Bit of background..
I'm 16 weeks pregnant, just split with my ex as he wants nothing to do with my baby. He was abusive about it and tried to emotionally manipulate and blackmail me into an abortion.
Despite that, I bloody miss him loads. Really not used to being alone so I have a lot more time to over think a lot of things. One thing I'm over thinking is my pregnancy in general. I'm so eager for things to go well I'm so anxious thinking something will go wrong.
I have a private scan booked for tomorrow so I can find out the sex of my baby. I thought this would give me something to look forward to and something to keep me happy while I'm feeling so low (originally I wanted to wait to find out til my baby is born but now I just want to bond as best I can).
My family are really excited which is lovely because their support means the world to me. My grandmother has organised for us to all go for a meal on Thursday (my aunties cousins etc) to celebrate me being pregnant and it will be a brilliant way for me to get excited and take my mind off things.
The only thing I'm worried about is that I'll be feeling really down and now enjoy myself and create a bad atmosphere at the table. I have my good days and bad days and even on my good days I can have a few hours where I just want to be alone and cry. I'm worried someone will ask about my situation with him and it'll set me off, and I don't want to go out my way to tell them not to because that will upset me just as much. I'm just not sure I'm ready to celebrate as even though I'm thrilled about my pregnancy I still feel I have this black cloud hovering over me since my relationship broke down as my ex was my best friend and I'm just not used to not speaking to him, although I know it's for the best.
Anyway, would it be unreasonable to cancel the meal even though everyone is looking forward to it and reschedule it for a later date? When my grandmother asked me today I felt a bit under pressure to say yes because it seemed as though she'd organised it already.
I may feel better tomorrow after my scan which I hope is the case. But if I'm still feeling so down in the dumps, would it be a good idea to rearrange? Or shall I stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with it?
I feel so stupid for getting upset over my ex partner but it's just a lot to come to terms with and I don't want to ruin anyone else's evening, but I don't want to be rude and decline a meal planned for me.
I think I just need someone to tell me to cheer the hell up and stop moping about.. It's not like my ex will be!
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To cancel a big family meal even though everyone is looking forward to it...
15 replies
Frillsandspills · 06/07/2015 20:26
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