I've NC for this because it's probably very identifying
Basically I voluntarily run a group for children with a specific disability. This disability affects children's social skills and they can sometimes act up. With this is mind the group fundraisers and provides summer holiday activities free of charge for the children and their siblings so parents can get them out without judgement in case something happens. These sessions are also to help the children develop social skills over summer in a none judgemental environment.
So yesterday was one of the activities. I had my DS with me but the place we chose is staffed and parents stay etc.
As we had plenty of spaces I invited someone I knew who has a son with learning disabilities but not the specific one and his sister as I know the mum struggles to find activities for both children. I work voluntarily with her at a different group, also for children with disabilities. Let call the daughter heather.
One little boy, I'll call him Bob, got very giddy about 30 minutes from the end and hit out, now he didn't do this aggressively or hard, he was playing, he did it to my DS twice trying to play a game with him and I told my DS to tell him no and that he didn't understand. His mum dealt with the behaviour every time. bob then hit out at heather three times because she was going round on a spinning toy. Bobs mum was getting to him to stop him, I was there and went and picked Bob up. Bobs mum came and heathers mum then shouted at bobs mum saying "that's three times now he's hit her!" This was said in a very nasty way and then heather was pulled away, heathers dad then said the same to bobs mum in a nasty way.
Bobs mum then got Bob and burst into tears and said she wasn't welcome and went to leave. I told her that of course she was welcome and to go and have a brew while I watched Bob. I told bobs mum that I would talk to heathers mum about what the group was for and to just try to forget it and have a nice day.
Later. Bobs mum contacted heathers mum on Facebook saying she was disappointed with her reaction to Bob at a group that was supposed to be for the children to practice their skills especially as she was dealing with the behaviour already. Heathers mum then sent me screen shots of the conversation where she said back that Bob was a bully and her children weren't safe around Bob and that bobs mum couldn't control her child and shouldn't bring him out.
Now I've had a nice word with heathers mum explaining that Bob didn't know and it's a very new thing the hitting and that we were getting on top of his behaviour and his mum moping it in the bud with help and support. But heathers mum kept repeating that he was a bully and unsafe to be around other children.
Bobs mum also messaged me with what heathers mum said about Bob and it was really unpleasant. This is made worse by the fact that all of our children also attend the same special school in which heathers mum and I are heavily involved in volunteering.
So... Basically it's all kicked off and I'm in the middle not wanted to upset anyone.
I was thinking of putting a sticky on group saying that the activities are for the children to practice social skills and that there may be instances of unwanted behaviour so although younger siblings are welcome, they have to be aware that they come at the parents own risk and that no parent is to be made to feel judged or like their child isn't welcome while at group.
But I'm unsure how to properly word it. Would this be unreasonable do you think? Should I put a general sticky up about rules or should I just leave it and hope it blows over?
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To put an official statement up regarding rules of SN group
37 replies
FrustratingSituation76 · 28/07/2015 08:57
OP posts:
Tizwailor ·
28/07/2015 09:21
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
DixieNormas ·
28/07/2015 09:57
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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