I feel horrendous even writing this. I've NC because I'm so ashamed.
DH and I had been trying for our first for over five years. We had unexplained infertility so ended up going abroad for IVF treatment. The first cycle failed but luckily we had frozen embryos so six months later we went back and had the remaining two implanted. Basically, for me to get pregnant has been a long, hard slog.
I was absolutely ecstatic when my pg test was a BFP. And I know this sounds stupid but because of our difficulties I really just assumed that only one embryo implanted. You can see where this is going....
At my first scan they suspected twins and that was confirmed a week later. At first I was delighted, but now things have changed. I haven't told DH because I don't dare, I feel so ashamed of myself. Basically, I am terrified about having twins and I feel a bit indignant. I was expecting one baby, one pushchair, one cot, one set of clothes and now everything has changed. I'm 18 weeks now and I already look 8 months gone. I've been told bedrest is likely for the last part of pg as I have placenta praevia, we're going to have to sell our car for a bigger one and I'm going to have to manage two newborns, rather than one. We don't have the house space, I'm worried about all the clutter and we intended to educate DC privately and had been saving - I don't think this is remotely possible now.
I feel like everything I was expecting has been ripped away from me and a whole heap of pressures added on. I cry most days and I'm so scared I don't know how to go about calming myself down. I'm afraid that I'm beginning to resent the 'extra' twin and that petrifies me.
Please - can anyone who's had twins reassure me?? My friend said it could be 'twin shock' but I don't even know what that means :(
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AIBU?
AIBU over pregnancy shock?
51 replies
Ungratefulcah · 29/07/2015 11:43
OP posts:
Imnotbeingyourbestfriendanymor ·
29/07/2015 11:57
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