Is this rude or am I overthinking it?

[Applesplease]

Having a small get together at the weekend to celebrate a birthday, with a few close friends and their children (just cake and wine, afternoon play in the garden). One friend replied that she was at work and then having her nails done so couldn't make it but were we in later for them to call in? I said yes we would stay in if she was going to come over with her dp. Now seen as she suggested coming later and asking if we would be in, you would assume she would come . She has just replied "won't promise but will try". What do I reply to that?

AIBU to be a bit annoyed with the reply? I don't want to stay in on the off chance she might come. If she wants to come over later that's great and we will stay in but otherwise we'll go out to dinner.

Anyone got a reply I could use?

[ImperialBlether]

Just say "If you're not able to come we'll go out for a meal - will be deciding at 6pm (or whenever) so text before setting off. Hope to see you xx"

[Boardingblues]

Reply "OK, but don't leave it too late as we are going out for dinner"

[ecuse]

"Won't promise to be in if you don't get a better offer, but will try"?

[CheddarGorgeous]

Mildly rude. Just tell her you need to know one way or another.

[3rdSymphony]

Just say, 'if you're not definite, let's do it another time, as we're going out for dinner.' Don't rearrange what you actually want for someone who is very likely not to show.

[emsyj]

"no worries, let us know for sure if you're coming by (time o'clock) as we'll wait in for you, otherwise we're off out for dinner - hope to see you Sat! Xx"

[ThighsofThunder]

Tbh I am the world's least confrontational person and even I would reply "'if you could let us know one way or the other that would be great, dh and I will need to book for dinner if you're not". Not in the slightest bit unreasonable, and yes she should of course make a commitment and not expect you to hang about waiting for her to grace you with her presence.

[Boardingblues]

You could add "Did you manage to find a better place to do you nails?" …. petty, I know….

[TurnOffTheTv]

I don't think it's that rude. I'd just text 'we'll be going out for dinner at 7pm so let me know if you're coming before, or you're welcome to join us for dinner'

[noiwontstoptalking]

Yes it is rude.

[Purplepoodle]

I would be replying 'decided we are going out for dinner, so will catch up at a later date'

[Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake]

'Could you me know for sure? Would love to see you but don't want to wait In if you're not coming'