I'm seriously going to lose my cool with neighbour

(47 Posts)
ForFukSake Sun 26-Jul-15 15:31:32

Firstly I have posted about this before and I have been flamed. Please don't be rude to me, it isn't needed. I'm extremely stressed. I moved here from DV to live in PEACE and all this neighbour has done is bother me.
Wether his actions would bother you or not is irrelevant.
It stresses me out and I just want to live in peace, I don't want any problems or trouble.

If you have read any of my other threads it's in regards to an elederly man who has been, in my opinion, stalking me.
He stares in my windows, at my car, constantly ringing my bell, following me to the end of the road.
Before it was ringing my bell to make excuses to come into my flat and now it's to complain about noise.
When he rang my door today I was on my bed sitting in complete silence having a nap.

The housing association told him only 4-5 days ago to LEAVE ME ALONE and any issues he has with me to go through them.

The man rang my bell again today, I ignored it like I always do.
Today I got some furniture delivered which was my mums who has passed away 2months ago.
He went outside and looked in the van, he then said to my uncle who was delivering the furniture "she don't answer the door"

My uncle told him he doesn't care and carried on working.

I don't understand why this man seems to think anyone involved with me gives a shit about him.
This is the second time he has come outside to speak to a visitor of mine.
Last time it was to enquire what the person was doing at my door.

I'm sick of this and I feel my privacy is being invaded.
Anything to do with me is nothing to do with him.
I cannot move and I wont I only moved here in April.

It's stressing me out i just want to be left alone.
I'm actually willing to pay for an injunction if I have too because it seems my housing association are not tough enough.

Aibu to be pissed off at him talking to my visitors or am I being dramatic?
im really trying to not lose my cool which is why I ignore the door but it is very hard. I don't need this stress.

dontrunwithscissors Sun 26-Jul-15 15:35:53

I'm not sure why you've been flamed before, but it sounds perfectly reasonable to be pissed off with this. It goes waaaaay beyond a nosy neighbour.

TheCatsMother99 Sun 26-Jul-15 15:36:09

I'm not entirely sure what you can do if I'm honest but I didn't want to read and run as that sounds awful. I'm a very private person at home and am not overly keen on even nice involvement from my neighbours (as I just want peace and quiet), let alone when it's negative involvement so I really feel for you.

If you feel this is harassment could you speak to the police on their 101 number for advice?

GraysAnalogy Sun 26-Jul-15 15:38:31

I've had lost my cool before now

What have you actually said it him directly?

Koalafications Sun 26-Jul-15 15:39:09

I haven't read your other threads so I'm not sure why you were 'flamed'.

Based on this post, YANBU. If what you have said is an accurate reflection of the situation then I think your neighbour is being inappropriate and I would be pretty pissed off, too.

MrsBertMacklin Sun 26-Jul-15 15:39:58

I've not read the other thread, but:

- have you started keeping a log of all incidents, times, dates, actions, duration of actions?

- Do you know if it is just you that he does this to, or if any other neighbours get this treatment?

- You make reference to issues that he may have with you (regarding the HA telling him he has to go through them, not directly to you), what are these?

gobbynorthernbird Sun 26-Jul-15 15:41:07

I actually think that losing it and telling him in no uncertain terms to fuck off would be helpful.

Methe Sun 26-Jul-15 15:42:39

Are you the poster with the neighbour her lurks on the landing for her to go out?

WayneRooneysHair Sun 26-Jul-15 15:43:28

OP I remember you, you are definitely not being unreasonable. It sounds like he has taken a dislike to you for no reason whatsoever.

TiredButFine Sun 26-Jul-15 15:43:40

The housing association just told him to stop it, but he is still doing it. Call them/email them now so they have a collection of complaints on record as they happen to you. They now need to get tough on this guy.
For whatever reason he can't change his behaviour as he has shown by bothering you after he was asked not to.time for him to face the consequences.
Yes it's a pita but could you get all visitors briefed to say " you've been asked to leave her alone, so why are you knocking/asking me.

Hissy Sun 26-Jul-15 15:43:42

Call 101 for advice, call the HA tomorrow again and request help to either resolve this situation or move you somewhere that you CAN live peacefully.

