Talk

Flip

1 2

AIBU?

Babynamechange update :(

40 replies

Babynamechange · 10/06/2015 21:37

Sorry if this makes no sense to someone not familiar with our story, but reposting here for traffic really.... Anyway this is what's happened now and I just don't know what to do :(

I've now had the letter back from SS and although the letter makes it clear that DS is thriving in my care and at no risk of emotional harm from me etc, you would have no idea from reading it what has gone on. It's like the whole letter is about placating his dad and covering their arse

It makes statements like its is clear that Mr x loves DS very much and wants what is best for DS ...in his own way, and that it is SSs recommendation that unsupervised contact is resumed..etc etc
The following is the most basic list of the stuff they left out sad

No mention was made that he simply didn't turn up for 4 contacts when DS was left at school waiting for him, with no word to DS whatsoever and showing a total lack of regard for DS. Is this seriously the action of the loving parent that SS described or more like the action of someone who finds it impossible to put DS's needs above his own and his more interested in control than anything else.

No mention was made that SS acknowledged that he found it impossible to understand that removing DS from my care was not in DS's best interests....or that they agreed he was unable to consider DS's needs...Or that Lord Justice xxxx noted that 'Mr X was impervious to attempts to point out that DS's welfare was the paramount consideration' and that this attitude was still very much prevalent... Or that they agreed his main motivation was punishing me

No mention of the aggressive and intimidating attitude that he repeatedly displayed to SS and that if they found him intimidating then how would he come across to a 6 year old child

No mention that SS acknowledged that a gradual re-introduction of contact was in DS's best interests.

No mention of the fact that DS NEVER stays at the property that the previous SW visited and that no assessment has been made of the property DS actually stayed at or any observation between him and his dad.

The allegation of indecent photo taking by his dad was simply described as unsubstantiated. No mention was made that DS gave a repeated and consistent and reliable account of what had happened, or that SS stopped contact for 2 months, or that Mr X initially completely denied it accusing me of making it up and that he was going to use it to get DS removed, or that he subsequently admitted to pretending to take the photos for a completely implausible reason

Now I've had a text from him that says the SS letter says that I have to present DS for contact this weekend and that if I don't SS have told him to call the police. Clearly he has received the same letter as me and clearly it does not state anything like this. But the letter has created him being able to feel he can lie and threaten this..

WTF do I do :(:(:(:( SS won't backtrack so I feel like we've been left to hang

I'll tell the ombudsman (who's already involved) but her powers are limited and I just don't know what else to do x

OP posts:

Report

Jelliebabe1 · 10/06/2015 21:43

im sorry to hear this. I have read your story before. I have no advice but I wouldn't present him for contact this weekend. Can ss tell you what the arrangement should be???