to think that if you kindly take a day off work to look after the baby...

(32 Posts)
mummyrunnerbean Wed 29-Jul-15 11:49:14

....so that your DW can actually catch up on her enormous backlog of working from home work, you should actually look after said baby, and TAKE THEM THE HELL OUT OF THE TINY TWO BEDROOM FLAT WHERE THEY SCREAM CONSTANTLY IF MUMMY ISN'T IN SIGHT.

As opposed to pootling around doing 'useful' things like cleaning out the cupboards while aforementioned baby escapes to find Mummy. And asking 'what shall I feed him?'/ 'Do you think he's warm enough?'/ 'Should you give him some more boob do you think?' every two fucking minutes! FFS you manage when I'm not here! He's alive when I get home after a day out - why when I am here do you need to ask me what to do constantly?!

And no, while I'm at it, it's kind of you to offer (for the second time in twenty minutes), but I still don't fancy a brew, or some toast, or a biscuit, or to just come and see the funny thing DS is doing now, or to have a ten minute break as I must need one by now. I JUST WANT TO GET SOME WORK DONE. angry

// Disclaimer: DH is lovely, and it's lovely of him to use a day of AL for this, and he did let me have a lie-in and brought me coffee in bed, so I feel bad complaining blush. //

But if he'd just go out I could get so much more done, but apparently I'm nagging and 'ten more minutes won't matter' and 'just let me do this first'. That was at 9am and he's just left, and I'm now too wound up to concentrate!!

ARRRGHHHH.

AlpacaMyBags Wed 29-Jul-15 11:55:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummyrunnerbean Wed 29-Jul-15 12:18:27

grin

StrawberryCheese Wed 29-Jul-15 12:22:31

Can you bolt your door so he can't come back in? wink

mummyrunnerbean Wed 29-Jul-15 12:24:07

Oh God he's back. 'The baby needed a change' apparently. Which is definitely not what the changing bag is for... hmm.

They're going back out though for lunch with FIL. <rejoices>

starlight2007 Wed 29-Jul-15 12:29:17

Oh sorry but I have chuckled at your post...

Let us know how much you get done

BackforGood Wed 29-Jul-15 12:32:43

Think i might have taken my lap top off to a library or McDonalds or friend's spare room if im honest.

Spydra Wed 29-Jul-15 12:42:35

Can you escape to Starbucks and work from there?

PurpleWithRed Wed 29-Jul-15 12:44:13

My pub has free wifi if you need to escape and gin

MooJay Wed 29-Jul-15 12:49:40

Totally understand your frustrations OP.
But what I will add, at the risk of sounding a bit of a saddo I that, my DH is exactly the same, when DD was about 1, he took the day off to take over so I could catch up on some things, he also kept bugging me, "do you want a coffee?/biscuit/food/cuddle/kiss" etc. Drove me up the fucking wall
I eventually snapped and asked him wth he was doing, and he told me that he was just excited to be able to have a day to spend time with me AND DD. Soppy git made me feel really 'orrible.
and flattered

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams Wed 29-Jul-15 13:04:19

Tell him not to come back until 5pm, then they can have your undivided attention grin

meerschweinchen Wed 29-Jul-15 13:10:56

Oh, I feel your pain. Mine are 1 and 4 and dh is still like this. Last time they both joined me in the study to do their 'work' (colouring in) too. Then dh finally took them out to the park, only to return after about 30 minutes, because apparently they'd had enough... Funny that when I take them we stay for hours.

I discovered that my local library has free WiFi and was a much better place to work.

ActiviaYoghurt Wed 29-Jul-15 13:19:29

Go and work from somewhere else? coffee shop/slug and lettuce etc?

AquariusRising Wed 29-Jul-15 13:25:12

Is this your first baby and might you regularly have to work from home? If so be firm, set your boundaries now, and insist that you can't be disturbed (at least for anything less than the baby taking their first steps or something like that!).

