To go back to work?

(15 Posts)
Fishfingersfortea1 Tue 15-Sep-15 08:21:51

Morning all.
I have been a SAHM for the last five years and run my own business at the same time, not made vast amounts of cash but enough to keep me in small luxuries. My clients have recently gone bust so the pipeline of work is looking a bit thin. cash is very tight at the moment.
A couple of months ago I saw a job advertised, part time, half a regular post.
I applied and was offered it, it's bit our of my comfort zone but I think I can cope (just!)
This will mean that my 5 yr old DS will have to be picked up and dropped off at school by neighbours and grandad, there is also a breakfast/ after school club as an option. The hours of the job mean he'll have to be dropped off two times a week and picked up three times.
My Ds has just gone into yr1 and is crying at drop off, says the work is too hard, he's young for the year and wants to be with me basically. His reading and writing is non existent and he gets frustrated about it and refuses to try.
My DH says that I should I should get the job to change my hours so that I can always either pick up or drop off so as to minimise impact on DS, but this might mean I lose the job offer.
Thoughts please, I'm really wondering if I should just forget it.

TimeToMuskUp Tue 15-Sep-15 08:26:57

I think if your DH is concerned with you always being there to drop off and collect DS, I'd be asking him which days he plans to do the school run so that you can work.

Awful as it sounds, if I were you I'd go for the job. It doesn't sound as though it will impact negatively on your DS; he's just having a rough patch at the minute, and even if you don't take the job he'll still have to go to school and not be with you. If it doesn't work out, you can take some time away and go back to work later, but I don't see how it can hurt you to try.

CheddarGorgeous Tue 15-Sep-15 08:29:43

YANBU. Take the job. Speak to DS's teacher and get your DH to step up.

AliMonkey Tue 15-Sep-15 08:30:06

Well firstly the trauma at drop off is likely to be short-lived so it would be silly to not take the job for that reason. If you are still going to be dropping off / picking up half the time then that still gives you plenty of time with him and to help him with his learning if needed. My DC are in breakfast and after school club 3dpw and actually when things at school have been hard the stability of those two things has helped (as same staff year on year) and the mixing with children of other ages has been good for them. Time with grandad would also I suspect be a positive thing. Once you've been in the job a while then you might be able to ask to tweak your hours but probably best not to do so straight away unless would only be a minor change. Finally, if your DH is so concerned then why doesn't he change his hours?

Fishfingersfortea1 Tue 15-Sep-15 08:31:21

Thanks Time,
DH does a job where he can't get away from work at all, I have to do everything school related unless it's evening.

AgentProvocateur Tue 15-Sep-15 08:31:32

I agree with TimeToMuskUp. And if I were your new employer, I wouldn't be impressed with you asking to change hours before you've even started. I think when one parent starts a new job, the other one should pick up the child-related slack, including staying at home with sick DC, for at least six months. This way, the parent in the new job can build up some goodwill and prove him/her self.

AgentProvocateur Tue 15-Sep-15 08:32:35

I took too long to post - didn't see your latest update, OP.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar Tue 15-Sep-15 08:33:56

You can always ask about the flexibility of the hours. If they say it's not possible, then consider how much you need the job/money and how likely you are to find another that's as suitable as this one. If you need the money and you don't think there's'sa more suitable job just around the corner, id take it. Your family needs the money, ds will be dropped off and picked up by people he knows and he'll likely settle in just fine - lots of people work ft and/or have a long commute which means they can't do drop off and pick up and dcs survive smile

incidentally, if dh thinks it's very important for you to be there for drop offs, can he do some? He doesn't seem to have considered changing his own hours to fit this in?

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar Tue 15-Sep-15 08:35:21

X post!

ilovesooty Tue 15-Sep-15 08:39:24

I'd take the job but I'd be asking your husband how he plans to share the cover for child sickness etc. Surely he doesn't expect your new employer to shoulder the load entirely?

CheddarGorgeous Tue 15-Sep-15 08:41:21

What's your DH's job? How do other people who work there manage? He has a right to ask for flexible working as much as you.

Spartans Tue 15-Sep-15 08:42:17

It's ok saying your dhs job means he can't get away, but he is the one expecting you to ask to change your hours on job you haven't started for your ds. Why can't he apply for flexible working? Or help out at least a bit?

I also wonder if your ds will actually be better if you are not there. I have friends whose children have been terrible at drop off, but when the grandparents drop them off they are fine.

I would enquire about flexibility of the hours they have given you. If they are set on the hours you need to do, I would take the job and see how it goes. Your ds may well be fine.

Fishfingersfortea1 Tue 15-Sep-15 09:01:15

Thanks for your thoughts everyone, I was really having a job thinking what to do last night.
DHis a secondary teacher in a town about 40 mins drive away. The one evening a week he has meetings after work is one of the days I want to work so that's making it worse too.

Moopsboopsmum Tue 15-Sep-15 09:39:33

I'm in a similar situation and I don't think there is an easy answer. I would take the job and pack it in if it isn't working for your family. Then at least you tried!

CheddarGorgeous Tue 15-Sep-15 10:13:48

That is tough. Does he have any gaps in his timetables? A few secondary teachers I know manage one or two school runs a week.

At least you'll be ok for holiday cover.

I would start the job and once there, see what flexibility you have.

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