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AIBU?

To wonder how can a grown-up be so mean to a child?

105 replies

pasturesgreen · 30/05/2015 08:01

My friend works in a museum bookshop and last night she was recounting the following episode.

A mother and her little girl, about 6-7 yo, walked through the shop the other day at the start of their museum visit. Child's eye was caught by a novelty pen in a display window. One of those inexpensive museum trinkets, shaped like a mummy, cost less than £10. Mum said child could have the pen at the end of the visit.

My friend heard this exchange and decided she 'wasn't going to let child have the pen'...I was like WTAF?! Surely you just do your job and get on with it...Anyway, she removed the pen from the cabinet (small shop, so that was the only pen on display) and when mother and daughter came back asking for the pen, she said they had run out. So far a bit meh but plausible. Then she went on to inform the poor girl that she actually had one last one behind the counter, but she couldn't let her have it as they have to keep on of each item for sale for inventory purposes. This is not in the least true, as friend readily admitted...Child was distraught as she had been really looking forward to her treat, the mum tried to argue for a bit than gave up.

My friend readily admitted she did this for no other purpose than to 'spite the little brat', that nowadays kids have too much stuff anyway, and that they have to learn to go without etc.

AIBU to think this is just a huge load of crap and it most definitely was not her place to teach the child any lessons at all?
Friend is usually the sort that professes to adoooooore children, cooes over newborns etc., so I was left doubly gobsmacked. I'm actually wondering whether it's worth remaining friends with someone who apparently has no ethical qualms about being needlessly so horrible to a child.
I really, really hope the mum takes to social media to report the episode!

Sorry for the long ramble, this has really rubbed me up the wrong way!

OP posts:

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Pinot4me · 30/05/2015 08:03

YANBU! Very strange and cruel behaviour!

Boysclothes · 30/05/2015 08:05

That is so pointlessly and weirdly mean. She's very strange and I would stay away. It shows there is something odd going on beneath the surface.

MrsNextDoor · 30/05/2015 08:05

Why are you friends with someone like that? I wouldn't be and I think Most people would stop talking to her after that.

Ratbagcatbag · 30/05/2015 08:05

What a nasty thing to do.

To be honest she shouldn't be working in any place where she deliberately removes and hides stock so it can't be sold.

This would wind me up too.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 30/05/2015 08:05

Yeah that's mean and also pretty weird.

HappyGoLuckyGirl · 30/05/2015 08:05

That's just so mean

durhamgirl · 30/05/2015 08:07

What a class A bitch. I would drop her like a stone, bad enough to do it but to tell you as of it was something she was proud of? Unbelievable.

Pipbin · 30/05/2015 08:07

What prompted her to decide that this child shouldn't be allowed the pen? I'm not for a moment justifying what she did but I would have thought the child must have done something to piss her off.

arethereanyleftatall · 30/05/2015 08:07

Ex- friend for me. That's just horrid. And frankly wierd.

cogitosum · 30/05/2015 08:07

That's really really odd.

GahBuggerit · 30/05/2015 08:07

what did you say to your friend?

WonderingWillow · 30/05/2015 08:08

What? That is really, really horrible

Your friend is a shop assistant; it's not her job to decide if a child 'deserves' something.

To be honest, this would really weird me out if one of my friends did this. I'd hate it. I think I'd wonder why they told me, and what kind of reaction they'd hoped for. Agreement? Laughter? An argument?

MaryPoppinPills · 30/05/2015 08:08

Wow that is just horrible. who is she to decide if a child is spoilt based on a small glimpse of their lives. She sounds like a bitch, why are you friends with this person?

Lilicat1013 · 30/05/2015 08:08

Personally I would be willing to consider myself a friend to someone who got a kick out of being cruel to anyone, especially a child and was proud enough of the story to recount it with pleasure.

Efferlunt · 30/05/2015 08:09

That's a bit of a disturbing thing to do to a random child for no reason. I'd disengage from her if I was you.

StonedGalah · 30/05/2015 08:09

Honestly l would ditch her asap. Reading your post reminded me of a colleague who was nasty to certain people just because she could be. She was a vile person.

MythicalKings · 30/05/2015 08:10

It's weird enough that she did it but to tell you about it is almost beyond belief.

She's not a friend I'd want to have.

ButEmilylovedhim · 30/05/2015 08:10

That's so horrible. I thought it was going to be about the mother being mean to the child! Not an employee. Such a shocking thing to do. And she happily told you about so she's not in the least ashamed or sees anything wrong in what she did. I would be distancing myself fast. You could tell her why if you feel like it, but I expect it would fall on deaf ears. My worry would be what else she is getting up to that she isn't telling people about. She obviously hasn't got much of a conscience.

FenellaFellorick · 30/05/2015 08:11

That sounds really spiteful. Planning the upset and disappointment of a child because it would give her pleasure and satisfaction.

Something seriously wrong with that woman.

It would be the end of the friendship for me tbh. It is a glimpse into a very unpleasant character.

KittyVonCatsworth · 30/05/2015 08:12

Definitely unhinged. Run. Run from her and don't look back...she sounds the stuff of nightmares / horror films.

DollsHouseTeaParty · 30/05/2015 08:12

She has read her job description I take it? Which would be something like serve customers?

Not hide merchandise so it can't be bought!

It is cruel and immature - and she would not be a friend of mine.
It is an odd thing to do let alone boast about...

DrDre · 30/05/2015 08:13

She's in the wrong job. Very spiteful behaviour. Weird.

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WankerDeAsalWipe · 30/05/2015 08:13

well, I'm not one of those people who think that all children are delightful but did she say what the child did to deserve her contempt? And regardless, she is paid to do a job so should have sold the pen. its not her place to make that decision.

However, if this is the first of this type of incident, I'd maybe give her the benefit of the doubt and probe to see whether there is something going on in her life that is clouding her judgement.

also, it could be that this didn't actually happen and was instead something she fantasised about doing.

pudcat · 30/05/2015 08:14

and why haven't you reported her.

WingsofNylon · 30/05/2015 08:15

Very odd. If nothing else she lost the shop a sale which, presumably, is the opposite of her job.
Are you under playing the childs initial behaviour in asking for the pen? Not that it makes your friends acto any better but I suppose if the child wss horrible a grumpy adult might have an off hand thought about spoilt children but I am so surprised that she actually went on to hide the pen and be so awful to two customers.

I bet that poor mum had a nightmare of a day after that.

I'd definitely be telling the friend I that dhe nerds to get on with what she is contractually there to do and keep lesson teaching for her own children.

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