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AIBU?

To be feeling a bit sorry for myself

20 replies

SauvignonBlanche · 31/08/2015 17:16

I have an important outpatients appointment tomorrow to discuss some surgery I really don't fancy.

DH came to the last appointment with me but missed the consultation as he was parking the car! At that appointment I agreed to go on the waiting list but as time went on I asked to come off the list for a bit, over the summer.
I've had this appointment letter stuck up on our fridge for several months.

DH announced last week that he has a second interview one day next week, of course, it's at the same time as my appointment though he scheduled it for then!

I can't get there on my own, as I can't drive, and can't really get the train as I'm on crutches. DH will have to drop me off 2 hours before my appointment in order to get to his interview on time.

I'm mostly upset as I wanted him to be with me, he did offer to reschedule the interview but he's been out of work for 6 months so I said 'no way'.

AIBU to feel a bit upset?

OP posts:

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Flossyfloof · 31/08/2015 17:30

To be brutally honest it can't really be that important to you if you put the appointment back. I have never heard of an interviewee choosing the timing of their interview. I would think it's pretty crucial that he attend.
You gave evidently waited weeks, a couple of hours isn't that long although I can see it would be inconvenient.

Flossyfloof · 31/08/2015 17:30

You have! Not you gave...

OurBlanche · 31/08/2015 17:32

YANBU to be upset. But this is probably one of those suck it up times.

Get him to drop you off, take a book, iPod etc. Then get him to join you / pick you up ASAP. Go out for a quiet drink/sandwich afterwards for you both to wind down.

Floralnomad · 31/08/2015 17:35

I think YABU , you have delayed this surgery already and presumably if you were on the waiting list have already had it discussed with you once - if I were in your situation I'd think it way more important that DH tried to get a job ,if the surgery was crucial you wouldn't have delayed it in the first place . I'd ring first thing and say you can't get there and get a different appt . Good luck to your DH for his interview .

SauvignonBlanche · 31/08/2015 17:37

Sorry, I thought I'd explained in my OP that I'm upset that he's not coming in to the appointment with me - again!

Two hours at the hospital is nothing, I spent a month there last year and I know where the best coffee shop is with bacon sandwiches.

I think I've put the appointment back because I'm scared, I had a bad time last time and this will be my fourth lot of brain surgery (I'm not making that up).

OP posts:

Slammerkins · 31/08/2015 17:45

YANBU. You know he would change the interview if you insisted though, but it's all got mixed in with the worry about the surgery.

londonrach · 31/08/2015 18:01

Op his interview is more important. Can you get a friend to come with you. Both of you good luck on the day xxx

SauvignonBlanche · 31/08/2015 19:01

I've left it too late to organise anything else, I certainly can't change the appointment as I've taken the day off work for it.

I agree that his interview is much more important, I can't even tell him how I feel as I don't want to sabotage him.

He was on the way to an interview when he called to wish me luck the first time I went to see the neurosurgeon (alone - again) and I blurted out over the phone that I had to have a brain tumour removed. I was in shock, in my defence.

It'll be fine.

OP posts:

QuietIsland2 · 31/08/2015 19:04

Sorry to hear you are going in again for more brain surgery. I was following your posts when you had your last surgery.

Lilaclily · 31/08/2015 19:08

Could someone else come with you ? A parent , inlaws, friend ?

SauvignonBlanche · 31/08/2015 19:34

Thanks QuietIsland2, I tried to keep most of my posts from that difficult time in Chat so they'd disappear, (forgot to do that today) and I name changed for a while but I'm fine now and back at work.

I only need the hole in my head fixing, I was being a wuss but I've had some now and I don't care anymore.

OP posts:

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 31/08/2015 19:37

sauvignon I think I get what you are saying, it is a major thing for you but probably you have played it down so DH thinks it is not such a big deal. I do this all the time, DH thinks he is supportive but truth is when I really need him he just isn't there, but tbh I don't make it clear to him that I want / need him there as I trying not to stress / worry him. You either need to accept you are on your own for this bit, seek help elsewhere, or tell him exactly how scared you are and how much you need him. Now is not the time to be a martyr if you need him... you need him, end of, and al else is just insignificant, even a job interview. best of wishes for your appointment whatever happens.

SauvignonBlanche · 31/08/2015 20:07

You've hit the nail on the head there EcclesCakes, he'd drop everything if I asked him to but I want him to get a job!
I'll be absolutely fine on my own, it's just sometimes good to have someone to discuss things with afterwards.
I'll take my iPad and enjoy the peace.

OP posts:

Lilaclily · 31/08/2015 20:10

Aw pet for you xx

QuietIsland2 · 31/08/2015 20:19

I think I had a tulip related name Sauv. Glad it's only the hole that needs to be closed. I hope I didn't come across as a stalker! I remembered you for your grace under pressure!

SauvignonBlanche · 31/08/2015 20:43

Thank you.
I'll remember that tomorrow morning, this operation will be just a scratch compared to some of the others.

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SauvignonBlanche · 01/09/2015 19:16

DH got lost between his interview location and the hospital so I had to insist he threw me out (at a garage just past a minicab office) so he had plenty of time to get back to the interview.

I got to the hospital an hour and a half early (had a lovely breakfast ) but the good news was the clinic ended up running an hour late so DH got back to the hospital 5 minutes before I was called in.

The Neurosurgeon wanted to operate next month but I said that was too soon, I need to sort work out but left with a date agreed for this year!

And guess what? DH got a call this afternoon - HE GOT THE JOB!!

OP posts:

QuietIsland2 · 01/09/2015 19:32

Congrats to you both!

LadyDeirdreWaggon · 01/09/2015 19:47

Bloody well done the pair of you!

twirlypoo · 01/09/2015 19:50

Ahh congratulations for you both! Fabulous news

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