People talking about their problems when other people can hear but aren't included, They really annoy me! AIBU..?

(21 Posts)
MeowImaCatfish Sun 05-Jul-15 13:16:27

It annoys me no matter what the problem is but it's more about hearing people talking about personal stuff like family... To me talking about problems with someone else is really cringey and I don't understand people who can do it (Im not trying to say I think it's stupid Ive just never understood it, im a very private person) I'm just really weird aren't i?

PtolemysNeedle Sun 05-Jul-15 13:18:36

You're not wierd, but nor are people who are very open about their lives. It's just one of the many differences between people.

mrsdavidbowie Sun 05-Jul-15 13:18:59

Yes
grin

mrsdavidbowie Sun 05-Jul-15 13:19:36

I am very open but only discuss with friends who have empathy.

TinyManticore Sun 05-Jul-15 13:20:03

Ah, but without people airing their dirty linen in public, there'd be no Jeremy Vile show.

MeowImaCatfish Sun 05-Jul-15 13:24:10

Fair point tiny smile

LazyLouLou Sun 05-Jul-15 13:28:06

Not really.

I went out on Friday, stopped off to buy bread and have coffee. There were 2 women talking and one was really letting rip about how the other had let her down. I assume they had met in public so angry mum could take the offending mum to task outside of their homes. Then I realised that offending mum must have chosen the venue, angry mum was loud enough banging the table and leaning in... I can't imagine how much worse she would have been in private.

It transpired that angry mum's 6 year old had had a minor mishap (that's how angry mum described it) whilst the 2 families were together. Apparently offending mum, who hadn't seen it happen, hadn't done enough to put her own slightly older kids in their places, especially when one had the temerity to say that angry mum's younger child was actually quite irritating.

I usually stay for about an hour, reading a magazine, chatting with the Spanish waitress and generally lazing for a while. But I was out in less than 20 minutes. Angry mum had got to about her 11th "One last thing, can I just say..." and I wasn't prepared to put up with another in her litany of daft things (like why wouldn't offending mum simply tell her boy to accept 6 year old as if he were his own brother?).

Kudos to offending mum though, she stayed calm... I didn't. I am afraid I flounced out. It really is unacceptable to behave in a way that makes others feel uncomfortable, like a snoop/eavesdropper, in small spaces, when they have paid to be there and were looking forward to a quick relax.

quietbatperson Sun 05-Jul-15 13:35:49

I used to work with a woman who would hold very personal and loud conversations in the middle of the office with another member of staff. If you dared to even make eye contact with her in the middle of one of her "private conversations" she would tell you to mind your own business hmm

Fatmomma99 Sun 05-Jul-15 14:02:38

I love overhearing this kind of thing but then my life is very dull

MeowImaCatfish Sun 05-Jul-15 15:03:54

Got the feeling it may just be me who gets quite creeped out by it.. Maybe I'm part of a phobia that's so rare nobody knows about it grin

Tuskerfull Sun 05-Jul-15 16:45:12

I don't understand your thread title at all. Do you mean you hate it when somebody talks to you about problems you aren't involved in, or when you can overhear conversations about things you aren't involved in? confused

ChampagneBabyCakes Sun 05-Jul-15 16:52:22

Hate this too. Theres a girl at work who does this all the time. Tells her story to her friends but hushes her voice when it comes to the name of the people involved while looking around the room accusingly.

I feel so awkward and have to remind myself that shes the rude one!

bertsdinner Sun 05-Jul-15 19:02:54

I've got a colleague who does this, she's very, very open about her life and sex life, which apoears to be a bit of a disaster zone. She has very loud, very detailed conversations with the woman next to me.
I used to feel a bit awkward as it was a private conversation, but a very loud one. Now, I just think if it was that private they would go elsewhere/lower their voices.

quietbatperson Sun 05-Jul-15 19:17:45

Tuskerfull - I think it's more that if it's a private conversation, it should be held in private, not held in the middle of the office forcing everyone else to overhear the intimate details of their labial reconstruction (actual conversation I overheard in the office one time hmm). It's cringeworthy.

The same goes for people having some kind of personal non-crisis on their work landline - the person who I referenced in my post above used to take calls from her mum on her work number instead of her mobile, and she was constantly arguing with her about something or crying, or both, and as soon as the call was over she was back to normal as if nothing had happened confused but the rest of the office would shuffle around her embarrassed because she would act as if her phonecalls were very private but the huge open plan office could hear every bloody word.

IUseAnyName Sun 05-Jul-15 19:52:29

Eugh, theres a parent at school like this... She wanders in of a morn and as soon as shes through the gates shes shouting to her friend at opposite side of the yard about anything she's got going on that day, usually her annoyance at he dh.
Its weird!

SunsetDreamer Sun 05-Jul-15 19:58:13

But it's great fun to listen to!

Better than the tv or radio grin

EmpressKnowsWhereHerTowelIs Sun 05-Jul-15 19:59:33

Just like the people on public transport who have very personal conversations on their mobiles. It's as if they forget that anyone else can hear them.

HaleMary Sun 05-Jul-15 20:07:59

To be honest, if it was interrupting my work, I wouldn't care if it was their sex lives, a plot from Eastenders, or an incisive analysis of the Greek debt crisis, I would just be suggesting they shut it...

I did once overhear one woman telling another that she'd found her boyfriend in bed with her father, though...

MagicMojito Sun 05-Jul-15 20:08:21

Eavesdropping is fine until the people your secretly listening to say something hilarious and you can't stop yourself from laughing and they realize what your doing blush

Olddear Sun 05-Jul-15 21:29:29

Many years ago my friend and I were in a pub and the tables were quite close to each other. The people at the next table were really tearing into somebody they were talking about and we were pretending not to listen but it was a really juicy story. My friend got so interested, when they mentioned another name we hadn't heard before she said 'who's she?' out loud!
Any pretence we hadn't been listening was gone by then......

MeowImaCatfish Sun 05-Jul-15 22:44:27

tuskerfull I meant when People are talking about their problems in public and I can hear them talking (loudly, usually) and I'm not included in it as they're complete strangers... I feel like they're doing it on purpose to get me to join in or prove I've been listening or something.. It's just really awkward isn't it grin

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