Don't let this get to you. Easy said I know, but you don't have to answer the door to him, you owe him nothing.

mrsfuzzy Sun 26-Jul-15 15:44:26

i would contact the housing association again, make a note and log incidents times etc, to pass over to them. this is harassment, so i would also speak to the police especially if he is interfering with visitors and looking through your windows.
he may have problems that need intervention from the social services, but do not put up with it, your home should be your sanctuary not your prison.

Penfold007 Sun 26-Jul-15 15:44:31

I remember your previous posts. Tell your housing provider on Monday that he is still bothering you and you demand that they ensure you have 'quiet enjoyment' of your home. Make it clear you are prepared to take legal action. A chat with the CAB might be useful.

DoreenLethal Sun 26-Jul-15 15:45:04

No OP - you are the normal one [still, I posted the same on your thread].

You need to find out how far you can take this. It would drive me bananas.

Methe Sun 26-Jul-15 15:45:08

Did he HA mention if he had caused problems with the previous tenant?

ListenWillYou Sun 26-Jul-15 15:46:29

I did read the other thread before it was deleted. confused have you had to reregister or just namechange ?

OP, I don't know why you are posting on AIBU - i if you just want a rant you might find chat a better place to post.

scarlets Sun 26-Jul-15 15:47:49

I read the other thread, and was on your side. This gentleman sounds very odd. It's not your job to humour him.

I reiterate my advice to report it to the police, just so that it is on file - they may send an officer round to have a discreet word. Your uncle and the other visitor will back your story up, as can the housing association rep.

As a DV survivor, you are aware of the importance of feeling safe in your own home! It's important. I wish you well.

Goshthatsspicy Sun 26-Jul-15 15:48:00

I remember your other thread /s.
Couldn't see why you'd be flamed to be honest.
It sounds dreadful. Tommorow phone your HA and lodge it as a complaint. Disregard your housing officer, and go straight to the top. Do not give in. Keep calling, emailing, until you get a result. Although it will be hard going, it has to be done.
I would also consider going to your local police station (if you still have one) and opening a complaint/ letting them know.
This character must stop the harassment.
flowers

TiggieBoo Sun 26-Jul-15 15:48:15

Yanbu. I don't know what you can do but he sounds like a pest. If you are too shy or polite to tell him to fuck off, ask a friend or relative to tell him not to approach you again or you'll report him for harassment.

ilovesooty Sun 26-Jul-15 15:49:35

Just contact the HA again and call 101 if he's bothering you and insist on your right to quiet enjoyment of your home.
I don't see what else you can do.

howtorebuild Sun 26-Jul-15 15:49:55

I don't know the history. This guy needs intervention. I hope the HA can help you both.

bestguess23 Sun 26-Jul-15 15:54:00

You might have a case for harassment without the threat of violence as his visits are causing you distress. To be considered as harassment the police would need to judge that the distress is intended on his part. You could ask the police to intervene by calling 101 and speaking to your local policing team or you can take civil action. The CAB will be able to advise of civil action. Your HA should also take steps to help.

Stratter5 Sun 26-Jul-15 15:55:56

Oh gosh, I think remember your past thread - lots of excuses made for him because he's old and alone?

You are so not being unreasonable. He's gone way past being a PITA. Don't tell him to fuck off, you can't do anything that would give him leverage with the HA. Keep a diary, keep visitors informed - I second asking them to tell him he's been told to leave you alone, keep the HA up to date, and log with police. Ask if police can talk to him.

RachelRagged Sun 26-Jul-15 15:58:35

OP I apologise for my rather flippant comment the other day asking if you were paranoid .. It is clear you are not. . Sorry.

spottybottycream Sun 26-Jul-15 16:00:11

There is a man on my street who behaved very similarly to this with my next door neighbour. She lived alone and was in her late 20's he is around mid 60's. He used to look in her bins and litter pick outside her house and just generally find any excuse to hang about outside our houses in order to see her. He introduced himself to her family and friends whenever they turned up and eventually started sending her letters asking why she treated him with contempt and tried to avoid him and why she kept her curtains and blinds closed all the time! She moved to live with her parents in the end, telling him she was going on sabbatical to turkey and then moving to Scotland when she came back! Don't stand for it. Ask the police to have a word if you have to. She wouldn't and it escalated to the point she felt she had to move to get away from him.

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