My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

to be fed up of feeling poor?

66 replies

manicmother02 · 06/09/2015 06:51

Hey, just having a moan really. I work part time and my partner works full time, we have two kids. We both work in care, and at the end of the month have no money left... We have enough to cover our bills but not enough to save anything.

We want to move somewhere cheaper to live but cant as we cant save! Its just bloody crap. I'm changing my job to try and up my hours so we can get more money but its hard with the children. They are in primary school so not old enough to be alone after school ect.... It just sucks. We would love to get married and go on holidays.

I'm waiting to see if we can get tax credits just so we can save some money.

I know its not really a huge problem...we have a roof over our heads and food on the table....but its hard when it seems like everyone else is well off!

Thanks for letting me have a moan.

OP posts:
Report
TheHouseOnTheLane · 06/09/2015 07:34

YANBU. Have you never had tax credits before though? You sound like you've been missing out on what you're entitled to.

Report
Charis1 · 06/09/2015 07:46

well, feeling poor is easily remedied, just spend a bit of time with people who have no roof over their head, and no way of guaranteeing their next meal, and you will feel like a millionaire!

Report
Bullshitbingo · 06/09/2015 07:53

Well I'm usually very much a count your blessings type, but have some compassion charis even I know how grindingly depressing being on the bones of your arse can be!
If you don't have even a little money for some of the pleasures in life it can feel like there's bugger all point to anything. Cake and Flowers op.

Report
Charis1 · 06/09/2015 07:57

yes i know, I've been there, I was saying what worked for me in that situation.

Report
duggiecustard · 06/09/2015 07:57

If you work in care there are 24/7 shifts. Can't you just work full time round each other?

Report
Bullshitbingo · 06/09/2015 07:58

Also, without wanting to sound patronising, are you totally wedded to care work? Is it your vocation or just what you do cos it's available? I say this because as noble as it may be - it is terribly paid.

I did some care work when younger but it was hard work for very little (financial) reward. Most places you will get much more for being a corporate receptionist than you will as a care worker. Not fair, but true. So if you're not doing it out of love, get yourself down to a temp agency with your cv and see what part time office work they've got. It may not get you into heaven but it might get you the odd mini-break or pay for a better Christmas for the kids Smile

Report
misscarlar · 06/09/2015 08:00

do you really have no money at all?
have you kept a spending diary
is there anywhere you could cut back - taking lunch to work instead of buying it, cycling to work instead of driving etc.
what are your outgoings? maybe for a few months you need to cancel stuff like tv packages if you have them

Report
CantAffordtoLive · 06/09/2015 08:00

I sympathise. I have not had enough hours at work last month to earn enough to live on. Not my fault, or my employers, the work just wasn't there :(

I am on my own, no one else's income to help out.

Report
misscarlar · 06/09/2015 08:05

CantAffordToLive - make sure your claiming any benefits your entitled to even if some months you don't qualify housing is calculated weekly even if you have to go in with a payslip once a month its worth doing

Report
CantAffordtoLive · 06/09/2015 08:09

Thank you misscarlar, I know I should but after my experience with trying to claim JSA, I honestly think it would be a waste of time. I have a little bit of money saved up and I am being very frugal. As much as I would not wish any infirmity or illness on anyone (I'm a carer) I am hoping things will improve. I did over 110 hours a month when I started so expect that things will pick up once again, soon!

Report
NationalTrustLadyGardens · 06/09/2015 08:38

Don't judge by appearances. Many people who appear well off and go on holidays are mortgaged up to the hilt and have massive credit card debts. Be proud that you live within your means Smile

Report
Lightbulbon · 06/09/2015 08:42

Is there no after school care you could use? With DCs in primary the childcare costs shouldn't be so prohibitive to stop you working full time. It's a reality of this age that it takes 2 parents working full time to have a decent lifestyle nowadays. So either look at splitting your shifts so one of you is at work and the other at home or research local childcare.

Report
manicmother02 · 06/09/2015 09:03

Unfortunately care work is really the only type of work around here.. I'm changing from a zero hour contract to a set amount which will help with knowing the min I will bring in each month. Overtime will then be bonus money.

My children's school dont do any breakfast or after school clubs...yet, fingers crossed they will. My dp and I already work opposite shifts, but he does 40 hours plus already.

