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AIBU?

im mum and dad rolled into one

18 replies

ghostspirit · 17/06/2015 20:13

There is a fathers day thing going on at my chidrens school. where dads can go into school and do things with their children. as i play both roles.does that mean i can go as well

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hiddenhome · 17/06/2015 20:16

But you're not a dad.

A mum might fulfil the role of caregiver, but that still doesn't make you a dad.

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woowoo22 · 17/06/2015 20:17

I wouldn't. Am also an LP.

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AuntieStella · 17/06/2015 20:18

You'll need to ask the school. It's similar on Mother's Day - do you know what they did about children not living with their mothers then?

You need to find out if a different significant man is acceptable (often is) or if extends to anyone significant (might not, rather depending on what other invite 'em in events they hold).

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Sirzy · 17/06/2015 20:18

Our school whenever they do things make it clear that anyone can go along if the intended relative isn't available. We had a grandad at our Mother's Day meal as mum was working!

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AuntyMag10 · 17/06/2015 20:19

Not all parents will be able to make this day due to work or other prior commitments. You will need to ask the school of it's ok.

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tinkytot · 17/06/2015 20:20

I am going to Father's Day assembly this Friday with sons grandpa in absence of Dad. Why not? If you can and DC is happy with that go.
Also makes a powerful point to the school.

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ghostspirit · 17/06/2015 20:21

i am a dad...im going to wear men type clothes and have a mastache.

sirzy that sounds like good way to do things

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Balaboosta · 17/06/2015 21:08

Do you have a friend / brother / grandad that can go instead?

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elderflowerlemonade · 17/06/2015 21:21

I do wish schools would not do this.

It is bound to be painful for children lacking these relatives for whatever reason. Many adults find these days hard.

I wouldn't, in your shoes, but I loathe these events anyway.

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Karoleann · 17/06/2015 21:25

We always have a few dads/nannies/grandparents/au pairs at mother's day and father's day events.
It's really sad for the children if no-one comes.

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elderflowerlemonade · 17/06/2015 21:29

I'm sure that made the OP feel great, Karol Hmm

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toomuchicecream · 17/06/2015 21:35

My previous school did this. The invitation was clear that it was for any male relative/friend ie granddad, step dad, uncle, older brother etc. The same with mother's day - I had the full range of grandmothers, older sisters etc etc. I always explained to my class that not all mummies could get time off work - after all, I wouldn't be able to leave them all to go to a mother's day event at my son's school and so not all their mummies could leave work/younger siblings etc and come into school. Also, as many of the children had siblings their special visitor wasn't in the classroom all day as they had to spread themselves round the family. So there will always be a number of children without someone in the room with them - in my experience, the adults who were there were very good at doubling up children so no one was left out. And if anyone was missed, my TA and I were on hand.

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ghostspirit · 17/06/2015 21:41

like another poster said there will dads that cant make it anyway as they will be at work.

i dont think theses sort of things should be stopped either. we cant protect children all the time.

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elderflowerlemonade · 17/06/2015 21:43

I am thinking specifically of bereaved children but trust me, you feel 'different' enough not having your mum and dad at school plays, sports days and fetes without these sort of events.

I think when a little primary aged boy or girl has gone through that they need a bit of protection, myself.

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MidniteScribbler · 17/06/2015 21:47

We don't have these specific days anymore. We do a 'Special Person' morning tea tea instead where they can bring anyone. The head also allows other teachers, librarian, art teacher, tuck shop ladies, etc to attend as the 'friend' for children who don't have anyone to bring.

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Isindemoodforspring · 17/06/2015 21:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elderflowerlemonade · 17/06/2015 21:52

Oi, you just described me! Grin

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Namechanger2015 · 17/06/2015 21:54

We have one of these next week at my daughters school. I'm going as dad / 'special person' instead.

There are some dads who can't make it, and some granddads attending as well so I'm going to attend as well.

I'm sure school will not bat an eyelid, I very much doubt they are planning any gender-specific events.

I say go for it.

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