A few years ago, two people in our social circle had an 'emotional affair' (at least, as far as I know, it never became physical). It definitely happened: the female party to the EA (who was single at the time but is now remarried) showed me several of the text messages she'd received from the male, and confided in me and several other people. So it's not in dispute that it happened.
I really struggled with this at the time as the emotionally 'cuckolded' wife was (still is) a close friend. I told the EA couple several times that they had to stop otherwise I'd tell the wife because I hated what they were doing to her, and after a few months it fizzled out (though I cannot be sure if the female in the EA just stopped telling me about it as she didn't want me to tell the wife). Wife was/is very insecure, very jealous and very possessive. She's suspected her husband of fancying other women, but oddly never suspected the EA woman (presumably because EA female was/a good friend of hers).
Flash forward a few years: EA woman is now married to a man she met around about the time the EA fizzled out (I suspect that meeting him was a catalyst in the fizzling out). However, over the last year or so the four of them (EA woman & husband [who knows about the EA] / EA man & wife [who, as far as I know, does not know about the EA]) have become almost inseparable. They seem to spend every weekend together, are talking about taking holidays together, spend several evenings a week at each others houses.
It makes me really uncomfortable. At best, it's definitely over, but while they're all having a 'great' time together 3 of them are engaged in a secret that the fourth (the wife) knows nothing about and would be devastated by. Worst case scenario, the EA couple are 'at it' again (or perhaps always were) and are using this huge amount of time together to carry on the EA in plain sight.
I know, I know, it's none of my business, but the whole thing makes me very uncomfortable. AIBU to be angry about this, on behalf of my poor friend who (presumably) knows nothing about it?
(NC-ed because my usual username posts contain details of my occupation which would possible out me)
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AIBU?
To be angry at friends who had 'emotional affair'?
50 replies
TellmeifIABU · 13/07/2015 18:35
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