To be utterly fed up with 'D'p as he is incapable of keeping his mouth shut!

(33 Posts)
godgivemestrengthagain Sun 28-Jun-15 19:37:06

I'm 11 weeks pregnant, when me and dp found out it was a shock, once this had worn off a little we decided only to tell both mums. We would tell the rest of the family after the first scan- which is not due for another week and a half!
4 weeks later....
He goes to visit his mum for the day and also to see his sister. Before he went I asked him not to tell his sister as discussed and he agreed. He comes back and says he has told his sister. Because his mum said she had no one to talk to about it.
I am utterly pissed off with this- my mum also has no one to talk to regarding this and is also super excited, but she has not asked me to tell any of my siblings.
Also we are getting married in a few months, again only both mums knew as they are the witnesses at local registry office, and he tells his sister this as well.
It feels awkward and odd that one sibling must know and not the others and now I feel obliged to tell my siblings.
Dp attitude I'll deal with my family and you deal with yours- WTF?! I cannot believe that any man would think like this.
Oooooh so I told him that I would tell his family as he had no regard for my feelings or what we had discussed ( I know this is petty)
Someone slap me!

nameschanger Sun 28-Jun-15 19:39:54

It reads like you're angry at him for being excited.

godgivemestrengthagain Sun 28-Jun-15 19:42:37

God, really? Oh dear

gamerchick Sun 28-Jun-15 19:44:39

I'll happily slap you if you want grin

He's excited man cut him some slack. Isn't wanting to shout stuff from the rooftops preferable to not being interested at all?

I'm not sure why you want so many secrets though... Have you had mass interfering in your life?

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed Sun 28-Jun-15 19:45:59

Agree with nameschanger also why doesn't he get a say in who knows?

AlsI congratulations, but chill out a bit

petalsandstars Sun 28-Jun-15 19:46:53

I'd be posed off too if you agreed not to tell others yet. I had the thought that if I was happy to tell them if I lost the pregnancy then I didn't mind them knowing before 12 wks. So my ILS in general - no - and in practise MIL can't keep her mouth shut about anything so also didn't find out early.

AnImpalaCalledBABY Sun 28-Jun-15 19:47:53

He's absolutely right to say that you should deal with your family and he with his, why should he not tell his sister things just because you don't want yours to know?

I really don't think he's done anything wrong at all

Tiptops Sun 28-Jun-15 19:48:17

I think there's two issues

1)It's a bit controlling to try and dictate who he can tell and when.

2)He shouldn't agree to keep quiet if he can't maintain it.

Flywheel Sun 28-Jun-15 19:49:14

He doesn't like keeping big secrets from his sister. You do like keeping secrets from yours. I think his suggestion of each of you dealing with your own families is quite sensible.

AuntyMag10 Sun 28-Jun-15 19:49:20

You sound very controlling and a bit hard work. Really you fought with him over thisconfused

godgivemestrengthagain Sun 28-Jun-15 19:50:32

I think it's because we both agreed beforehand, he also has two other sisters and I can just picture it, maybe it's because it would happen with my siblings.
I would get ' why didn't you tell us, if you told X' iyswim

godgivemestrengthagain Sun 28-Jun-15 19:51:58

he didn't want to tell his mum to start off with, maybe I should of encouraged that

MokunMokun Sun 28-Jun-15 19:53:11

He just told his sister. I don't think its a big deal.

SurlyCue Sun 28-Jun-15 19:54:35

Why do you get to decide who he tells? Its his news too! You decide who you want to tell and he can decide who he wants to tell. Perhaps he agreed beforehand just to keep you happy til he got out the door. You sound like you'd have given him grief if he'd told you upfront that he was telling his sister.

godgivemestrengthagain Sun 28-Jun-15 19:57:23

We decided weeks ago what we were going to do
Alas, maybe you all are right, Maybe I am controlling, selfish etc. I will finish the relationship, as I think that will be for the best.
Thank you for all your opinions and for being honest.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sun 28-Jun-15 19:57:35

Ah I get he was excited but I see why you're annoyed. My first pregnancy we told MIL and she was desperate for us to tell SIL so she could talk gossip to her about it. For various reasons we didn't want to tell SIL until 12 weeks. MIL sent an email to us, copying in SIL, 'accidentally' letting slip. If you'd agreed not to tell her he should have stuck to that.

Nolim Sun 28-Jun-15 19:59:57

Not telling untill 12 weeks is pretty standard. Yanbu.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sun 28-Jun-15 20:04:42

By the way there was a post on here a few weeks ago, posted by a man, saying his wife wanted him to wait to tell his family (mum and brother) until 12 weeks but he wanted to tell them now. He got a resounding (about 20 pages of it) YABU. The argument being that the woman is going through the pregnancy not him and therefore her wishes overrode his. Wish I could find it to link to. It always baffles me how different people get completely different response on here!

MelanieCheeks Sun 28-Jun-15 20:07:06

Woooah! You're considering finishing the relationship over this? Really????

AugustaGloop Sun 28-Jun-15 20:07:07

You are going to LTB??

Wrcgirl Sun 28-Jun-15 20:14:19

If you agreed this together imho you have every right to be annoyed, and it would be hard to trust him to keep secrets again.

SylvaniansAtEase Sun 28-Jun-15 20:15:10

Yanbu.

You agreed.

'Perhaps he agreed beforehand just to keep you happy til he got out the door.' -yes, probably, how excellent! Lie to you to shut you up then do the opposite once out of the door. Great, just the kind of guy you want to be going through pregnancy and childbirth with...

I would be amazingly fucked off if details about my pregnancy were broadcast to friends or family by my partner without me knowing about it.

TidyDancer Sun 28-Jun-15 20:18:07

I think the OP is being sarky, I wouldn't take the ltb threat seriously!

If you want to keep a secret, tell no one. I don't think you can blame the man for wanting to tell his sister.

gamerchick Sun 28-Jun-15 20:21:32

I can understand wanting to keep a pregnancy secret but keeping a wedding secret at the same time?

I would pop!

Pumpkinpositive Sun 28-Jun-15 20:34:31

I will finish the relationship, as I think that will be for the best.

RESULT!!!

Mumsnet - 1 / menscum - 0

No, not really. Congratulations OP, and relax. Not worth getting narked about something you were going to spill next week anyway. thanks thanks

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