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Hen Do Planning

76 replies

Fluffy24 · 27/08/2015 20:04

I have been getting in knots over my sister's hen do and worrying about pleasing everyone, and -knowing what sort of theme my sister would like - am veering towards doing the following on a 'here's what we're doing, take it or leave it' basis - please reassure me it's not totally U or else critique.

  1. Day part - spa day at nice hotel, afternoon tea and champagne. Probably cost £200/head but those who want could take a room for the night.
  2. Early evening part - an activity grannies etc can participate in - so could be stand alone bit of the event for some relatives or friends who can't afford the spa but don't want to do night out. Probably cost £25/head.
  3. Dinner and cocktails somewhere sophisticated. Probably Audrey Hepburn theme like LBDs and sunglasses on basis everyone either had a LBD or its reasonable for them to get one as they'll likely wear it again. Probably £50/head to include a few cocktails.


It'll be a surprise for bride, but will book her a room at hotel that she'll probably share with her BF and means there's somewhere to get ready to go out for those doing spa day, probably not be more than about 5 of us including bride for that.

What am I missing?
OP posts:
EatDessertFirst · 27/08/2015 20:27

Sounds nice if a bit OTT IMO but do be prepared for people to drop out as altogether its A LOT of money.

You have considered all ages etc so if you can afford it, go for it.

sooperdooper · 27/08/2015 20:30

Sounds lovely but very expensive and I wouldn't go to all of it, will it be close to where you live do people can go just to one part of they want?

Patapouf · 27/08/2015 20:30

Seems quite expensive. Would your sister rather have a fancy day or be surrounded by everyone she wants there? Not everyone will be able to afford it...

lunar1 · 27/08/2015 20:34

Just go for a meal and drink. If you want an expensive spa hotel just do that yourself with her. There is bound to be someone close to her that can't afford it and will feel rubbish. And the cost will somehow end up more than you think, for a start someone will say oooh we should all chip in for the bride and nobody will want to say they can't afford to. I've no idea why these things have to be so ott.

whattodohatethis · 27/08/2015 20:35

I wouldn't go to such an expensive hen do.

Does sound lovely, but I wouldn't go

Chottie · 27/08/2015 20:36

Sounds lovely, but really expensive, I would be thinking twice about going too.

Laquila · 27/08/2015 20:36

For me, that would be too pricey, but it sound a nice if you're preapred to pay!

Have you considered having the spa day bit in a town/city so that aunties and grannies could join for afternoon tea and then you could go out there that evening?

To be perfectly honest, the nicest hen dos I've been on have either even cheap and cheerful (but very drunk) meals out, or a weekend away in the country in a cottage/bunkhouse, with a walk or two and plenty of drinking games :)

I agree with a PP who said that people will drop out though, although IME people will drop out regardless of cost.

Doilooklikeatourist · 27/08/2015 20:40

So you're looking at everyone spending £500 & if they do the whole Hen Do ?
I think that's a hell of a lot lot of money , and I couldn't justify spending that much
I'd rather just have dinner out and a few drinks

Supermanspants · 27/08/2015 20:40

Bloody hell..... 300 quid a head for a hen do......expensive!! Seems a bit OTT as well.
What ever happened to a nice meal out followed by a few cocktails somewhere. The whole hen/stag do business has just got ridiculous. Given that one in three marriages end in divorce it is hardly about a last night of freedom anymore is it

Each to their own I guess

WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere · 27/08/2015 20:41

So that's without a hotel for the night?

That's very expensive, and I've been to a lot of hen weekends.

rainbowunicorn · 27/08/2015 20:44

Sounds completely OTT to be honest. There is no way I would spend that on a hen do nearly £300 then I would imagine any travel on top of that. Most people would probably not be able to afford that

Timeturner · 27/08/2015 20:44

Ive just spent that much on my engagement ring!

Bunbaker · 27/08/2015 20:44

It's too expensive. Just have some cocktails and a meal out.

If you insist on doing the rest people will start dropping out nearer the time.

There are umpteen threads on here complaining about pricey hen dos and I wouldn't be surprised if one isn't about the one you are planning.

CurbsideProphet · 27/08/2015 20:45

I would never spend that much money on a hen do. But I suppose it depends on what people are willing to pay. Have you spoken with the bride's friends about budgets etc? That's crucial IMHO.

Onedirectionarestillloved · 27/08/2015 20:45

Very expensive imo.

Would you mind if lots of people declined to come?

Don't forget the wedding guests will already be forking out lots of cash for the actual wedding too.

beardsrock · 27/08/2015 20:46

200 quid for a spa day?

waterrat · 27/08/2015 20:50

That is so much money...can't you just have a fun evening out and you and your sister do the spa...I live in London and a spa day round here would not be that much.

DoJo · 27/08/2015 20:51

I agree with others - unless you know your sister's friends are very well off, this is a mad amount to expect people to spend on a day out. Spa days can be done significantly cheaper if that's really what she wants, and a themed night out where people might have to buy an outfit just to go for dinner and drinks would also make me baulk at the added expense,

However, you know the sort of people your sister spends time with and this might be right up their alley - I would maybe send around a group email and test the waters before suggesting this as a 'take it or leave it' only option as that might leave you with everyone deciding to leave it and back to square one...

plantsitter · 27/08/2015 20:53

Actually I think you've thought quite carefully about costs as presumably people can just turn up for the granny etc bit rather than the spa? Only thing is that's quite a lot to fit into a day - half day spa would be cheaper and more practical. Also if it's local I don't see the problem really.

Don't do LBD theme though. Too ££ for those who don't have and don't want a LBD. How about getting accessories eg a feather boa each instead?

WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere · 27/08/2015 20:54

And you're expecting people to spend on an outfit. It's a lot. No people won't necessarily wear a LBD again. I've got two dc, I don't go out that much.

I've been on hens where we've hired a cottage and still done a spa day and had a night out. I've never spent £300.

WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere · 27/08/2015 20:56

How does a spa day afternoon tea and champagne cost £200??

gamerchick · 27/08/2015 20:57

I wouldn't fork out that much for someone's hen do but maybe you're all rolling in disposable cash so wouldn't blink at the cost.

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MythicalKings · 27/08/2015 20:59

Way too expensive if they are also expected to buy a wedding present.

I wouldn't pay that.

Arabidopsis · 27/08/2015 20:59

And I felt bad about asking people to pay £120 for 2 nights accommodation including 1 meal and drinks! Extra 30 for optional activity

Way too expensive imo

Fluffy24 · 27/08/2015 20:59

I should have said that I don't think it's a big invite list, she doesn't want work colleagues etc.

I thought that if it were offered as three components most may well just come along at the dinner, but a smaller group of us would precede it with spa day (there are a couple of close friends who might well do the spa thing but aren't bridesmaids, otherwise would've made the spa session a private thing for bridesmaids).

I did wonder about sharing the afternoon tea activity but was worried that there would end up being a lot of time to kill between that and evening and things, at least spa people can chill out at hotel?

What do you think about the £50 for dinner and cocktails? Is it reasonable to specify LBD?

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