To think this was poor behaviour?

(20 Posts)
ApignamedJasper Tue 16-Jun-15 13:49:28

Had to ask this here as I'm really not sure if IABU or not.

Was at a wedding last night, bride's nephew (around 5) was, in my opinion, really poorly behaved at certain points in the night, for example;

There were a lot of balloons lying on the floor and around the tables and he spent a good 15 minutes going around and popping every single one he could find with a cocktail stick, to the extent of crawling on the floor under the tables where guests were sitting to do it.

The bride and her father had a song played at one point and were having a father/daughter dance and he was sliding around the floor, rolling on the floor right by their feet and at one point was kicking his legs around their legs as if trying to trip them up.

Through the whole night I didn't see anyone reprimand him at all so it seems no one else felt he was behaving badly. His mother was sitting within sight talking to her boyfriend most of the night and didn't seem to know/care what he was doing.

Aibu to think this was poor behaviour or is it just me? Or was he just being a child and having fun?

Vintagejive Tue 16-Jun-15 13:51:01

His behaviour was annoying but it was really his mum who was guilty of poor behaviour by not keeping an eye on him.

MrsNextDoor Tue 16-Jun-15 13:51:33

YANBU. Shocking. No decent parent would allow that. Balloon CHASING yes...popping them all? Nope. As for the dance...NO NO NO!

Lj8893 Tue 16-Jun-15 13:52:24

I don't really understand what your hoping to gain out of posting here but anyway, I think it wasn't great behaviour but then I wouldn't judge either as I know what it's like to have "spirited" children. However, the parents should have done more to stop the boy from misbehaving, but again without knowing the whole situation I can't judge.

TwinkieTwinkle Tue 16-Jun-15 13:54:18

I wouldn't go as far as to call it shocking hmm but it was certainly not decent behaviour. Probably tired though if it was the evening part.

longlistofexlovers Tue 16-Jun-15 13:57:48

Agree with the first poster. The kid didn't do anything wrong, he was just having fun.

The parent on the other hand was horrifically behaved in not controlling her son.

MrsNextDoor Tue 16-Jun-15 14:01:05

Long I don't know any 5 year old who thinks it "fun" to disrupt a dancing couple by kicking them.

longlistofexlovers Tue 16-Jun-15 14:04:00

We don't know he was trying to kick them - we only know that he had his legs in the air and the OP interpreted that as a kick.

He may very well have been dancing.

Either way, blame still lies with the parent.

longlistofexlovers Tue 16-Jun-15 14:04:44

*Legs around their legs, not in the air, sorry.

ApignamedJasper Tue 16-Jun-15 14:06:12

He definately wasn't dancing long, he was rolling around on the floor right by their feet and kept sticking his legs out where they were dancing, as if he was trying to trip them up. Difficult to explain without being there!

chaletdays Tue 16-Jun-15 14:06:14

I presume she's hoping to gain a discussion on the issue Lj8893.

I agree, the mother was out of order and should have been looking after her son and making sure he was behaving himself, or taken him outside for a run around if he was getting bored.
No doubt she will be complaining bitterly if he's not invited to the next wedding and banging on about 'bridezillas'.

peppajay Tue 16-Jun-15 14:09:36

My son has ASD and misbehaves at weddings parties etc as he doesn't like social situations and gets very anxious. However as a mum if he started misbehaving to the detriment of others I would intervene and take him away. But our paediatrician has told us the only way he will learn how to behave in social situations is by not avoiding them like I have been doing but doing more and more. So without knowing the circumstances it is difficult to judge!!

longlistofexlovers Tue 16-Jun-15 14:10:16

Fair enough ApignamedJasper.

Still blaming the parent!

chaletdays Tue 16-Jun-15 14:12:32

Peppa that's fair enough. But someone's wedding day is a unique and very special day in their life, so it really wouldn't be an appropriate occasion to start teaching someone how to behave in social situations.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Tue 16-Jun-15 14:13:46

A child running around playing cause mayhem and havoc is one thing However interrupting a dancing couple his own auntie and uncle at their wedding another. It is the height of rudeness.
However how is A 5 year old to know this unless he is told. Another child whose mother has an allergy to disciplining her child.

ApignamedJasper Tue 16-Jun-15 14:15:39

Peppa, my ds2 is also autistic and can misbehave too, not really due to anxiety mainly just because he doesn't understand that he can't eat all the cake/take other people's drinks/some people don't appriciate being climbed on etc. I would also intervene and remove him from the situation if his behaviour was causing an issue for others, which it frequently does! So I do get it but I just felt she should have stopped him.

ApignamedJasper Tue 16-Jun-15 14:22:10

Oops, posted too soon, was going to say I suppose my aibu is more about her really, I felt she should have intervened in the son's behaviour.

With my own child, or indeed any child whether they have behavioural issues or not I think you should pick your battles and there are certain times and places where you can compromise or adjust in order to teach them vital life lessons. There are other times and places where it is not appropriate and lines should be very clearly drawn with no compromises possible. I felt like that was one of those times!

MamanOfThree Tue 16-Jun-15 14:27:23

He was probably bored to death with no one actually taking any notice of him. So annoyting yes, having fun with what he had yes and probably not trying to trip people over but trying tyo get the attention of the ONE person who was the center of attention, ie the bride.

Conclusion. If you take a young child to a wedding, you will still have to spend time amusing them.

soapboxqueen Tue 16-Jun-15 19:27:11

Maybe the bridal party didn't care. If he was the bride's nephew then presumably there were other family members there who could have stepped in?

Therefore either they didn't care, thought it was ok or didn't intervene for a reason.

RiderOfDragons Tue 16-Jun-15 20:39:52

Bad behaviour from the parents for not keeping him amused and stopping him trying to trip up.

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