Don't know what to do next...

(10 Posts)
Fizzielove Thu 06-Aug-15 10:06:09

So in Feb I was made redundant. Very luckily I picked up a short contract which ended start of July. My dad had been unwell and was on heart bypass list. Plan was that I wouldn't look for work until he was through the surgery, I would then nurse him at home.

Unfortunately he took another heart attack and became too unwell for the surgery and sadly passed away on Sunday. The funeral is today.

Now that neither of my parents are alive and needing me I don't know what to do!? I know I need to deal with my parents home and get it cleared out that in itself will be a huge task! But here's the thing I don't know if I should take a long break before looking for work again or just get on with it! I have 2 small DC and a DH (who's being very supportive).

WIBU to just not look for work whilst sorting out my parents house and looking after my family? I just feel so lost. The 2 people who always seemed to have the answer are gone.

EatShitDerek Thu 06-Aug-15 10:09:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

overthemill Thu 06-Aug-15 10:09:28

First of all, I am sorry for your loss. It is very hard to lose your parents.

Second, losing your parents dies make you question things really as you are now where the buck stops. You have to be the grown up now ( not that you weren't before but you could always ask them for advice). So give yourself a break. My dad died January and we still haven't finished sorting everything out. He still had stuff of my mums who died 29 years ago! It takes ages. So do it slowly if you want to. If you don't have to rush into work don't. Maybe do some volunteering if you want a bit of structure though

Fizzielove Thu 06-Aug-15 10:18:11

Thanks for coming back to me. We have enough in savings to keep us going and my dad has left me a bit of money and the house so no immediate need to work IYSWIM. I'm just so scared now that they aren't here. I'm now the last one left I've buried everyone including my DB. Just feel so alone and lonely, even though I have my own wonderful little family.

TheRealAmyLee Thu 06-Aug-15 10:26:15

If you don't need to work don't put that extra stress on yourself. Take your time to sort things out and spend your time with your little family.

So sorry for your loss x

MissJoMarch Thu 06-Aug-15 10:29:58

Sorting out parents belongings and estate is heart wrenching. If there's no hurry, then be gentle of yourself. Don't be scared to pop things Into storage for a year - we kept lots of things in a garage until we were ready to face them.

I took some of the money from my late fathers inheritance and stayed at home with kids.

It's got to be hard knowing it's just you left, treasure your memories, teach your children about your early life if you can and cherish things no matter how small that evoke feelings of happiness from the past.

flowers in sorry for you loss xxx

ElementaryMyDearWatson Thu 06-Aug-15 10:30:12

I'm so sorry, Fizzie, you must be feeling devastated.

I would say: don't make any decisions now. Give yourself at least a few weeks to grieve and at least to begin dealing with the house. But I suspect that, further down the line, you will find it helpful to get back to work so that you are in what would feel a more "normal" routine and structure, given that you are used to working. And remember, there are at least three people who definitely need you.

girlywhirly Thu 06-Aug-15 10:55:15

Sorry for your loss.

As an only child I had deal with all my parents estate after they died, and also work full time and travel a long distance every month until everything was sorted out and the house sold. It was very hard doing it while working, I had to use annual leave as well as week-ends so I do think you should hold off looking for a job at the moment if you can afford to.

I think you will be better able to cope with interviews when you aren't so immediately bereaved.

Callaird Thu 06-Aug-15 10:57:55

When my boyfriend died I needed the routine of work. My bosses gave me as long as I wanted but I went back after 3 weeks because being on my own gave me too much time to think/wallow. My friends were great and I saw a lot of them but they had to work so I went back. It was tough. But I managed to keep myself together around the children (I'm a nanny) and have a moment when they were napping. I look back and wonder how I did it as I was not sleeping at all!

If I didn't make plans for the weekend, I would just stay in bed all day and mope (still the same two years on!)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Do what you think is best for you.

Tinandgonic Thu 06-Aug-15 20:31:45

I'm so sorry. Your last sentence really struck a chord with me. I can't imagine life without my parents as they're so supportive. I just wanted to send some love your way OP.

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