her in the bath with other dc.

I use the same j-cloth to clean kitchen surfaces and bin but they get changed every two days (and rinsed in bleach in between). And I keep my bin pretty clean! Would never, ever mix surface cloths with those used for floor though.

Wierd not to use a sponge or cloth to wash up imo, why would you not do this?

Children's hands of course should be washed after they go to the loo (to teach them good habits in addition to actually keeping them clean).

And yes, also really bad idea to let baby crawl amongst animal poo (although like the sound of all your animals op!)

Is he just lazy, or was he never taught how to clean properly or manage basic household tasks? By the sound of your post, he is not very open to learning.

Could you get a dishwasher by any chance? That would take away one problem at least.

NotTodaySatan Sat 19-Sep-15 10:59:30

He's rancid.

Has he always been like this and if so, why the feck are you with him??

I give out to DP for using an already dirty sponge to do the dishes which is bad enough.

liletsthepink Sat 19-Sep-15 10:59:40

YANBU and I'm very relaxed about hygiene. Ask him if he would like to have a bath with bits of baby poo floating around?

Is he just very lazy or is he actually too ignorant to be looking after the DC?

MrsBojingles Sat 19-Sep-15 11:00:06

Boak. YANBU. He's grim!

TheBunnyOfDoom Sat 19-Sep-15 11:01:13

Ewww. That's foul.

DylanNells Sat 19-Sep-15 11:01:44

When I read the thread title I was expecting to come on and say yabvu, lighten up woman! But that is pretty much all completely grim.

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