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AIBU?

To feel like working as a single parent is impossible

21 replies

mommy2ash · 29/06/2015 19:36

My last job was very flexible and a lovely family owned business that I worked with since before I had my daughter.

My new job is your standard 40 hour week where u are just a number on a time sheet.

It wasn't too bad with my little girl in school as I could avail of the after school club but now it's the first day of summer holidays and my sister has told me she can't help out anymore. That's totally understandable she had her own kids to look after.

I have to ring in sick tomorrow and come up with a plan fast but how? I'm not left with enough money at the end of the week to cover more than one day at a childminders and my mum works every morning till twelve if I quit my job due to lack of childcare I doubt I would get any help at least not to begin with and I have nowhere to go if I can't pay my rent.

How do other people manage ? It all seems so impossible right now

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dancemom · 29/06/2015 19:37

Holiday Club and Tax Credits

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puffinrock · 29/06/2015 19:39

Can you not claim tax credits?

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manicinsomniac · 29/06/2015 19:40

I can't imagine how you do it in a 'normal' job. That's why I became a teacher - before and after school care free and no need for holiday care.

Do you know other single parents? Can you arrange a rota or something for the holidays? Are there holiday clubs?

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acatisnotjustforeaster · 29/06/2015 19:40

Are you entitled to childcare vouchers (tax free salary ring fenced for childcare)?

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littleshorty · 29/06/2015 19:40

Are you claiming everything you're entitled to? Tax credits covers up to 70%of childcare. Council will have a list of childminders in your area

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mommy2ash · 29/06/2015 19:43

I'm in Ireland we don't have help with the cost of childcare unfortunately I have one friend who helps as she also works so we swap around where we can.

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Glitoris · 29/06/2015 19:59

I can't believe you have actually left it until the first day of the holidays to start looking at options! It looks like you're going to have to call in every favour possible to have it covered.How much notice has your sister given?

How old is your child?You could hire a local teenage babysitter to cover you for the few hours until your mum takes over.Summercamps run all through the summer,you may have to enrol her for the 8 weeks and cut back in other areas.Use your holiday entitlement for some of it.

Why oh why did you leave it until this late to get it sorted?!

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pregnantpause · 29/06/2015 20:02

Gilt- I think the op made clear that her sister was going to have the dc but let her down last minute.

Anyway yanbu op. I don't know any solutions though. Good luck Thanks

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downgraded · 29/06/2015 20:05

Same as manic, I'm a teacher.

I can see that that doesn't really help you at the moment though.

Can you pal up with some of DDs friends and swap having them a day or two a week?

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reddaisy · 29/06/2015 20:07

It is rather unfair of your DSIS to let you down at the very last minute. I second a local teenager to help out - probably the cheapest route. Good luck, it can't be easy for you.

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CainInThePunting · 29/06/2015 20:10

Are there no holiday clubs where you are?
There must be other mums in the same boat? Can you ask the school to send a message out to all the parents and see if you can share the childcare? Or hire a nanny between a few of you to spread the cost?

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BettyCatKitten · 29/06/2015 20:10

It is tough and when I was a lone parent I had to plan child care with military precision. Are there any holiday clubs/play schemes? Ask dd's friends mums. Can dd got to child minder till your mum finishes work at midday? I hope you find a solution.

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mommy2ash · 29/06/2015 20:11

I didn't leave it till last minute I thought I had it sorted. My sister is going back to work at the end of the month so is just too tired she wants to rest before she starts back. She hasn't given me any notice as of today she can't help out.

I have my little girl in summer camp for the next two weeks I don't have anyone to drop her tomorrow so will take time off. My friend can drop her the other days. That leaves six weeks. There aren't any other local camps for that time. If I can make it through to sept I will be fine. I might be able to take out a loan to pay for a childminder. My dd is eight

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mommy2ash · 29/06/2015 20:12

And thanks everyone for the help and ideas it's calming me down just talking it out

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CainInThePunting · 29/06/2015 20:14

Oh here's a thought, go off sick for a couple of weeks and set up your own holiday club for a reasonable fee...?

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SuperSaint · 29/06/2015 20:15

I know you're in Ireland so I've no idea if things are the same there but always find childminders to be ridiculously expensive for all day holiday care at about £70 a day. I tend to use Council play schemes in school holidays. I've just booked DS in one that's £95 for the whole week 8.30am to 5.30pm. Do you have anything like that near you? You could call in the morning and see if there are spaces.

Do the after school club do any all day holiday care? Try different schools if yours don't.

When did your DSis say she couldn't help you any more? If it's in the last few days I'd ask her if she can have your DD for the next day or so to give you time to make other arrangements.

It is really hard and I spend a fortune in the summer holidays just so I can go to work!

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Chchchchanging · 29/06/2015 20:20

Face book post- needed emergency childcare help for Next week until I can sort summer holidays due to plans being canx unexpectedly- can swap and help you on other weeks over summer?! Or any suggestions for affordable options available now?!
This will
A- only go to your friends who will sympathise
B- your sister might see it and offer a few days after all
C- people will offer where they've seen places
You have my sympathies isn't it 9 weeks I. Summer in Ireland??!! Shock
Ps if anyone from work friends on fb I'd I friend them for the post of the sickness maybe questioned...

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Chchchchanging · 29/06/2015 20:22

Also- is child's father or family an option at all? Apologies if not appropriate

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Chchchchanging · 29/06/2015 20:23

Last question- where in Ireland are you? Dublin or somewhere more rural? I ask because (for next year) if you could get job at civil service you can do extra hours and then have summer off, but using less holiday by the extra hours

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ghostyslovesheep · 29/06/2015 20:25

It's not impossible but it is hard and it takes planning and back up plans

I am without holiday cover for one of my 3 as her holiday club is full (sent my booking in 4 weeks ago!) - child minder can her her most of the days but I have 2 to cover

I am taking a day off work and my MIL or my ex husbands step daughter is having her the other day

I't stressful - I hope you get something sorted

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ghostyslovesheep · 29/06/2015 20:27

oh and the 7 weeks go:

1 - at my mums 180 miles away

  1. Holiday Club
  2. Holiday club
  3. away with their dad
  4. at my mums
  5. away with me
  6. Holiday Club


8 - because neither school goes back till Weds (I work Mon/Tue/Weds) I have had to take a week off as no holiday clubs!
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