to wonder why otherwise lovely people turn into insufferable twats on FB?

(76 Posts)
GodGaveSausageRollsToYou Tue 23-Jun-15 08:23:13

I was scrolling through my feed and just thought at every one, DON'T CARE, BORING, TWAT, FUCK OFF, NO ONE CARES, WANKER

these are my actual, real life friends blush so I felt very mean thinking these things...but I just can't help it

there are actually very few people on my friends list that I actually enjoy reading updates from

and yes, I know I could hide, and often do.....but it genuinely intrigues me about what it is that makes people behave this way

also suspect that, I too, am a twat on FB

MumSnotBU Tue 23-Jun-15 08:24:30

Just close your account? You'll have more time and feel better.

pictish Tue 23-Jun-15 08:28:43

Och I have times I think like that scrolling through my newsfeed. Just like you describe. I'm usually feeling a bit chippy in myself when I see it that way, if the truth be told.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou Tue 23-Jun-15 08:30:42

Probably for the exact same reason that (probably) nice people turn into smug, insufferable twats on MN too.

I prefer FB because you can opt not to see certain peoples posts, or even block them if you want - something MN really needs to think about...

Keep meaning to leave, but keep coming back.

AddToBasket Tue 23-Jun-15 08:35:36

YABU. I mean, what were you expecting? Ok, no one cares where X went for the weekend but that's not X's problem. Facebook is just people writing stuff - there isn't an obligation to be interesting to GodGave.

sweetgrape Tue 23-Jun-15 08:37:03

There's someone on my friends list who's got a new boy friend. She's actually asking him on FB every night what he wants for his tea while he's sat next to her. confused

CocktailQueen Tue 23-Jun-15 08:43:11

Sausage - What sort of thing annoys you?

I suppose people only post the exciting highlights from their life so it might seems a bit - 'Oh, I've been here, my daughter has won this, this fab thing happened' - is that the kind of thing you mean?

TheDowagerCuntess Tue 23-Jun-15 08:47:35

FB is a conduit, a vehicle and a platform for total twattishniess, you are not wrong.

People comes across as arsehole versions of themselves on there, and I say this as someone who actually has reasonable, normal, vastly sane people populating my FB feed. I include myself in this summary.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Tue 23-Jun-15 08:48:46

I'm probably an annoying twat on FB. I post stuff that concerns me about certain issues, but not everyone has the same concerns. SOME of my friends do, and they re-post them. But others probably think "oh god she's banging that drum again, ffs".

However, I'm not going to stop posting those posts because if they get the message across to even a few more people it's worth it.

OTOH I am getting ever so slightly narky about a friend who has just had a baby and posts a photo of him every single day. With loads of other friends gushing, every single day. Poor child's going to have his whole life catalogued on FB at this rate! I wouldn't dream of saying anything to her though.

WellTidy Tue 23-Jun-15 09:00:24

There are times when Facebook makes me feel worse about things in my life. A prime example is around the time of parents evenings at school. I hear so much about how people's children are doing amazingly well academincally, got perfect scores in this that or the other, is exceeding targets etc.

My DS2 has SEN. His life, and our lives, are so very different. We are still adjusting and feeling very emotional. We will need to be more resilient, but we're not there yet.

There is enough going on in my life to make me feel sad and overwhelmed and I don't need to feel worse. So I take a break. And then come back after however many weeks/months.

LadylikeCough Tue 23-Jun-15 09:00:50

The Facebook newsfeed is an invaluable psychological tool. You can tell if you unconditionally love someone: when they post 600 cat photos, a daily picture of their breakfast and their kid's school report, do you delete, unfollow, or just pretend it didn't happen?

My cousin commits every FB crime possible, but I still think she's great. Whereas someone who I really thought I liked posted a few motivational-quotes-on-sunset-pictures and I deleted that sucker without a backward glance.

ChwatFeechers Tue 23-Jun-15 09:02:26

I think on the whole people are more 'real' on Facebook than on MN.
Dread to think what a few on here would be like in RL without their keyboard to bash someone with.

claraschu Tue 23-Jun-15 09:05:54

Why is no one funny, self deprecating, or honest on FB? I feel it would almost be against the rules to say anything that I am actually thinking, so I never say anything.

AuntyMag10 Tue 23-Jun-15 09:07:02

It must be you.