Both me and my oh work from home at times and have been doing so for a few years. Somehow we've ended up in a pattern where we all behave as if his work at home is official work and it's his choice whether or not to let it be disturbed (and to be fair he often has chosen to do that), whereas it's much more acceptable to interrupt mine whether or not it's convenient. A lot of it's my fault because I wasn't firm enough from the start about boundaries, as much to the kids as to anyone else. It makes it hard to get work done.

So nip it in the bud now! Even if it's just for a fixed time, you can get the best of being at home by saying you can't be disturbed until 12, say, but then you'll be instantly 'home for lunch'.

mummyrunnerbean Wed 29-Jul-15 13:25:16

Unfortunately my laptop has died so I am tethered to the desktop. I can't even go and hide in our bedroom!

Moo I think you're right and he is just excited to be at home, bless him. He has texted me three times in the last hour, but at least I can put my phone on silent! On the plus side I am now actually getting some work done so shall be less grumpy when they come back!

tryingtocatchthewind Wed 29-Jul-15 13:26:16

My DH drives me up the wall with this, he can't do anything with our baby (or toddler) without checking with me ARGH

AquariusRising Wed 29-Jul-15 13:35:22

Related to that - if you're the one who works from home usually, don't fall into the trap of everyone assuming you'll do doctor's appointments and so on. Even if nine times out of ten you're the best choice, always have at least a token discussion with your dh about each one first. Keep clearly in both your minds the principle that it's a joint responsibility, not your responsibility alone with him doing it sometimes as a favour to you if you can't.

AyeAmarok Wed 29-Jul-15 13:47:55

You need one of those door signs that says:

DO NOT DISTURB UNLESS THERE IS A FIRE, AND EVEN THEN, ONLY IF THERE ARE YUMMY FIREMEN.

Then he'll get the idea grin

CurlyBlueberry Wed 29-Jul-15 14:53:47

Argh mine is like this sometimes. To be fair he is usually really good, but he doesn't seem to have grasped that if he doesn't pay attention to the children (who are only small, 2 and nearly 1) then they WILL start to whine and cry, and that I can hear them in our small house, and therefore him "letting me have a lie-in" is actually not doing me any good at all as I'm just lying in bed getting stressed listening to my children whining!

When I let HIM have a lie-in, I get up early, stick them both in the bath as a treat while I shower, get all three of us dressed QUIETLY and then take them out until lunchtime!!

pinkyredrose Wed 29-Jul-15 15:07:17

Off topic but curly you leave your tiny DC in a bath alone?

HuckleberryMishMash Wed 29-Jul-15 15:12:45

confused I'm guessing that Curly is in the bathroom with them (probably even in the actual bath with them!) given that she said she sticks them in the bath whilst she showers pinky

VacantExpression Wed 29-Jul-15 15:15:42

Welcome to working from home... It does get easier, although my youngest is now 5 and loves to "work like mummy" so the difficulties are different.
Set boundaries now, be firm, etc etc all good advice wish I had followed it

CurlyBlueberry Wed 29-Jul-15 16:37:03

God no pinky! It's a shower over a bath, kids are sitting in the bath, I'm standing at one end using the shower if that makes sense... bath fills up as I shower, which is gross, but I hose 'em down quickly when I'm done and get out. They love it more than anything!

BaguetteMaid Wed 29-Jul-15 16:48:27

I'm going back to with next week sad and DH will be SAHD while I work from home two days a week and I'm intrigued to know how it will work out, especially as we're living in a studio flat with no rooms etc so can't shut myself anywhere (well, bathroom maybe)

Might have to work from home from Starbucks...

AquariusRising Wed 29-Jul-15 17:34:16

Try headphones (big proper headphones), even if you don't always actually play any music through them.

Obviously I don't know what kind of work you're doing, but it is going to be very hard if you can't shut yourself away either literally in another room or symbolically by wearing headphones whenever you're not to be disturbed.

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