To feel a little bit hurt at this...

(6 Posts)
LuxyLady Sun 07-Jun-15 17:24:52

it was DS's 2nd birthday over 2 weeks ago. All of DH's family forgot, when reminded Mil went out got a card and pressie and came round but that was it. I thought maybe some were just a bit late but still over two weeks later and nothing beyond Mil. And they can't have missed it, I'd put a post on facebook with photos of his birthday etc and didn't get a text, fb comment or anything when I know they were on line.
DH has 4 siblings, 2 live close as do Pil's. Though the family has had rocky relationships for some time we have all always kept the children out of it and gotten cards/ pressies etc. I am not upset from a point of view of no presents, just simply the lack of thought or care. I've always felt we are the 'black sheep' of the family but never quite had it put this so starkly before. Sad for DS that this side of his family are like this - DH not surprised as even when his Nan died they forgot to tell him for 3 days. Luckily my side made up for it with great gusto but still feel a little hurt for Ds. On the other hand one of the reasons we don't have good relationships with DH's family is we have always felt they have very misplaced values and priorities of money, selfishness, status; with love, happiness and relationships dropping to the bottom of the pile, so in many ways I am really not surprised just a bit sad !

PenguinBollards Sun 07-Jun-15 17:29:49

I'm not at all surprised that you feel hurt by it ~ but at least you know that they're selfish and materialistic in general so (although it's a minor consolation) it's entirely due to their overall twattishness rather than being personal.

BelindaBagwash Sun 07-Jun-15 17:39:36

Something similar happened to me. XH's brother and wife gave presents to our elder DC but not to the younger. After a couple of years we decided to stop giving to their younger one too.

Immediately, his B asked us why we'd ignored their DS's birthday.............. er, because you've ignored ours for the last 3 years!

Unbelievable really and we stopped speaking completely after that

LuxyLady Sun 07-Jun-15 17:43:05

Yes very similar BelindaBagwash - no-one has ever forgotten DC1's birthday.....

DisappointedOne Sun 07-Jun-15 17:47:55

Just how it is with DH's family.

CrapBag Sun 07-Jun-15 20:56:23

YANBU. Both mine and DH's family are a bit shit. I do feel sorry for my children. They will be older and realise that out of all our families, very few people actually give a damn and actually show it.

DCs birthdays were beginning of this year. They got some vouchers from SIL last week. What's the point! She's had them since the beginning of December, she lives a short drive in the same city, they both drive, have no DCs, work weekdays only, plenty of free time but they just could not be bothered. In the end she passed them to MIL who we only see about once a month so she could pass them on.

I have 4 siblings. Only 1 sister bothers with presents, and it's never anywhere near on time. Christmas my family are better but it makes me sad that no one really gives a shit about their birthdays, or mine. I get cards from DH, DCs, dad and MIL. That's it despite having a large family. Facebook messages or lazy texts don't count to me. I've sent my siblings cards every year, I bought for them until a couple of years ago now I just don't bother.

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