To ask for help in wording this invite?

(15 Posts)
VelvetRose Thu 11-Jun-15 23:09:09

DW and I are converting our civil partnership to a marriage next year. we want to keep it small (20 guests) and I have 2 siblings with 6 children between them.

DW has no family at all so she is inviting several friends. Anyway, I want to invite my 2 dearest friends but not their children because it will then be a bigger event than we want and even more guests will be on "my side". Plus one of my friend's dds is married so I would have to invite her husband. How can I word this in the invite? I feel like I need to make it explicit to prevent misunderstanding but I don't want to sound as if I don't like their children! If we were having a bigger event I would gladly invite them all!

LapsedTwentysomething Thu 11-Jun-15 23:10:44

Just put the invitees' names in the invitations.

Yambabe Thu 11-Jun-15 23:11:35

I wouldn't put that on the invite at all.

I'd ring your 2 friends and tell them what you have just told us about the numbers and your reasons, then just send a standard invite.

Pico2 Thu 11-Jun-15 23:11:36

Phone them before sending out the invitations.

Hardtoknow Thu 11-Jun-15 23:12:43

Why don't you speak to the friends before hand, explain that you have chosen something small & that, of course, this means you've had to make some hard choices on the guest list so are able to invite the friends but not their DC etc. You could always say that you'd like to catch up with the friends DC and will organise a BBQ or something... which is either does or doesn't happen depending on whether you want to see this friend's DC or not. You then follow this up with the actual invitation which only names the friends.

VelvetRose Thu 11-Jun-15 23:13:12

Thanks all, good ideas. I would just put them on the invite but I think that might be a bit unclear!

JoyceDivision Thu 11-Jun-15 23:13:14

In this circumstance, just so your frioends don't turn up and think 'How come its not a case of no kids invited, just mine? Or what's wrong withmy dp??' I would send a normalinvite but put a handwritten note in explaining the circumstances and keeping numbers small, and while you would love them to share the day, if the arrangement isn't suitable and they can't (not won't or don't want to, but can't) make it, you'll understand.

Honest and gives your friend option to bow out gracefully if there is any upset...

Fatmomma99 Thu 11-Jun-15 23:13:35

Agree with PPs and congrats, Velvet! flowers

You're planning this with LOADS of time to warn people and for them to make their own arrangements.

Hope you have a lovely day! x

VelvetRose Thu 11-Jun-15 23:14:24

I will call them first. Do you think what I've written is ok or would you be offended?

VelvetRose Thu 11-Jun-15 23:18:01

It isn't a case of no kids because my nieces and nephews will be there but also one of DWs friends Dd. But, as I said she has no family whereas mine are more than half the guest list!

VelvetRose Thu 11-Jun-15 23:18:27

Thank you Fatmoma! smile

Fatmomma99 Thu 11-Jun-15 23:22:27

I wouldn't be offended, Velvet. But even if they are, they have loads of time to get over it.

The important thing is your special day, isn't it!

AliMonkey Thu 11-Jun-15 23:27:27

You say one of your friends' DDs is married - so they aren't children then? I'm amazed that anyone would assume an invite included adult or even teenage children?

But agree that if there is likely to be confusion a simple call before sending invite is the answer.

VelvetRose Thu 11-Jun-15 23:31:43

Yes one of my friends has grown up children, but the other has young children (not babies or toddlers).

VelvetRose Thu 11-Jun-15 23:32:55

You are right. 20 years ago when we did our CP we had a large celebration and tied ourselves in knots trying to sort everyone out.

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