I must be being U because my husband says I am and his sister (and assume their Mum too) say so as well. So perhaps you lovely people on Mumsnet can explain how so I understand it.
We live a couple of hours drive from my husband's family and a couple of months back they arranged to come to visit over the summer holidays.
A bit of background to our setup, husband and I have a 2 year old and live nowhere near family (not that this has anything to do with it really), SIL has a 2.5 year old and lives a couple of streets away from parents so they help them out with childcare a lot. However let me stress the amount of childcare they do for SIL makes no scrap of difference to me, I know if we lived closer my inlaws would also do same for us.
Going back to inlaws visit it was arranged months ago and all fine. Then about 2 months ago, just after we discovered I was pregnant and would have been 5 months by time of visit my husband tells me that he had arranged for his sister, brother in law and niece to come as well but forgotten to tell me.
When I found this out I asked my sister in law if they could come on another weekend for 2 reasons
- I will be 5 months at time of visit
- This week my inlaws come would be only chance husband and I get to have a little breather from toddler and a chance to do something on our own and get jobs done around the house before baby comes.
To add more background our house is 4 bedroom so big enough for us all at a squeeze but I personally would have found it stressful, bearing in mind my husband does nothing on bed making/changing front to prepare for guests and also SIL is a but particular about where her son sleeps has to have own room etc which might have meant room swapping whilst they were here.
My sister in law got really offended said she won't come if she is not welcome and has been off with me ever since. My husband fully backs his sister up and I can't understand why.
Please explain why I was unreasonable in not wanting this, I just can't fathom it.
Oh and in the meantime I sadly had a miscarriage but that does not have much to do with the issue here.
They just both made me out to be selfish and a bit spoilt. Can anyone explain. I am never anything but nice to them all but my inlaws are full on sometimes and I am just not used to it as my family is so different.
Was I unreasonable saying I woukd rather not have them visiting, or at least asking them to visit another time?