to instinctively 'clock' (not stare!) if another child is potentially contagious?

(14 Posts)
EmancipationOfTheSmurfs Thu 06-Aug-15 15:20:05

I was doing a quick shop with DD2 (10 months) sitting in my trolley. While dashing around the veg section, I noticed another child of a similar age about two aisles away with a face covered in (chicken pox?) spots. I'll admit to a "hmmm, when is it that kids are no longer contagious?" thought process but I'm pretty sure I didn't stare - I've no idea if it was a boy or a girl, for example, and I certainly wasn't close enough to see the state of the spots. A minute later the mother accosted me and said I'd been looking at her child "with disgust" and that the child was no longer contagious. I explained that I hadn't been judging, it was just basic hazard awareness when I was out with my DD. I probably phrased it undiplomatically, and I'm sure she was just frazzled and feeling defensive, but that fairly accurately sums up my thoughts - I will instinctively notice an obviously ill child when it is in the vicinity of my own child. I will not stare but I will 'clock' it as a potential hazard. Am I being unreasonable?

Velociraptor Thu 06-Aug-15 15:21:59

YANBU. It sounds like the other Mum was feeling a bit guilty about taking her poxy child out, so snapped at you when they saw you looking.

ProudAS Thu 06-Aug-15 15:23:59

Sounds like she's being paranoid. It's hard not to stare at times but sounds like you did your best.

Rosieliveson Thu 06-Aug-15 15:30:24

I was going to say what velociraptor said. Sounds like a guilty conscience to me!
I'd have said the same as you. Didn't mean to stare but got caught up in thinking about chicken pox and my own DC so was 'looking'.

MrsDeVere Thu 06-Aug-15 15:57:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theycallmemellowjello Thu 06-Aug-15 16:00:39

If she noticed you looking you were doing it more than was polite I'm afraid! YABU.

rumbleinthrjungle Thu 06-Aug-15 16:49:32

Agree guilty conscience. I have a compromised immune system and have had to leave a shop where parents are defensively marching around a child clearly in the full throes of chicken pox. "She's feeling fine!"

Yeah, good. I'll be heading home now to try to avoid my third encounter with the pox and the last one cost me 14 days of physically being able to work and about another month to get back to near fully functional.

Moodyblue1 Thu 06-Aug-15 16:54:47

She probably does feel guilty or paranoid. My DS has chicken pox just now he has had spots for almost 2 weeks and I am absolutely fed up of being stuck indoors but I wouldn't risk taking him out its not fair on others. I'm sure he mustn't be contagious anymore but it's still a worry.

Goldmandra Thu 06-Aug-15 16:57:54

YANBU. She felt judged because she knew what she was doing deserved it.

If she genuinely felt that the child was no longer contagious, she would have had no reason to try to defend herself.

Looking at a child with CP is perfectly reasonable. Taking a second glance while you process the fact that someone was selfish enough to bring their child out in that state is also perfectly reasonable.

I hope she made herself feel so uncomfortable that she won't now bring the child out again until he/she is over it and safe to be around vulnerable people.

Moodyblue1 Thu 06-Aug-15 17:06:08

How do you know when it's safe to take your kid back out then? I'm struggling after 2 weeks I would assume mine is fine now, as shit as it is I had him out the day before he woke up covered in spots in a very public place so I probably did more harm then without knowing it than I would do now taking him out.

Oriunda Thu 06-Aug-15 17:18:28

Moody - schools (at least my son's) now accept child back 5 days after spots first appear as the latest medical advice seems to be that they are no longer contagious. I would imagine that 2 weeks after all the spots would be totally crusted over.

Goldmandra Thu 06-Aug-15 17:19:19

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Chickenpox/Pages/Causes.aspx

NHS page on CP.

You are contagious until all the spots have dried out and look like scabs.

Moodyblue1 Thu 06-Aug-15 17:35:15

Thanks, they all look pretty scabby now. Will give him till the weekend then hopefully we will definitely be safe to go out!

Goldmandra Thu 06-Aug-15 19:37:31

I had cabin fever by this stage with both of mine! Two weeks is a long time but that's how long it took. Our GP told ut we could go out if any remaining blisters were covered but I decided not to.

So glad they usually only get it once!

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