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AIBU?

My Nan shouting at DD, age 3.

40 replies

Penguin29 · 23/07/2015 21:05

My nan is over to visit, we had arranged to pick her up at lunch time to go for lunch in town.

However there was no way with habing an extra seat in the car that I would get my pram in too. So I walked on down whilst my husband picked up my nan.

When she arrived to meet me, first time she's seen DD in 18 months she said Hello but when my nan went to touch her she shouted no no no, out of no where my nan shouted will you shut up silly child so this made me DD scream then she shouted in her face shut up now!!

I said she's only shy, don't talk to my DD like that.

During the meal that my mum and sister attended my nan didn't speak to me once to even speak let alone home arrangements.

So I left when my sister had to go back to work to grab some breast pads from boots and to come back, just gave an excuse to let nervous DD have 5 mins away from the stern looks she was getting from my nan.

Anyhow the hole in the wall ate my card, on payday grrr, so I called DH to come and get me immediately, at this point I didn't consider my nan and just wanted to get home as DS was nearly due a feed.

When I got in the car I text all of them explaining the card and that I was going home, anyway.... This is the string of texts that follow.

Nan: When you offered to pick me up, I thought you'd be dropping me back to your mum's!
Fortunately Sarah was there and gave me lift!

Me- You were hinting that you had to wait in town for 3 hours, I came to the conclusion that this was because you didn't want to spend another car journey with 'my screaming child' as you so kindly put it to Mum and S whilst I took A to the loo.

Also I didn't want to put either of my toddlers in the situation of possibly of you shouting 'shut up' in their faces ever again! I don't want to fall out with you but the way you spoke to A was unnecessary, rude and I am annoyed that you felt you had the right to speak to any of my children in that way. Also I know Tom would have not taken it lightly, so I thought it was best that you didn't have to suffer another journey with T incase you spoke to him the same way you spoke to A

Truth is - my toddlers scream, and cry sometimes too! They get messy and they have the ability to drive you crazy sometimes.

I'm also late, and not perfectly organised with getting everyone out the house at a set time yet, infact I changed A dress twice before we set off to meet you and re sprayed her hair every time she dared to touch it.

My mum and dad aren't the most organised people either, their house gets messy like everyone's does, they don't iron everything and even I have a basket of ironing to do, they don't put things away immediately either - but this is life.

What I'm trying to say is no one is perfect, not my mum and dad which you kindly said to Tom about you don't know how they live that way, not me, not my children and not you either.

Nan: OK

Me: And don't get me wrong, I'm not being nasty - at all.

But I won't let you talk about my behind my back and about my children to mum and S and then try and turn it on me because you didn't get a lift.

Don't try and make a problem out of something so small please x

Nan: ok !!!!!!!!

Me: Ok. I see I've upset you by standing by my child today. Enjoy your time, I haven't been horrible to you. I'll stay away from mums until you have gone to stay with S to avoid any upset. Have a nice time, I'm not getting wrapped into an argument because you shouted at A - it's ridiculous x

AIBU????

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Passmethecrisps · 23/07/2015 21:09

Screaming in the face of a child in unkind and certainly unnecessary. If she can't see why that has upset you then you can set clear boundaries to stay away from her.

On another note - did you mean to leave actual names in your post? If not you can ask mnhq to change them.