To have no idea how to deal with this?

(3 Posts)
myfriendsadementor Thu 13-Aug-15 07:43:48

My friend and I go way, way back to teenage years and I have to be clear here there is no question as to whether she's a friend or not - she is and she's brilliant. Kind, hilarious (in a very dry way) compassionate - I could praise her all day.

It is probably fair to say she's always been a "glass half empty" person - I am 'woohoo, we've got four days holiday left!'; she is 'ohhh I am depressed, half the holiday has gone' but she was always quite dry and sardonic aimed at herself not others (sometimes dry people can be a little bit mean but she isn't.)

However I must admit lately the negativity seems to have got worse, or am I noticing it more? A constant complaint is that she 'never does anything' - she honestly does more than anybody else I know (has a very active life with her partner.) She complains a LOT about her work and I get that as I do the same demanding job but at times I feel like screaming 'is there any light at the end of the tunnel!' She complains about being fat (she is not only not fat but tiny!) and about loads of tiny petty things.

I am often a good ying to her yang if you like but lately I feel fed up and I think I'm making the mistake of taking it personally - of feeling like because she's fed up she's fed up with ME! And I've gone through quite a lot in the last eighteen months or so but I feel like it's lost in the rubble of a thousand other petty complaints. Like the twin towers have collapsed and how annoying, she stubbed her toe on the debris hmm

Help!

borrowedflat Thu 13-Aug-15 08:33:48

people who are depressed can often seem quite self absorbed - they are overwhelmed by negative feelings and can't differentiate between the big and the small things. Do you think your friend has become depressed? Would she benefit from a trip to the GP?

Separately, are you getting the support you need? If your friend can't offer t at the moment, do you have other people you can talk to?

TheSkyAtNight Thu 13-Aug-15 10:40:13

Difficult times have made me reevaluate friendships and notice behaviours that I hadn't previously. It might be worth an honest conversation with her about how you're feeling & the one-way support, as well as whether she needs more support if she does have depression. If she still can't behave differently then maybe you could limit how much you see her.

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