Going to apply for everything going benefit wise, worse they can say is no.

Sent tax credit form off about two weeks ago so hopefully will here back soon.

I'm very frugal already....i have been taught well by my mother. Make alot of things from scratch, haven't had a takeaway for years....dont go out unless its to free things, dont take or buy lunch. Youngest gets free school meals, oldest doesn't get any anymore so has packed lunch.

I have to use my car for work at the mo, but that will change asap.
Thanks for your replies, and I do appreciate what I have.

OP posts:
Report
manicmother02 · 06/09/2015 09:04

And thanks for my cake and flowers Grin

OP posts:
Report
Hamiltoes · 06/09/2015 09:13

Have you thought about ways to make some extra money maybe from home? Ironing for example, you could try an add on gumtree and do that sitting in front of the TV when kids are in bed for a bit of extra money. Things like surveys, quidco etc all add up to make christmas a bit easier? Or try googling leapforce, I've heard this reccomended a few times, analysing search results? A bit mind numbing but I think it works out about £7 per hour if you have a PC/ laptop?

Hopefully the tax credits come through and take some of the pressure off. As a pp said its worth checking housing benefit too.

Report
BarbarianMum · 06/09/2015 09:15

YANBU but do work out a long term 'escape' plan. Care work is available everywhere (useful if you want to move) but terribly paid. Have you looked at moving in detail? Do you know where exactly you want to go, how much you'd need saved to move and how much you'd save in rent at the other end? Personally I have found planning helps me feel more in control of my life and therefore better about the crap times cause I'm plotting my 'escape'.

Report
Babyroobs · 06/09/2015 20:40

If you have 2 kids and your joint income is under £32k ( assuming no childcare costs as you don't mention childcare ) then you should get some help from tax credits. From next April the threshold will fall to around £26k for 2 kids I believe. In the longer term can you think about doing extra qualifications and one of you do Nurse training if that might be an option. Or if you need to both go full time you may alos get help from tax credits to put the kids in after school club / breakfast club. Could one of you do nights to get a better hourly rate perhaps? Hope things improve for you soon as it's horrible not being able to afford a few treats/ luxuries.

Report
Artandco · 06/09/2015 20:47

I think you need to do more hours each tbh. I know you say you did 110 hours in a month, but in comparison we do that as well as most people we know in two weeks (60+ hrs weeks). 40hrs that your dh does is almost part time also.

Could you both work 50hrs a week? So that's double for you, and 10 more for him, but 50hrs spread over 7 days isn't that full on either. If you wanted to try and work around school could one of you work evenings and weekends and the other in the day? Two 12hr shifts at the weekend each would cover half of that, leaving 26hrs across 5 days

Report
Babyroobs · 06/09/2015 20:54

I wouldn't consider 40 hours a week as part time !! Where I work 37.5 hours is considered full time

Report
JanetBlyton · 06/09/2015 20:58
  1. Could you hire an au pair for before and after school and move the children into your bed room and work full time.
  2. Have you tried working 6 or 7 days a week full time. We both did that at various times to ensure we could save.


Could you do babysitting on the nights your partner is in to mind the children or move in with parents for a year or two whilst you save even if you have to sleep on the sofas?
Report
MaidOfStars · 06/09/2015 20:58

40hrs that your dh does is almost part time also

WTActualF?

Report
Babyroobs · 06/09/2015 21:00

If these 'poor' people are to be working 60+ hours a week around each other, will they ever actually get a day off together to enjoy their increased income?

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

TinklyLittleLaugh · 06/09/2015 21:02

manic have you thought about retraining into nursing? You are obviously bright and have tons of experience. Would it be doable financially with the right bursaries and grants?

Report
Artandco · 06/09/2015 21:10

It wouldn't be 50- 60 hrs opposite times all the time as children in school 6 hrs a day. So 25-30hrs a week can be both working at the same time, the other hours one works before school starts the other after. Ie even just mon-fri 5am-3pm for one, 9am-7pm the other would require no childcare, and free weekends.

Report
Babyroobs · 06/09/2015 21:43

I think I would lose the will to live doing 60 hours a week particularly in care work which can be physically gruelling and mentally challenging. I guess some people may be able to cope with it though. However they would probably end up losing any entitlement to tax credits and possibly therefore not a lot better off.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.