WIBU to demand Harry Styles comes over and gives me a good seeing to?

(89 Posts)
WienerDiva Sat 25-Jul-15 10:05:33

Ok, hear me out.

I keep having really vivid "rudey" dreams about Harry Styles, they sort of dreams that would make Katie Price blush blush. And I'm thinking the only way it's going to stop is if I ask, no DEMAND, he comes round with awful morning breath and nits, shows that he is dreadful in bed, just to prove to my dream state that I am in fact not a 15 year old, hormonal 1D fan. But I'm actually a married mother, in my 30's that sensibly drives a Volvo.

Then and only then I might start having dreams about men that are more appropriate. Or perhaps my own DH, can't remember the last time I had dream sex with him!

So my AIBU is, AIBU to ask HS to come and have sex with me with the above conditions?

HoneyDragon Sat 25-Jul-15 10:08:31

I have just vomited up my first coffee of the morning.

You don't need Styles you need a therapist.

Costacoffeeplease Sat 25-Jul-15 10:10:18

Couldn't think of anything worse - well maybe a few, but not that manygrin

WienerDiva Sat 25-Jul-15 10:10:18

I know sad

I'm deeply ashamed of myself.

But yet get all bashful and weird if he comes on the tele (it's like he knows).

FanjoForTheMammaries Sat 25-Jul-15 10:10:45

By thr looks of him you would catch things.

SirChenjin Sat 25-Jul-15 10:12:47

Harry Styles?? Really??? Even my almost-16 year old DD wouldn't. Pull yourself together woman.

Costacoffeeplease Sat 25-Jul-15 10:13:17

And the body of a child, nothing manly there at all - autocorrect changed it to manky, almost as if it knew who I was typing about!!grin

AmberNectarine Sat 25-Jul-15 10:13:23

I used to feel this way about Zayn until I realised he was a love rat.

KindergartenKop Sat 25-Jul-15 10:15:40

He wouldn't know what to do with you, he bats for the other team.

WienerDiva Sat 25-Jul-15 10:15:59

I'm my normal everyday awake state it's not a problem. Only when I'm asleep, I promise!

WienerDiva Sat 25-Jul-15 10:17:36

I've heard that too Kindergarten (on good authority too). Does seem to be much of a barrier for my subconscious though blush

CalmYourselfTubbs Sat 25-Jul-15 10:19:08

agree with kinder.
if you're male, you might be in with a chance.
otherwise, you're barking up the wrong tree.
if he's straight, then i'm Mickey Mouse.

Groovee Sat 25-Jul-15 10:19:43

Are you my friend who wanted to take him home from the concert.shock

SirChenjin Sat 25-Jul-15 10:20:20

You might find a few hours in front of Welcome to Hell cures you of your Harry love

Isn't he humping nick grimsaw?

SuburbanRhonda Sat 25-Jul-15 10:22:05

YABU.

He looks unwashed.

AccordingToOurRecords Sat 25-Jul-15 10:24:14

I have never slapped anyone in my life but��. There now, hopefully that has shocked you out of this hysterical outburst. Go and clean something, it'll helpgrin. I can't do anything about the Volvo thoughwink

redshoeblueshoe Sat 25-Jul-15 10:26:43

Takemeup - I was going to post that grin

WienerDiva Sat 25-Jul-15 10:30:25

angry I don't take kindly to violence (unless HS is pulling my hair). Only joking!!!! Thank you. I needed that.

TwinkieTwinkle Sat 25-Jul-15 10:32:02

Have you suffered some sort of trauma recently? It's the only explanation I have for this.

Battleshiphips Sat 25-Jul-15 10:35:07

I think what your having is called a nightmare. Eat a block of cheese before you go to bed and you might have a slightly less scary one about aliens abducting you and experimenting on you.

WienerDiva Sat 25-Jul-15 11:05:44

Cheese munching = not a problem! Any particular type? I'm assuming the more offensive to the nose the better?

EmberElftree Sat 25-Jul-15 11:09:30

I feel your pain wiener, dream hs must be very busy as he visits me a couple of times a night. I have no interest in him I'm rl whatsoever and didn't even know he existed until we heard steal my girl before christmas in a taxi and my mate was shocked that I didn't know it was 1d singing (not in uk) or who they were. Ah well my excuse is I'm 30 weeks pregnant and have sex dreams almost every night, even about Gordon Ramsey <boke>.

RoboticSealpup Sat 25-Jul-15 11:11:40

Yuck!!! shock

NorbertDentressangle Sat 25-Jul-15 11:16:02

I think you might be the wrong sex for him Wiener.

Also he always looks dirty, unkempt and off his tits. Not a good look.

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