to be feeling so hurt

(11 Posts)
STATUSQUO63 Tue 07-Jul-15 11:39:16

So yesterday I had an upper endoscopy to see why I am getting lots of issues with my digestion. (d)h worked from home to take me which was fine and do school runs.
He is quite stressed at work and was in a fairly bad mood anyway due to issues with our pc and a difficult boss. Well actually he has resigned but that's another thread. ds than decided to walk home and got lost delaying my pick up.
I could tell he was stressed as he accelerated harshly into the car park.
He did not ask me how it went or what were the results but instead moaned about getting no work done due to ds2 mucking up pc and ds1 not following instructions etc
I imagined that when things had calmed down he would ask but in the end I just went shopping and my test wasn't mentioned at all.
Now one of the dc did say something and I said I was ok as he was upset. So perhaps dh took it to mean all was well.
But he should have asked shouldn't he?
my parents are dead so they couldn't ask and my 2 siblings who knew never rang either.
Incidently things are as expected but a bioposy has been taken as a precaution and to check for infection. Plus my condition also makes me more likely to develop stomach cancer
So aibu to be so upset about this.

ApocalypseThen Tue 07-Jul-15 11:45:52

No. Of course he should have asked. Expecting you to listen to his trivial whines about the children when you've had a procedure like that is also extremely self centered of him.

flamingtoaster Tue 07-Jul-15 11:55:00

You are not unreasonable at all to be upset. He should have asked.

paulapompom Tue 07-Jul-15 11:56:37

He should have asked, but people sometimes behave strangely around illness, and ignore the whole issue - that doesn't help you though. Could you tell him how you feel? X

ThumbWitchesAbroad Tue 07-Jul-15 11:58:54

Agree, YANBU to be upset. Although my DH is like this as well - I don't think he wants to know unless it's good news, do you know what I mean? I think he assumes I'll tell him if it's bad news as well.

I hadn't even told him I have a GP appt this week for preliminary discussions as to why I'm having pain getting some foods into my stomach - just not worth the discussion with him until I have more idea myself whether it could be serious.

Notgrumpyjustquiet Tue 07-Jul-15 12:05:52

I would raise the topic of the tests calmly today and tell him the outcome, say it was a shame that you were all so busy/ preoccupied with the ruddy kids etc yesterday especially him because women don't get to be stressed out by having more than one demand being made on their time because they can 'multitask', that you really did want to discuss it with him because you are so worried about it all and still haven't (technically) had the all clear, so he hopefully picks up on the fact that this is a big deal for you (of course it is, nothing wrong with that) but try to keep any tone associated with I'm also very pissed off that you didn't even ask me about it out of your voice because (and I'm not suggesting yours would) they can sometimes get a bit competitive about who's had the shittest day. Maybe round off the conversation with a suggestion that you all do something nice together at the weekend, something to look forward to and take your minds off the stess you're all under?

Or just have a massive rant at him about how he clearly doesn't give one shiny shit about anything apart from his own problems.

Your call really... flowers

SomethingFunny Tue 07-Jul-15 12:19:32

Maybe he was really scared and that is why he was stressed. He didn't ask because he doesn't want to know that something is wrong?

Doesn't help you, but his not asking isn't necesarily him not caring.

STATUSQUO63 Tue 07-Jul-15 13:55:05

Thank you. You know thinking about it maybe he just expects me to tell him I am ok.

Lateswim16 Tue 07-Jul-15 13:59:24

Of course the daft twat should have asked you. And more importantly listened to you.

Hope you are ok op flowers at least mumsnetters listen.... Sometimes. wink

Topseyt Tue 07-Jul-15 14:11:06

Of course he should have asked. Whining about being given the run-around by children is relative trivia.

My DH can be a bit nervous of asking, in case the results are not good. He does ask though.

I've had an endoscopy before, and it wasn't easy (though all was well in the end).

It can feel like quite a rough procedure, so hope you are not feeling too sore now.

STATUSQUO63 Tue 07-Jul-15 19:58:17

Thank you. Feeling fine physically. Also spoke to dh and siblings so all well.

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