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AIBU?

To ask wwyd?

8 replies

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 25/06/2015 23:15

Ex dp was violent and controlling to me and dcs.
He is now with new GF.
Part of me thinks she should know about his past behaviour.
But part of me thinks she is a grown up. She has seen his bad temper (he texted me by mistake while they were fighting...)
And a small part of me thinks "if she finds out, then throws him out, would he try to come crawling back here...?"

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Lweji · 25/06/2015 23:19

Would she even believe you?

She will probably think she is different and he is fine with her and she can handle him.

I wouldn't do or say a thing unless she specifically asked.

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Raveismyera · 25/06/2015 23:20

I wouldn't do anything

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youareallbonkers · 25/06/2015 23:20

Don't be spiteful, you don't want to tell her for her own good, you want to break them up.

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Fatmomma99 · 25/06/2015 23:21

If you had a new partner, how interested would you be in the views of his ex?

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WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 25/06/2015 23:25

Bonkers, no way! She is welcome to him. Honestly.

I don't know if she would believe me, or if she would assume I was trying to break them up.

Lweji, I think that is what I wanted to hear.
They have been together a while now, and I have not said anything.
But there is a nagging voice in the back of my mind... What if he hurts her? Should I have done/said anything?

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AnyoneForTennis · 25/06/2015 23:26

Does she have dc?

I've told my ex's new girlfriends.... Total of 3 over the years. They have all been fine with me. I've helped one of them escape him!

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GiddyOnZackHunt · 25/06/2015 23:35

No hold your horses. But if she comes to you then she has someone who understands.
I had my ex's next partner come to me. She thought she was somehow lacking in something and that was why he had treated her the way he had. We couldn't have been more different. And it was him not her or me. She needed to talk about living with him and to believe in herself. I think it was good. If I'd waded in she would probably have thought I was jealous and maybe felt awkward about that.

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WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 25/06/2015 23:59

Tennis, no she doesn't have dcs. But she does look after her nephews.

Giddy, thanks. Yes. That makes sense.
If she comes to me and asks, I should be honest and tell her.
Until then, I do nothing.