To just be utterly pissed off with everything

(12 Posts)
Frillsandspills Thu 02-Jul-15 16:34:28

This is more of a rant than anything but I feel it's needed at the minute before I crack up.

I'll be 16 weeks pregnant tomorrow and of course nothing seems to be going smoothly.
My OH left me because he doesn't want a baby and I'm left utterly heartbroken. Can't even bare to get dressed some days or even socialise. Both our families have been supportive however I just wonder whether his family will continue to be supportive when they realise he's never going to 'come round' to having a child. He's blocked my number now since I won't have an abortion.

I've been so utterly stressed out I've not been eating so yesterday I passed out at the top of the stairs and went tumbling right down unable to save myself but thankfully my baby is ok (well cushioned in there).
This whole situation has pissed me off - I love my ex OH to bits so I can't quite get over why he's treating me so badly. I know our pregnancy wasn't planned and timing could be better but myself and our families are really happy, he's just so stubborn. I'm just devastated that what should be a happy time for me is being tarnished by my relationship breakup and I'm not sure how to handle it. I spoke to my midwife about it because I'm worried about bonding with my baby as I've felt so guilty for thinking my baby is the route of all my problems when in fact it's my OH as he's been so unsupportive. My midwife listened to me and she said with how i reacted to falling down the stairs and being so concerned about my baby she felt I'd have no trouble bonding and to be fair I know when I have by little one in my arms I'll realise that following my heart would be worth it.

My family (parents aunts, uncles, cousins, grandmother) have a sort of tradition of going for a carvery when it's someone's main birthday (like 18th 21st 50th etc) as a roast dinner is something we can all agree on food wise and my grandmother insists on paying for everyone. She wants to take us soon to celebrate me being pregnant which is a lovely idea and everyone knows about my OH leaving but they don't know how nasty he's actually been about it (I won't go into too much detail) so I'm scared they'll ask because I'll probably just break down and cry into my gravy.
My family have been tiptoeing around me not wanting to get too excited around me as they know I've had problems with my ex OH coming to terms with everything but I've since assured them they can get as excited as they want, I myself just struggle to get excited about anything right now.

I think the weather is pissing me off too, it's warm but not one bit of sun just dull clouds everywhere.

I just hope this bad mood of mine doesn't last too long, and perhaps when I get round to buying baby items I'll feel better or when I feel definite baby movements.
I feel like even if I won the lottery right now nothing could cheer me up.
If only I could grab a bottle of wine!

Fatmomma99 Thu 02-Jul-15 16:37:01

flowers Your situation sounds awful, no wonder you feel rubbish.

I hope things get better for you soon.

WorraLiberty Thu 02-Jul-15 16:41:58

Aww what a shit situation OP but congratulations on the pregnancy thanks

Sadly, you can't force anyone to want a baby even if they have helped to create it. In the same way that if you'd wanted a termination and he didn't, he couldn't stop you.

He might come round to the idea in time or he might not, but as long as he pays maintenance that's all you can really insist on from him.

However, your family sound absolutely lovely and supportive. If I were you I would try to surround myself with them and other positive people, to lift your mood.

Yes, you might cry into your gravy but I'm sure you'll feel so much better for it once you've got that off your chest.

It all sounds like a struggle right now I'm sure, and the heat won't be helping but once you're holding your baby in your arms it will be worth every minute of all this.

FunnyCatVideo Thu 02-Jul-15 16:42:35

flowersflowersflowers
Things will get better. Sounds like you've got a lovely family.

Missrubyring Thu 02-Jul-15 16:46:34

I don't have any advice but didn't want to read and run, just say that things will get better and it's good you've got family around you for support.
flowers

TheWitTank Thu 02-Jul-15 16:47:40

It's a cliché, but it will all be alright in the end op. Your family sound fantastic, you and the baby will obviously be very well supported and loved. Although it seems shit at the moment it will pass. Keep up discussions with your midwife, and focus on you and the baby. flowers

ThomasRichard Thu 02-Jul-15 16:49:59

More flowers from me.

Do you have a family member or friend you can confide in? If you have a family member who would be sensitive and caring, do you think you could tell them how bad things have been so they can give a brief heads-up to the people who will be at the meal?

Also, are you working? If not, would temping for a few weeks help take your mind off things?

BettyCatKitten Thu 02-Jul-15 16:53:44

You poor thing flowers you've got a lot to contend with at the moment, no wonder you feel like you do.
Thankfully you have a supportive family to help you through.
As for ex OH, would you really take him back after how he has treated you? He sounds like a heartless, irresponsible twat who doesn't deserve you and your baby. Grieve your relationship and move on.
Congrats on your baby. Lots of people have bought up children alone, I have in the past, and you will be fine smile

Frillsandspills Thu 02-Jul-15 16:54:41

Thank you so much. I love a good rant it makes me feel better to write down reasons I'm annoyed, I suppose if I read them back enough it makes me really I shouldn't be as annoyed in some way?

As this should be a happy time for me I wish I could make the most of it as its my first baby so I don't want the pregnancy tarnished as I'd like to appreciate every moment of it but I still have another 5 months to go so there's plenty of time for that.

At the minute I'm terrified of my ex OH going off meeting other non pregnant women, but i suppose if my relationship was to end over this then it probably would have ended over something else in the future so if he really doesn't love me maybe I've had a lucky escape. It's just so difficult going from spending every moment with someone to suddenly being on your own.

I've never appreciated my family or friends so much til now they've been absolutely amazing and I can't thank them enough, so I should think positively as I've got so many wonderful people surrounding me!

haveabreakhaveakitkat Thu 02-Jul-15 16:55:14

Reading this op, what shines through brightly is your wonderful supportive family! You'll get through this sad time with them right behind you. Big congratulations on your pregnancy. Take care on the stairs and hope you feel cooler soon x

TheWitTank Thu 02-Jul-15 16:57:18

Op, you will get some fab support on the relationships board. Lots of people who have lived through similar situations and can give you hand holding and advice.

ineedabodytransplant Thu 02-Jul-15 16:59:01

OP, rant away if it helps.

Lovely family, pity about your shit of a OH. It's a pity it wasn't him who fell down the stairs (No baby padding to protect that fecker)

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