To expect my DD's primary school to sort out a potential bullying issue

(3 Posts)
TattyBaloo777 Fri 03-Jul-15 18:38:36

Hi Everyone
I'm new on here and would just appreciate some other mum's points of view. It's a bit of a complicated story but I'll try to be as brief as possible. My DD is a very anxious child and suffers greatly from panic attacks and separation anxiety. Now she's in year 3 the situation has not improved and I have approached the school among others for some support.

One big issue is there are 2 girls in her class who are particularly unkind to her. This distresses her and makes getting her go school all the harder. She does not have a large circle of friends and for reasons best known to themselves, the school put her in a class away from her best friend last September. I initially went along with this in the hope she would make new friends and therefore achieve a positive outcome. Sadly this has not happened and these 2 girls can be unkind - excluding her from games and calling her names. It doesn't always happen but she is understandably confused as one minute they are friendly (usually if an adult is around) then the next they turn on her.

I flagged this up as an issue and the school promised to look into it and perhaps do some work with the group of girls in that class to encourage them to get along. I felt this was positive as the 2 girls concerned may not realise how bad they are making her feel and she may become a little less sensitive. However I was informed yesterday that as the grown ups in the school had not witnessed any problems no further action will be taken after all. Today, when lining up to go in for lunch one of the girls kicked my DD between her legs. Again this was not witnessed by an adult and when I raised it with a teacher I was told there was nothing they could do as the girl in question denied it!

AIBU to think that this situation could be handled so much better? My DD is not a liar and would not make things up for attention. She is painfully shy and avoids being centre of attention at all costs.

Teabagbeforemilk Fri 03-Jul-15 18:44:01

The fact that thy are saying they didn't witness it, in my experience, means that they don't know who to believe and therefore can't do anything.

We had this until one of dds bully's grabbed her by her hair in view of several pupils.

I know you know your ds best, but the school at view things (incorrectly) a bit differently. Go in and speak to them and ask them directly why they are not doing anything. Also tell them you do not want your ds and these girls left unsupervised

vvega Fri 03-Jul-15 19:13:51

I would keep a record of any further incidences, bring it up informally with the teacher on a regular occurence. If things escalate take it further. Arrange a meeting with teacher and deputy head if necessary and request a plan of action.

In the mean time focus on other friends. Even if not reciprocated have other girls over to play on a regular basis. I know you will, but teach dd to ignore and walk away from the mean kids. If they do anything like kick her tell her she must tell someone straight away (or tell them to stop in a very loud voice)

It isn't nice, but its all too common behaviour with girls unfortunately.

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