LaurieMarlow Tue 23-Jun-15 09:07:38

My conclusion is that only a teeny, tiny handful of people have anything interesting or original to say on Facebook.

I can count 1 person on my feed who genuinely amuses me or makes me think.

I only really use it to keep up with far flung family though. I don't post much myself.

GodGaveSausageRollsToYou Tue 23-Jun-15 09:13:44

FB is a conduit, a vehicle and a platform for total twattishniess, you are not wrong

pmsl

and I KNOW I could close my account , I KNOW I could unfollow...but that's not my point...I just don't understand why I can love people in RL but hate the fuck out of them on fb

I even include close family members and my BFF

i strongly suspect i annoy people too, i often post political stuff, boast about things ie holidays, things i have been to, things i think are funny that my dc have said, post selfies and baby / child pics, so i am not naïve enough to think everyone is a dick on FB bar me. :D

VeganCow Tue 23-Jun-15 09:14:21

That's exactly why I deactivated my Facebook a few years back now.

Fauxlivia Tue 23-Jun-15 09:18:41

One of the many reasons I deleted my account was because I actually liked my friends and wanted to continue liking them. If I'd never met them irl and just judged them from their fb posts I would think most of them to be utter twats.

I also dislike it when people have fb conversations with their spouse, who is sitting on the sofa next to them! Talk ffs!

ShuShuFontana Tue 23-Jun-15 09:23:39

ladylikecough

that is so true...I have hidden so many people for FBcrimes, but a select few just get an indulgent tut and I scroll on by!

I am generally too nosey to delete or block anyone, but I do love the smug satisfaction of seeing a gap in a conversation and knowing I have no need to interact with the twatty blocked person.

My fb is mostly dog photos, dinners out and stuff I have made, along with the odd London thing that I wish I could do, so am probably as bad as the rest of the world grin ...and I don't give a bugger!

bangalanga Tue 23-Jun-15 09:27:34

I think people feel the need to make an effort.

It is often made much worse by people who post to it constantly, because when people who really shouldn't post constantly feel the need to keep up, you get all sorts of unpleasantness.

Political rants and slogan graphics are the worst things for me. Really dislike opening facebook because of that crap.

Cherryblossomsinspring Tue 23-Jun-15 09:30:41

I can honestly say I have never felt that on facebook. I just take it all with a pinch of salt and am pleased for people when they have something to be vocal about. One exception is a family member who was OTT vile in his postings but I wouldn't listen to him in real life so I hid him on my newsfeed. It was just too upsetting to read his posts.

Is it a confidence thing that people get to you OP? Do you understand why you automatically feel aggressive and pissy towards people for their ramblings on facebook? The posters are often quite insecure themselves, its nothing to be irritated at. People just want others to know the inside story sometimes, even if it is of little consequence to others.

I personally post on facebook about twice a year other than a private group I am in where we chat daily so I'm not a big sharer.

lljkk Tue 23-Jun-15 09:31:23

I do think FB is Not For You if you can't be happy for other people.

pictish Tue 23-Jun-15 09:33:26

lljkk there is a lot of truth in what you just said.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou Tue 23-Jun-15 09:33:59

Why is no one funny, self deprecating, or honest on FB?

I can only think it's your friendset then. I've got friends on there that I served with years ago & it's a great conduit for keeping in touch.

There are funny, honest, moving, poignant and awful posts - much like any conversation we'd have down the pub in person.

Perhaps if you're friends with people you see every day it's different, I'll see most of my FB friends once a year or so, very good friends - every couple of months.

My RL friends I tend to keep in touch with via text, phone or talking....

Sandbrook Tue 23-Jun-15 09:34:42

An aquaintence whom I've recently deleted changed her profile picture every day, every single day like she thought you supposed to. All of them were her looking her best with trout pouts, full length mirror selfies before she went out out partying, when she bought new make up, when she had her hair done, 200 different poses of her in her wedding dress, full length photos of her in her gym clothes with tag line "off now to work out, wish me luck".
A selfie in the dentists waiting room. Car selfies with a pout on. The list was endless.
And each picture received the same comments "looking great hun, love the hair hun, you look amazing babe".

Some people have said it is a by of her low self esteem and I completely understand suffering a lack of confidence in yourself but you just end up looking like a twat. Too self indulgent for me.

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